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FWA Q&A: ALAN SMITH

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Daily Telegraph columnist ALAN SMITH on the Crazy Gang…Sam Wallace pressing all the right buttons…and Leicester’s lovely pork pies.

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
Only for half a day. When I was 18 I got picked from a long queue outside British Leyland in Birmingham to clean the oil pits during the factory holidays. Good money too – £100 a week. But couldn’t stick it.

Most memorable match?
Has to be Anfield 89 when Arsenal had to beat Liverpool by two goals. We knew afterwards that nothing could ever beat that. What a night, what a journey home and what a weekend.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
England winning the World Cup in Brazil.

Best stadium?
Loved Highbury. It could be a nightmare when you weren’t playing well – the fans were so close to the pitch you could hear all the stick – but what a historic place, from the huge dressing rooms with underfloor heating to the marble halls. No ground like it.

…and the worst?
Didn’t like Plough Lane too much. Not just because it was a bit of a dump with tiny dressing rooms and a dodgy pitch but because the old Crazy Gang at Wimbledon gave you a right going over if you didn’t go into the game with the right attitude.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
Like most journos, I’m sure, I have lost my entire piece from my laptop just as I was about to file once. Started panicking like a good ‘un. Luckily, Sam Wallace was on hand to tell me which buttons to press to retrieve it. Cheers Sam.

Biggest mistake?
Stretching for a ball at Millwall in January 1995. Tore my cartilage and never played again.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
Not really. But my Alvechurch team-mates called me Seb after Seb Coe.

Most media friendly manager?
Roy Hodgson was always helpful as a club manager and remains so with England (before he caught the tube anyway). Sam Allardyce too. Usually manage to have a good chat with Big Sam before his games. Not always about football either. For someone from Dudley he’s an interesting bloke.

Best ever player?
Thought I’d never see anyone better than Maradona but Lionel Messi tops him. Unbelievably consistent with a fantastic temperament. And never gets injured.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
I’ve got to say Barcelona who were probably at their best when they beat Manchester United in the 2011 Champions League final. Unstoppable, whatever you tried. On the international front, the present Spain team aren’t bad. But I did love Brazil in 1970.

Best pre-match grub?
At the home of football of course – the Emirates. What a spread. That said, Leicester did a lovely pork pie back in the 80’s.

Best meal had on your travels?
Arsenal stopped at the Palace of Versailles hotel before facing PSG one year. The creme brûlée was out of this world. And before we played at Torino, the lasagne was spectacular.

…and the worst?
The ones when we lost afterwards. If in doubt, blame the pre-match meal.

Best hotel stayed in?
Perhaps that one in Versailles. Properly elegant set in beautiful gardens
…and the worst? The one in Tirana when England played Albania in late 80’s. The bed sunk down in the middle and the water was brown.

Favourite football writer?
If I’m forced to stray off piste and nominate someone outside the Daily Telegraph, I’ve got to say Martin Samuel. But special mentions reserved for Henry Winter and Paul Hayward.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Love everyone at Sky Sports obviously. But I also like John Murray and Mike Ingham on 5 live.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
Make sure the Wi Fi works.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
The Masters. Always working when it’s on but one day I’ll get there.

Last book read?
Catching the Sun by Tony Parsons. A great holiday read. Miss that sunbed already.

Favourite current TV programme?
Boardwalk Empire.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
My memories really. Never been one for putting too much store in medals.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Never take this job for granted. It’s a fantastic way to earn a living.

IT TOOK ME FIVE MINUTES TO MAKE UP MY MIND

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After 20 years reporting the best games and the best teams, the Daily Mail’s chief football correspondent MATT LAWTON is ready for a new challenge as executive sports editor

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

IT HAD been an enjoyable summer for Matt Lawton, the Daily Mail’s chief football correspondent. Despite England doing what they usually do at major tournaments and losing on penalties in the quarter-finals, Euro 2012 was the best finals for many years, full of excellent football and outstanding individuals while Poland and Ukraine proved not to be the war zones predicted in some – well one – quarter.

Lawton then reported on the swimming at London 2012 which enabled him to tick off another ambition, covering an Olympic Games. The day after his Olympic stint had ended his phone rang. It was the office. Not about some pre-season features. How would he like to become executive sports editor?

“It came out of the blue,” said Lawton who has been on the road for almost 20 years working for the Daily Mail, Daily Telegraph and Daily Express. If being a football writer is a job coveted by many, then being a football correspondent, covering only the best games and best teams, is as good as it gets. Giving it up is not easy but it was an offer Lawton could not refuse. In fact, his mind was made up in five minutes.

“Yes, it was a big decision,” Lawton told footballwriters.co.uk. “To give up what many people think is the best job in the world is difficult, but after 11 years [as the Mail’s chief football correspondent] I thought it was the right time to try something different. It’s a chance to test myself again – not that the job doesn’t test you every day.

“When you are offered an opportunity like this it’s very difficult to turn down. Within about five minutes of being asked and once I’d got over the initial surprise, I was quickly getting into the idea.

“I’ll miss the banter of being on the circuit but there are a lot of guys I’m looking forward to spending more time working with in the office.”

These are exiting times for the Daily Mail with a significant expansion of the web site imminent. “It will be fascinating to be part of all this,” said Lawton who admitted his experience of working “inside” is almost zero.

He said: “The most production experience I’ve had was when I was on the Western Daily Press. We did everything. I wrote, I subbed and once a week I was stone sub.

“I’m not going to walk in on day one and draw a page. We have some very capable people to do that, though it is something I’ll have to learn so I can have more judgement about the pages.”

Lawton knows he has some of the industry’s finest sports writers to all upon, with Martin Samuel a multi award-winning columnist. In football and cricket, the sports that tend to generate the most back page leads, it is rare for the Daily Mail not to lead the way on the biggest stories and Lawton, a football correspondent who never lost his eye for an exclusive, will still be working with the reporters to bring stories to the pages.

He said: “I’ll be part of a team overseeing a very strong sports desk. We have brilliant writers and brilliant reporters.”

Lawton, who starts his new job next month, will still appear in the sports pages, but once every other month as opposed to virtually every day. He said: “There is a desire for me to do the occasional interview. I enjoy doing them and it would have been one side of the job I’d miss most of all. I like meeting new people…different sportsmen…and this is something the new job will allow me to do, maybe half a dozen a year.“

His experience on the road will help Lawton in his new position because the sharp end of a sports desk needs a combination of a top class production team plus those who have sampled life on the circuit.

He joins head of sport Lee Clayton and sports editor Les Snowdon as the major decision makers and said: “I think it can be of benefit to reporters to have somebody in a senior position on the desk who has been there, seen it and done it to work alongside the production guys.

“Lee is the perfect example of a former football writer who is a brilliant sports editor, the best I’ve ever had. With the different skills Lee and Les bring to running our department, I could not wish for two better teachers.”

And Lawton has been fortunate to work under “some terrific sports editors” during his career. He said: “Bill Beckett was my first at the Western Daily Press. At the Express I had David Emery, then at the Telegraph it was David Welch before Colin Gibson brought me to the Daily Mail.”

Tim Jotischky succeeded Gibson before Clayton and then Snowdon assumed control on the Daily Mail sports desk.

Lawton remains part of the most successful media organisation in what the former inhabitants still refer to as Fleet Street. At the 2012 Press Awards the Daily Mail won eight prizes, including Newspaper of the Year with Mail Online named best web site.

FWA Q&A: Barry Flatman

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BARRY FLATMAN, taking a trip along memory lane, on being called Colin…Chairman Ken going down…and a Big Apple hair-dryer from Fergie

Your first ever job in journalism?
Covering Hayes in the Isthmian League for the Middlesex Advertiser and Gazette. I started on the Monday and the following evening went to pre-season training. An extremely tall and muscular teenager in a woolly hat, who appeared to have been working on a building site all day, turned up to sign. His name was Cyrille Regis.

Have you ever worked in a profession other than journalism?
In between leaving school and going to college, I worked in a builders’ merchants. I realised it probably wasn’t my true vocation in life when somebody told me to go to stock-take the gravel.

Most memorable match?
It does rather date me, but the 1975 FA Cup Final. Being a Fulham man the memories are not particularly joyful and, unfairly I think now, a picture always forms in my mind of goalkeeper Peter Mellor almost waving the West Ham forwards through like a policeman directing traffic.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
The night I was as Luton v Millwall [in 1985] when the rioting away fans ran onto the pitch and started hurling turf and anything else they could rip up at the press box where I and several other intrepid reporters were desperately trying to file copy down telephones. Perhaps it might have elicited a medal for bravery whilst under fire. Either that, or a moment in the Stamford Bridge foyer. Chelsea had just been relegated and their then chairman, Ken Bates, fancied purging a bit of malice on the gathered press corps. “Going back to your council houses then?,” asked Chairman Ken as he got into the lift. “Going down, Ken?” replied Joe Lovejoy, then of the Mail on Sunday just before the lift doors closed.

Best stadium?
Having primarily covered tennis for the last couple of decades, I have never experienced the luxury of the Emirates or the Etihad. Thinking back to my football writing days, for atmosphere it was hard to beat a big European night at White Hart Lane, but for sheer magnitude the Nou Camp (or Camp Nou if you like) is some place.

…and the worst?
These days I figure well down the pecking order of the Sunday Times’ match-list when there is no tennis and I am sent to football. I always cringe when I’m told the destination is Crystal Palace. Has that press box been updated since the days of Big Mal? Birmingham City is also pretty awful and so is Portsmouth, but of course they are skint.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
It was back in the days of the Tandy and those two muffler connections we had to strap to a telephone receiver. In a fit of temper, when I could not get the things to work, I wound the elastic fastener so tight it snapped and was made to pay for a new pair by then Express sports editor Ken Lawrence.

Biggest mistake?
It happened just the other week during the US Open when Sir Alex Ferguson gate-crashed Andy Murray’s press conference with Sir Sean Connery. I could be wrong, but he appeared to have had a glass or two of red wine and was very convivial. So I chanced a joke to him that it was the longest he’d spent talking to the press in years. At first he laughed but five minutes later in the corridor outside growled: “I’ll remember you.”

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
For a while Graham Taylor always used to call me Colin. “How are you Colin? Nice to see you Colin. No, you cannot talk to that player Colin.” When I later pointed out the error to him, thinking he was having a Trigger-like problem from Only Fools and Horses (Rodney always being called Dave) he admitted to mixing me up with Colin Gibson [ex-Daily Telegraph football correspondent].

Most media friendly manager?
Tough one this because two stand out. Back in the day, you just couldn’t beat Jim Smith. Always helpful, regularly comical and more often than not an invitation into his office afterwards for a glass of something. The late Ray Harford was also a top bloke; he didn’t suffer fools but was always totally honest which couldn’t be said for some of his contemporaries.

Best ever player?
As a kid I used to love watching Rodney Marsh play, George Best was somebody really special and nobody, but nobody had the class of Bobby Moore. In a working capacity, the most naturally talented player I have regularly written about would have to be Gazza.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Barcelona of the current day, and Brazil of 1970.

Best pre-match grub?
I don’t know about pre-match but you couldn’t beat the scones with jam and occasionally cream they used to serve during half-time at Craven Cottage.

Best meal had on your travels?
In terms of magnificent setting then it’s Doyles On The Beach, across the harbour from Sydney. But for great food then I make it a tie between Santopadres in Rome and Smith and Wollensky in New York.

…and the worst?
Now I like Chinese food in Britain. But in the Press Restaurant in Shanghai a few years back they served up things I wouldn’t feed to the dog that always used to chase me on my paper round.

Best hotel stayed in?
The Park Hyatt in Dubai. I walked into the suite I had been given and felt a compunction to ring reception to ask if there had been some kind of mistake…but I managed to fight off the urge.

…and the worst?
The Shinjuku Washington Hotel in Tokyo. Some might call the ability to touch all four walls whilst laying in bed – homely but I drew the line at pillows that seemed to be filled with pebbles.

Favourite football writer?
In terms of dedication to duty and being well informed then I don’t think you can beat Henry Winter of the Daily Telegraph. Of the younger breed I go for Tim Rich of The Guardian or Sam Wallace on The Independent.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Mike Ingham (radio) and Martin Tyler (TV). Both consummate professionals and very nice blokes in the bargain.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
In tennis the press are still regarded as part of the sport rather than aliens. We are allowed to mix with the players and are therefore on first name terms with megastars like Nadal, Federer and Murray. I appreciate it is asking the impossible in today’s football but it would be a reversion to the way things were back in my days of football scuffling. I don’t expect perpetually open doors to the press at training grounds or players’ lounges but football writers should be not be regarded as a huge threat.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
Being at the Ryder Cup when Europe made that astonishing comeback or watching Usain Bolt win gold.

Last book read?
Reelin’ In The Years by Mark Radcliffe…a thoroughly entertaining read for somebody of my advanced age who has always liked music but admits to being completely non-plussed when somebody called Example entered the Fulham press room.

Favourite current TV programme?
Much to my family’s dismay, whenever at home I tend to get engrossed with Sunday Supplement. Then I get annoyed at Sky Sports for not having a tennis chat programme so I could pick up the same fees.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
The match programme from Aston Villa beating Bayern Munich in the 1982 European Cup final signed by all the players. They were the good old days when the press were allowed to go out and celebrate with those who did it on the pitch.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Honestly, I would struggle to advise any youngster wanting to come into the football media world on the ground floor when I see so many hugely talented and experienced writers being thrown out of the top storey because newspapers are trying to save money and see such professionals as dispensable.

Barry Flatman is the Sunday Times’ Tennis Correspondent and has been on the tennis tour for 20 years. Before that he was a football scuffler for the Daily Express. He decided to give up front-line football reporting because “I got pissed off with George Graham being so unhelpful and the likes of Eric Hall and Jerome Anderson telling me I couldn’t speak to their players because the Sun paid them more money.”

CONFESSIONS OF THE FOOTBALL WRITERS

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www.footballwriters.co.uk is one year old next week. We take a look back at some of the revelations in the popular Q&A section.

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

THE IDEA was to learn more about the football writers who spend their lives searching for stories that players, clubs and administrators would rather not be made public.

We have tried to lift the veil a little on those whose duty it is, lap-top and wi-fi permitting, to give readers their daily fix of news, match reports and columns.

Her Majesty’s working press, as we are called (by ourselves) are, of course, strictly neutral when it comes to reporting. To the extent many members of the Football Writers’ Association use their journalistic skills to disguise which team they support. John Cross of the Daily Mirror was giving nothing away, as four answers from his Q&A confirm:

Most media friendly manager?
Arsene Wenger. Never dodges a question, has always been respectful. A special mention for Sammy Lee and the late, great George Armstrong. Two gems. George Armstrong would give me a lift home after Arsenal reserve games!

Best ever player?
Thierry Henry gets my vote as player seen/covered live. We also forget how good Cesc Fabregas is.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Arsenal – Invincibles; Spain – glorious to watch

Best pre-match grub?
Arsenal – fantastic food!

Laura Williamson of the Daily Mail gave us a clue about her allegiance with the one moment she would put on a DVD. She said: “Kevin Donovan’s goal for Grimsby Town against Northampton Town at Wembley in 1998, which took the Mariners back up to the old Division One. I had a dismal haircut and my face painted in black and white stripes, but they were certainly good times.”

They would be even better, Laura, if you were to send me a photo of your dodgy barnet and stripey face, which I promise would not be put on the site – you know you can trust me.

Laura’s Daily Mail colleague, football news correspondent Neil Ashton, gave footballwriters.co.uk an exclusive about his finest playing achievement. Ashton revealed: “It was when Steve Coppell turned to me and said: ‘You’re on’ in Geoff Thomas’s benefit game at the Colosseum between Crystal Palace and Manchester United in 2006.

“To play in the same team as my boyhood heroes – Geoff, Mark Bright, Ian Wright and Andy Gray and to play centre-half against Mark Hughes – was something I didn’t imagine could ever happen.

“Shaun Custis from the Sun was on the phone the next day and he said: ‘Right, you’ve got two minutes to tell me everything and then I never want to hear another word about it again.’

“Somehow I forgot to tell him I had clapped the Palace supporters in the Holmesdale Road when I walked off the pitch – unfortunately for me it has now become part of Matt Lawton’s entertaining dinner party stories.”

OK Matt, table for eight next Sunday evening? The after-dinner speaker taken care of.

Like Ashton, there is every reason to suspect The Guardian’s Dominic Fifield is also a Crystal Palace supporter. In Fifield’s view “Zinedine Zidane just edges out Vince Hilaire” as the best player he’s ever seen. Who’s third, Dom? Gerry Queen or Lionel Messi?

Football writers appear regularly on television these days and have become mini (in some cases mega or micro) celebrities. Yet as freelance Sam Pilger, who wrote the book Manchester United’s Best XI revealed, we can still be mistaken for someone else. In Pilger’s case it was Ryan Giggs and he got his retaliation in first when he told us: “As ridiculous as it sounds, I took part in a penalty shootout challenge against Peter Shilton on Hackney Marshes several years ago. I overheard someone say: ‘Is that Ryan Giggs?’

“As I said, ridiculous. More realistically, someone once asked if I was the former Leicester and Spurs American goalkeeper Kasey Keller.”

Daniel Taylor, The Guardian’s football correspondent, went one better and inadvertently mistook himself for a Manchester City goalscorer.

Taylor confessed: “I’d like to think the copytakers were to blame but, freelancing in pre-Guardian days, my match report of a Manchester City game for The Sun began with the words ‘Daniel Taylor scored a last-minute winner . . .’

“Clearly, it should have been Gareth Taylor. Though I’d argue that we had a similar first touch.”

You may struggle to find a seconder for that, Danny.

The Sun’s Neil Custis has built up a reputation as one of the best news reporters in Manchester and rarely gets a story wrong. But in the FWA confessional box, Custis came clean about the mother of all mistaken identities.

He said: “I thought I was talking to Kevin Francis from the Daily Star on the phone when in fact it was Kevin Francis, a man mountain of a striker for Stockport County. It is fair to say their builds and lifestyle are contrasting (No problem with a seconder there, Neil – Ed) so when Kevin told me the delay of two months in ringing me back was because he had been teaching kids football in the Caribbean, you can imagine my response.

“It was: ‘F*** off, you’re having a laugh, aren’t you? How the hell can you teach kids football?’

“This continued for some time before the penny finally dropped on my side. I don’t think we ever spoke again.”

Rob Shepherd rarely does things by halves so it was no surprise that he said he has been a serial victim of mistaken identities. Shepherd said he has “frequently” been mistaken for other people. Are you sitting comfortably?

Start copy: “Morrisey, Quentin Tarantino (at a poolside bar in Antigua….and I strung the guy along for an hour), James May (once), Jeremy Clarkson (often), Bert Millichip (by a limo driver in Las Vegas), Eric Joyce MP (the other day) and Desperate Dan (even by my two sons).”

Shep may not shave with a blow-torch, but the hair dryer treatment was given to Shaun Custis, now The Sun’s chief football writer, when he “excitedly” told Sir Alex Ferguson that “I was a new football reporter on The People and looked forward to working with him.”

The feeling did not appear to be mutual. Custis, whose excitement soon turned to trepidation, said: “He replied that he hated the paper and everybody on it and that he would get me a job in Glasgow where his mate was the sports editor. He said if I didn’t take the job he would have nothing more to do with me and he’s pretty much stuck to his word.”

FWA members have been fortunate enough to dine in some of the world’s finest restaurants and Oliver Kay, The Times’ football correspondent, added a rare moment of romance to the site when he said: “The best meal on a work trip was probably at the River Café in Brooklyn. Fantastic food, but probably above all because I’d flown my wife out to join me in New York at the end of a pre-season trip. If I’d gone there with a group of journalists, we would only have ended up talking shop.”

Eat your heart out George Clooney.

But it is not all caviar and champagne, especially in parts of Eastern Europe. David Lacey, the former football correspondent of The Guardian, remembers a meal in Albania “where the steak came last in the 3.30 at Tirana.”

Ian Ridley, author and chairman of high-riding St Albans City (fifth in the Evo-Stik League Southern), said his worst ever meal was: “Probably in Poland. Glenn Hoddle said he had picked a team there because it was ‘horses for courses.’ David Lacey pointed out that in Poland, it was horses for main courses.”

Philippe Auclair, France Football’s correspondent in England, claimed the belief that you can never have a bad meal in his homeland is wide of the mark. “Try Auxerre’s sandwiches,” he said, making it sound more like a challenge than a recommendation. “They might change your views on French cuisine.”

FWA life member James Mossop probably wins the prize for the most unusual meal which surprisingly was also the best meal he’s had on his travels. He said: “The late Bobby Keetch once ordered peacock’s tongues for me in Paris. At least, he said that’s what they were.”
Auxerre’s dodgy sarnies suddenly appear more attractive.

Of course, it is not just the food that makes for a memorable meal – the company and table chat are as important. Cathal Dervan, sports editor of the Irish Sun, will never forget an evening in Holland with two English colleagues not known for holding back with their views.

Dervan said: “My most memorable meal is a visit to an Argentinean steak-house in Amsterdam before an England game against Holland when Rob Shepherd and Joe Lovejoy discussed the Falklands War at length. I was waiting for the chef to carve them up any minute.”

While football writers are paid to do what other people pay to do, most started with more humble jobs. Dave Kidd, The People’s chief sports writer, began his working career by “stacking shelves in Superdrug as a student.”

But Kidd was too good to be left on the shelves. He said he “rose through the ranks to be in charge of loo roll, nappies and sanitary products…power probably went to my head.”

The Sunday Mirror’s Matt Law was involved in newspapers from a young age. “I was a paperboy,” he said and with an eye for easy money “also once volunteered to clean the school for extra cash, but I was sacked for mopping the ceiling.”

James Ducker, the northern football correspondent of The Times, is unlikely to give up his day job. And if he does Robbie Williams has little to worry about. Recounting his most embarrassing moment, Ducker said: “I was working at the MEN [Manchester Evening News] when the news editor suggested I should ‘audition’ for Pop Stars, one of the predecessors to X-Factor, and write a story on it for the next day’s paper.

“I’ve the worst voice imaginable, so I was torn between trying to sing a notoriously tough ballad while giving the impression that I thought I was really good like a lot of lunatics on those shows do, or just doing something silly. In the end I did a chicken dance while singing Jingle Bells in front of Pete Waterman and Geri Halliwell. She didn’t even laugh. She just looked at me with complete contempt.”

Taxi for Ducker…

He added: “They later rang me up to request permission to use the ‘footage’ on the highlights package but, regrettably or thankfully, I’m not sure which, my one shot at stardom never aired.”

James, the vote was a unanimous “thankfully.”

Daily Mirror columnist Steve Anglesey also had a brush with the music world which ensured he was destined never to become Gordon Ramsay II. Anglesey said: “I worked as a chef in Manchester’s (in)famous Hacienda nightclub in the mid-1980s.

“I walked out one megabusy Saturday night when, after the manageress had left me alone for two hours so she could go dancing with her mates, she returned to tell me that Spear Of Destiny had complained their chips weren’t brown enough.”

The passion Lee Clayton, the Daily Mail’s head of sport, has for his job and profession came over in his Q&A when he remembered how he learned from one of the industry’s doyens during his early days. Talking about his favourite football writer, Clayton said: “Alex Montgomery was my chief football writer on The Sun and he wrote match reports that were about the football.

“It was a pleasure to sit next to him in press boxes and listen to him dictating live reports to copytakers with his soft Scottish voice. He taught a young and very raw junior a lot on those nights. He also had a dignity and a presence that all football correspondents should have (and many do).

“I do think there are some brilliant writers around now. And they all work for the Daily Mail. Well, most of them do. I’m very lucky to have an amazing team who can write with intelligence, insight and authority. There is an art to good match reporting on tight deadlines.”

Exciting as the job is, it is not without its dangers. We all have tales of lap-tops malfunctioning (and why is it ALWAYS on deadline?) but the Daily Telegraph’s Mark Ogden had a more sinister problem.

The one moment in football Oggie would like to have on a DVD would have been at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. He explained: “The guy who nicked my lap-top bag – lap-top still in it – outside a bar in Cape Town during the World Cup. Strictly speaking, not football, but he left me without a lap-top for the World Cup quarter-final between Germany and Argentina, so thanks for that.”

Guillem Balague, who does such a fine job on Sky Sports’ coverage of Spanish football, was the intended victim of two lap-top thieves in the middle of a radio broadcast, but forever the professional he stayed calm and carried on talking.

Balague said: “I was in Soho doing a live interview for Spanish radio, a show called El Larguero which has 1.3 million listeners. I was chatting to the presenter and the chairman of Real Madrid. I was on the phone referring to notes that were in my computer when two guys tried to snatch my lap-top. I ran away from them and was almost out of breath, still on air. I didn’t want to explain what was going on…”

And finally, Nigel Clarke of the Daily Express, a football writer who has multi-tasked by covering tennis, told of his biggest mistake. And in all honesty, they don’t really come much bigger.

The man known as Fonz tried to convince us that he did not have a happy day when he “walked into the ladies locker room at Wimbledon.”

Clarke’s intentions were entirely honourable and professional, of course. He said: “I was assisting an injured player who had turned her ankle, only to be confronted with about 10 naked tennis players, who stood their ground. Averted eyes and exited left very quickly.”

Hands up all who believe he (a) averted his eyes and (b) exited left very quickly.

I see no hands…

GERRARD NAMED AS FWA TRIBUTE HONOUREE

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Steven Gerrard has been named as the honouree at the FWA Tribute Award this year, which takes place at the Savoy hotel in London.

The accolade is given out to someone who has made an outstanding contribution to the national game and will be presented at the gala dinner on January 20.

The award was won by Paul Scholes and Gary Neville last year; the first time in which the award was won by two players.

Gerrard won the FWA footballer of the year award in 2009 after leading Liverpool to a second place finish in the Premier League in the 2008/09 season.

The England midfielder scored 24 goals for his club that season including seven in the UEFA Champions League before the Reds were knocked out by Chelsea in the quarter-finals.

After spending his whole career at Anfield the only domestic honour to evade Gerrard is a Premier League title.

Liverpool’s captain has three League Cup winners’ medals, two FA Cups and two Community Shields to his name along with one UEFA Cup.

Arguably his greatest honour as a club player came in Istanbul in 2005 where he led Liverpool to Champions League glory after a penalty shootout against AC Milan, despite being 3-0 down at half-time.

The 32-year-old has made 411 league appearances for Liverpool, while representing his country on 98 occasions and captaining England 23 times.

FWA Q&A: TOM HOPKINSON

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TOM HOPKINSON of the People on packing Hula Hoops and Hobs Nobs…the missing dentist’s chair…and no Kidding, looking like Ronaldo

Your first ever job in journalism?
I had three months on the Coalville, Ashby and Swadlincote Times but have always felt my first proper job was on the Romford Recorder. So many on Fleet Street got their breaks with the Recorder Series – it was and I’m sure still is a fantastic training ground – and I got mine when I replaced the man who replaced my People colleague, Dave Kidd. I’ll be for ever grateful to Peter Butcher, our sports editor, for showing me the ropes and making sure I had skin thick enough for what was to follow. He once read one of my intros to the rest of the office, turned to me, scowled and asked: “Are you proud of that?” “Less so now than I was five minutes ago,” I replied.

Have you ever worked in a profession other than journalism?
I did have a couple of short-term jobs after leaving college, the worst of which was undoubtedly packing Hula Hoops at the KP factory in Ashby-de-la-Zouch. One of the jobs there meant sitting at a conveyor belt watching thousands of crisps passing by, and I promise this is true, if there were any I deemed not round enough for public consumption I had to throw them in a bin. Or eat them. The salt on your clothes at the end of a shift was horrific and it was years before I could bring myself to eat a Hula Hoop again. Packing Chocolate HobNobs down the road at McVitie’s was much more enjoyable, albeit dangerous for someone with such a sweet tooth.

Most memorable match?
As a reporter, probably Tottenham’s victory over AC Milan at San Siro in February 2011. Great atmosphere, a really good game and then came the fireworks at the final whistle when Gennaro Gattuso, who’d been simmering all night, boiled over and butted Joe Jordan. We cleaned up in the mixed zone afterwards and then a big group of us rounded off the night with a very enjoyable meal at Picanha’s Churrascaria, a regular post-match haunt for players from both Milan sides. As a fan, Derby’s 3-3 draw with Sheffield Wednesday in the FA Cup in 1993. A thrilling match.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
It has already been done and I never tire of seeing it – Paul Gascoigne’s goal against Scotland during Euro ’96 and the celebration which followed. After the Asia Trophy final in Hong Kong in 2011, a bunch of us headed to Banana Joe’s on a pilgrimage to see the infamous dentist’s chair. Sadly, we couldn’t pay proper homage to Gazza, Teddy Sheringham and Co, because it’s no longer there.

Best stadium?
When it’s full, San Siro. Old-school grandeur.

…and the worst?
Fratton Park. Awful place to work.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
Still waiting for it.

Biggest mistake?
I was on ‘Andre Villas-Boas for Chelsea’ fairly early but, a few weeks after writing it, allowed myself to be convinced by a mate on another paper that Guus Hiddink was getting the job instead. We both filed for the Sunday that the Dutchman would be named later in the week; my paper ran it on the back, his didn’t use it at all. A couple of days on, AVB was confirmed. I was gutted, but learned a valuable lesson: trust yourself and your contacts.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
I wouldn’t say mistaken, but there was a time a few years ago when I was often told I looked like Adam Garcia, the actor, or Kelly Whatshisname, the journalist-hating frontman from Stereophonics. These days Dave Kidd’s the only person who tells me I’m a ringer for anyone. He regularly asks if I’ve met the Italian Tom Hopkinson yet – apparently he’s a journalist as well – and he’s adamant I look like Ronaldo. I’ve never bothered to ask which one, but assume he’s talking fat Brazilian rather than pretty-boy Portuguese.

Most media friendly manager?
Carlo Ancelotti and Roberto Martinez are gents. And I could listen to Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho all day.

Best ever player?
Igor Stimac. My hero. I remember watching him make Eric Cantona look very ordinary when Manchester United visited Derby for a midweek game in the 90s. And when I met him at the Euros this summer he couldn’t have been more charming, a real raconteur. He did me a great service by recording a video message for my Derby-supporting dad, wishing him a happy Father’s Day and good luck in the London to Brighton bike ride, both of which were on the following Sunday. Suffice it to say, it made my dad’s day … and didn’t cost a penny.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Sorry to be boring: Guardiola’s Barcelona and the 2010 World Cup-winning Spain side.

Best pre-match grub?
Arsenal. Although I’m convinced the portions are getting smaller.

Best meal had on your travels?
For the food and the setting, Cin Cin By The Sea in Barbados this summer will take some beating. Mark Irwin, Andy Mitten, Steve Anglesey and I spent the evening, erm, let’s call it debating, the merits of tactics blogs with the younger members of our party. We were on the island for the legends tournament, which wasn’t the worst trip I’ve been on. Perhaps the most memorable, though, was a night at the Bed Supper Club in Amsterdam with Rob Shepherd. Within four hours of landing the day before the pre-season Amsterdam Tournament kicked off, Shep and I had good Sunday hits in the bag from Jose Mourinho and Manuel Almunia, so we formed the advance party looking for food and drink. The daily boys rocked up a few hours later to find us lying on one of the beds, shoeless as per the requirements of the establishment, and with several empty plates and wine bottles scattered between us. I still chuckle about the looks on their faces as they surveyed the carnage before them.

…and the worst?
Let’s just say I’ve never found a pre-match meal at St Andrew’s particularly tasty. And I’m being very generous at that.

Best hotel stayed in?
For the room, The Savoy in Florence. Amazing hotel, beautiful city. For the views, the Libertas in Dubrovnik. Stunning.

…and the worst?
I’ve no idea what it was called but it was in Lyon on a Champions League trip covering Chelsea. I was an hour from the airport and an hour from the stadium, and I remember saying out loud as I opened the door to my room: “You’ve got to be ******* joking.” That was before I’d seen the dirty bed sheets, too.

Favourite football writer?
Tough question, because there are some seriously talented journalists throughout the ranks who I have big respect for. I don’t want to sit on the fence, though, so I’ll single out Matt Lawton, who’s perhaps the best all-rounder. I always enjoy his match reports and interviews, and he’s a very good story-getter as well.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Five Live’s John Murray.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
I’m sure this will be the answer most have given but increase the chances to mingle with players, managers and staff at training centres. A bit of chat and banter, football-related or otherwise, will always improve things because it humanises both sides a bit more and creates personal relationships. Spurs Lodge was always good for that but Tottenham’s new training ground, as impressive as it is, has taken it away.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
A Boxing Day Ashes Test at the MCG. In the stands with the Barmy Army rather than in the press box. That said, I’m not sure I’ll ever cover or attend a better event than Hatton-Mayweather in Las Vegas in 2007. What a weekend that was.

Last book read?
I’m not an avid reader of sports books but I’ve just polished off two back-to-back. ‘Racing Through The Dark – The Fall and Rise of David Millar’ is a really good read and, before that, ‘A Life Too Short – The Tragedy of Robert Enke’. It’s heart-breaking, but everyone should force themselves to pick it up and see it through to the end. An incredible book.

Favourite current TV programme?
Curb Your Enthusiasm is genius and I’m going to say Friends as well because you can still always find a rerun. I love HBO shows like The Sopranos, Generation Kill, Entourage and The Wire, and I’m looking forward to the second season of Homeland. I do occasionally get out.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
I’ve never really been a collector of memorabilia, but I do still have a couple of trophies from my younger days. Nearly 20 years ago, I was voted Players’ Player of the Year for a half-decent Ratby & Groby Under-16s side and I think I’m right in saying Emile Heskey won the club’s Under-15s award that year as well. Terrific footballers, both.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Enjoy the highs and try to learn from the lows because there will be plenty of both. Work hard but keep a healthy balance with the rest of your life. And bring a back-up plan with you, just in case.

TRIGGS – FOOTBALL’S MOST FAMOUS DOG – TELLS ALL ABOUT HER OWNER

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“Dogs don’t talk s***” – Roy Keane

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

IT IS rare that a book, especially a football book, makes you laugh out loud. A private chuckle, yes, but an audible reaction to something you are reading is unusual, not to mention a little embarrassing if you are on a train, as I was.

The girl sitting next to me was intrigued after I completed my laugh-out-loud hat-trick. “What are you reading? It seems very funny.”

“It’s Triggs, the autobiography of Roy Keane’s dog. Roy was the captain of Manchester United and the Republic of Ireland,” I replied, hoping if not believing my answer would somehow justify my behaviour. I am certain if the train had not been so crowded the girl would have moved away.

A book by a talking dog is either going to be as funny as root canal treatment or a gem. Paul Howard has managed to achieve the latter, giving us a telling insight to a person few outside his immediately family really know. Gary Neville tells the story of when he changed his mobile number he sent it to those in his contacts and received a text back from Keane saying “why the **** are you telling me?” Keano doesn’t do friends, not the human variety anyway.

Keane defends his privacy in the way he protected the ball, once having to be dragged away from someone who took a photo of him and one of his children in a hotel swimming pool while on holiday. Yet while he guards his family with military precision and care, he is happy – okay, willing – to be photographed with man’s best friend.

The humour is often subtle and delicately handled, as it had to be. We are, after all, talking about a speaking dog. Howard has certainly done his homework, interviewing people close – well as close as Keane allows – to the former midfielder, enabling Triggs to observe her (yes, Triggs is a she) owner’s reactions to the many controversial incidents during his career. Reality and supposition may be intertwined but the conversations between Keane and Triggs are far more fascinating and funny than the concept of a man talking to his dog might initially appear.

Howard was a sports writer for the Sunday Tribune in Ireland where he wrote a satirical column based on schools rugby. Blackrock College, Ireland’s equivalent of Eton, is nicknamed Rock and Howard invented a character called Ross O’Carroll-Kelly – ROCK. While Howard admits the essentially local humour would not travel outside of Ireland, the books based on ROCK are set to top the million mark in the Republic with stage plays underlining the success of the novels.

“I took a two-year sabbatical but never went back,” said Howard, a former Irish Sports Journalist of the Year. “The newspaper I took a sabbatical from no longer exists. I thought I’d be in journalism forever but every year it seems another paper closes.”

The seeds for the book were sewn during the 2002 World Cup when Keane was sent home from Ireland’s training base in Saipan after the mother of all rows with manager Mick McCarthy. “I was in my hotel room in Japan watching Ireland’s greatest player, possibly ever, walking a labrador down a lane eight time zones away,” said Howard. “It was an iconic image and I feel Roy knew this. There was a defiance about him walking his dog. Most people in the news for the wrong reasons draw the curtains and stay in. Keane arrived home from the Far East and immediately took Triggs for a walk. The gates opened and the pair parted this shoal of paparazzi who were waiting outside.”

Howard had the idea of “what if Triggs was the boss and Roy was the servant?” He initially wrote some conversations between the pair, but put the scheme on hold for two years before selling the idea to a publisher and completing the manuscript.

“For me the humour was in the language. What if footballers, when they talk to each other, spoke exactly the same way they do in front of the television cameras? I challenged myself to write as many football cliches as I could, not ‘over the moon’ or ‘sick as a parrot’ stuff but things like ‘fantastically well’ and ‘ever so well.’ I mean, no young, working class hetrosexual male would ever say ‘ever so well.’ Unless you are a professional footballer.”

Keane comes out of the book ever so well and Howard said: “I am sympathetic to Roy who was, along with Brian O’Driscoll and Sonia O’Sullivan, one of the three most compelling Irish sports personalities of his generation.”

The difference is, Ireland’s rugby captain and the 1995 World Championships 5,000m gold medallist were more open to and with the media.

Recent reports of her death – GrrrRIP ran one headline – were vastly exaggerated and through Triggs the book provides an insight to Keane with a humour that very rarely fails to hit the button. Here are Triggs’ thoughts on Wayne Rooney:

I’ve always regarded professional footballers as, quite frankly, an intellectually inferior breed. This is a world, remember, in which David James is considered an intellectual because he begins sentences with the word ‘ironically’ instead of the word ‘obviously.’

A memory suddenly pops up at me from out of the recent past. It was one afternoon in Roy’s last full season as a Manchester United player and he telephoned Wayne Rooney at home to talk about some team matter or other.

“Can you phone me back later?” Wayne asked him. “It’s just that I’m reading at the moment.”

I remember the surprised smile that was suddenly slashed across Roy’s face. “What are you reading?” he wondered, always happy to hear about a team-mate making the effort to improve his mind.

“Ceefax,” came the reply.

I always liked Wayne. He was easy company and a great lover of dogs. And anyone expecting a cheap joke here about hookers, young or old, is going to be disappointed. He was, as they say in the parlance, a smashing lad and a top, top player. Yet whenever I think about Wayne, I always think of his mind turning over at the same rate it takes for those teletext pages to refresh themselves.

How did Triggs’ name come about? From Trigger in Only Fools And Horses which also happened to be Jason McAteer’s nickname but the connection is not with the player who famously said he’d rather buy a Bob The Builder CD than Roy Keane’s autobiography. Howard said: “Brian Clough had a labrador called Del Boy which he occasionally brought to training when Roy was with Nottingham Forest. I think Triggs was a compliment to Clough.”

Has Howard had any feedback from Keane? “No.”

Triggs – the autobiography of Roy Keane’s dog by Paul Howard (Orion Books, £9.99).

Brian Woolnough funeral

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The funeral of Daily Star Chief Sports Writer Brian Woolnough will take place at Christ Church, Esher, on Thursday, October 4, at 2pm followed by a celebration of Brian’s life at Sandown Park Racecourse. All are welcome.

The family request no flowers, but donations can be sent to the Bobby Moore Fund for Cancer Research UK, or the Sam Beare Hospice in Weybridge, Surrey.

BRIAN WOOLNOUGH 1948 – 2012

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A giant of our profession who became part of our Sunday mornings

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

Brian Woolnough, possibly the most famous face in football writing, died today aged 63.

Wooly, as he was known, started on the Esher News, moving to the Evening Post in Hemel Hempstead before starting a 27-year career with The Sun where he became chief football writer. In 2001 he moved to the Daily Star as a sports columnist but became well known to the football world through talkSPORT and Sky Sports where he initially hosted Hold The Back Page in 1994 and, more recently, the Sunday Supplement.

As a football writer Woolnough became one of the first “scufflers”, digging for news and some would say no one has done it better. Popular among colleagues even on rival newspapers, he would greet us with his trademark: “My dear old thing…” At some ungodly hour in the morning at an airport, Woolnough would somehow be in a good mood, unique among Fleet Street’s bleary eyed finest. A long-standing member of the Football Writers’ Association, Wooly seemed incapable of not smiling.

His appearance could be deceptive and Martin Lipton, the Daily Mirror’s football correspondent, said: “When I first met Brian which was 20-odd years ago, I couldn’t believe that this elegant, well-spoken man was actually the chief football writer of The Sun. As I got to know Brian I realised he was a terrific journalist, a fantastic bloke and a wonderful friend for many years.

“We spent a lot of time together in a lot of places. Nobody loved cricket more than Brian, which was his passion. He was so excited when England won the Ashes. He had a great love of life and sport.

“He was a trialblazer in many ways. Apart from being one of the first scufflers, he became the master of the back page story. Then he made the move from the written media to broadcasting where he became such a familiar face all over the country. He became part of our Sunday mornings.

“People looked up to him, he was a proper sports journalist and a proper bloke. He was the life and soul of trips.”

Daily Express football correspondent Mick Dennis, who worked alongside Woolnough at The Sun for a spell, said: “At The Sun Brian was a story-getter and those in the business realise that is the hardest skill. When he developed his second career in broadcasting he made it look very easy.

“What impressed me was that the Sunday Supplement, which he hosted initially with Jimmy Hill…he made sure the show was never all about him. He facilitated football conversations and the programme became a must-watch for fans across the country. He mastered two branches of our profession like nobody else has done.”

Daily Telegraph football correspondent Henry Winter remembers Woolnough the family man as much as Woolnough the football writer. Winter said: “Brian was a big family man. We’d be walking through the dark streets in some far flung place and he’d be talking with such pride about what his sons and how they were doing at university. That’s my abiding memory of Brian. He’d ask how my kids were doing, he was very selfless like that. We’d be at Heathrow at six in the morning clutching all the first editions and the first thing he’d ask is: ‘How the family?’

“He was a high-class scuffler. What I particularly liked about Brian the journalist is that he really cared about the game. He understood how much it meant to people and he’d never belittle it. At the same time he was never so in awe of football people that he wouldn’t ask the hardest question, but he’d do it in such a caring way. That’s why, in his later years, he proved such a great presenter on Sky Sports. He was a natural scuffler and a natural broadcaster.

“He knew exactly what he wanted to say and despite having a producer screaming in his ear, he was always so relaxed. I’d put him up with the top broadcasters that football television has seen.”

Neil Ashton, the football news correspondent of the Daily Mail, spoke of the passion Woolnough had for his job. Ashton said: “He was proud to be in the position he had and rightly so. Brian had enormous pride in whatever he did and had an incredible passion for the job. When I started out he was a very authoritative figure in the industry, his presence almost statesman-like whether he was in the press box, a media conference or a bar. As a young journalist I knew that Brian was more old school and I wasn’t just going to walk in and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Brian Woolnough. Respect had to be earned.”

Ashton has been hosting the Sunday Supplement in recent weeks and said: “Whenever I was on the show with Brian, I watched it back to learn. He always kept the three guests involved in the chat, no one was ever isolated. While I was asked to fill in on the short term, whoever does the job permanently is following someone with immense dignity.”

Mark Irwin, football correspondent of The Sun, recalls that when he was with the Daily Mirror, the football writer he was most likely to receive a late night call about when the first editions dropped was Woolnough. “If he had a story, you knew there was something in it,” said Irwin.

“When I joined The Sun he was chief football writer and everyone looked up to him. He was such a nice fellow, not the Big I Am. To survive for 27 years at The Sun tells you something about Brian. When he got a story, people took note.

“He was also the first of the new TV generation and opened the door for the rest of us, enabling others to cross over from print to broadcasting.”

Patrick Barclay, columnist for the Independent on Sunday and Evening Standard, said: “As a journalist I think he was a giant in our profession. He was our answer to Robin Day or Jeremy Paxman. He would ask the question that other journalists hoped someone else would ask. It is not easy to ask hard questions of our heroes and Brian never shirked it. This had much to do with his genuine love of the England team.

“While professionally he never suffered fools, as a person he was much softer, very kind and considerate. On Sunday Supplement he would, if necessary, gently guide guests away from blunders as much has he could, though it never stopped him from ridiculing me if he thought I’d gone too far and I loved him for that.

“I got to know Brian during the 1984 European Championship, the summer when John Barnes scored his famous goal in Brazil. The leading sports commentators were still in South America as Euro 84 got under way. Brian and I plus a couple of others constituted the English press corps, that’s how much things have changed. At one stage the entire press pack was travelling around in one car armed with a Michelin guide and a piece of paper on which to write our daily 300-word report.

“Brian then went on to master the art of television, becoming a national figure in the football community. He became probably as good a broadcaster as he was journalist, which is saying something.

“Most importantly, he was a good man and a great family man. It is sad he has been denied what would have been a long and happy retirement with his family.”

Daily Star sports editor Howard Wheatcroft said: “Brian was the doyen of his generation of sports journalists and had been the senior figure in football journalism for a long, long time. To my mind he also paved the way for journalists being called upon as pundits.

“When the era of rolling sports news began, such was his standing that he was in demand from virtually day one – and up until the end he was still the best of the lot.

He was a big man in many ways, but he was never arrogant and had an incredible appetite for hard work.”

It is only three months since the death of the Daily Star’s chief football writer Danny Fullbrook at the age of 40, also from cancer, while former FWA chairman Dennis Signy died earlier this year.

In Memoriam: Brian Woolnough

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By ANDY DUNN, FWA Chairman

WE knew this day was coming – but it makes it no easier. Sports journalism has lost a giant of a man.
Brian Woolnough was simply the foremost football reporter of his generation.

When we pay tribute, we should retire the centre seat of the front row at every England press conference.

No journalist was as passionate about England as Wooly. No journalist demanded more from England managers and players than Wooly.

He was an inspiration to us all. And a friend to us all.

A glass of red wine, a bowl of pasta, big day tomorrow. How many times have we heard that over the last three decades? How sad that we will never hear it again.

Brian was a brilliant print journalist. You do not hold down the job as chief football writer on The Sun – and then progress to be Chief Sports Writer of the Daily Star – without being at the very top of your profession.

And he led the way in giving his fellow scribes a bigger platform.

Effortlessly, he became an accomplished broadcaster – both on television and radio. And his wonderful manner has soothed the nerves of countless writers fortunate to appear alongside him on, first, Hold The Back Page, and then, the Sunday Supplement.

He became the voice of our business.

Wooly fought his battle against cancer with a bravery – and, indeed, humour – that amazed us all. And he loved the game – and our game – until his final moments. That passion never died.

And nor will his memory.

RIP Wooly.