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My Week: Nick Szczepanik

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NICK SZCZEPANIK on playing with Pele…fish on the field…and trying to be banned by a club (and failing)

Monday April 2
The Guardian asked me for a 700-word obituary of Giorgio Chinaglia, the former Lazio and New York Cosmos goalscorer, for their website. Before long, I was asking if I could go up to 1,000 words – with reasonable optimism as, let’s face it, you’re in trouble if a website tells you they’re short of space – after delving into Chinaglia’s fascinating character and career. He went from Tuscany to the USA via Swansea and Lazio, and ended up playing with Pele. Or, as he put it with characteristic modesty, Pele played with him.

He was arguably the first European star to move to the US at the height of his powers rather than when past his best, and he had the arrogance and self-belief to succeed anywhere. I remembered that I’d once seen him play and, being a sad statto who never throws anything away, even managed to dig out the programme: California Surf v New York Cosmos at the Anaheim Stadium, May 1980. The Cosmos won 4-1 without breaking sweat, if I remember correctly, and the teamsheet makes it clear why – alongside Chinaglia in their team were Franz Beckenbauer and Johan Neeskens, while the Surf were a collection of former Crystal Palace and Charlton reserves.

Needless to say, the Chinaglia piece had to be turned round quickly, but I’m also usually working at a more leisurely pace on some obits in advance so that they’re ready to go when the subject sees the grim reaper holding up his number on the touchline. In football terms, that means older or retired managers and ex-players. I read an uncredited obituary of Sir Bobby Robson that seemed familiar and eventually realised that it was because I’d written most of it, back in the 1990s.

What makes the process easier and more interesting these days is the availability of video of a subject on YouTube, either in action or being interviewed. Somewhere out there in cyberspace I found a clip of Bert Williams MBE, the former Wolverhampton Wanderers and England goalkeeper, delivering an anecdote about a man and his son approaching him in the street a few years ago, when he was well into his 70s. The man said: “Look son, it’s Bert Williams, goalie for the Wolves.” The son looked him up and down and replied: “No wonder they’re bottom of the league.”

The daughter of a distinguished former manager is the friend of a friend, and I needed some information about her dad for a stock obit, so I called her up. I thought I was being very subtle, explaining that I was doing ‘a profile’ of him, but she caught on immediately. “An obituary, is it?” she said. She was fine about it. As she said at the time, it’s better to get it right while a relative is still alive and kicking than open the paper after their death and find that an obituary contains factual errors.

Being young and fit doesn’t make you invulnerable, of course, as the cases of Fabrice Muamba and, tragically, Gary Speed, have shown. Nobody saw Speed’s death coming, but obituaries are sometimes prepared of current athletes when they experience health scares. The majority of them will probably recover fully and outlive me by many years, but although I won’t get to see the obit in print, at least the money is paid up front. I began working on one of those last week – the story of a 31-year-old international with a major foreign club who is in hospital for the second time in a year.

Tuesday April 3
Man cannot live by football alone, especially if he’s freelance. As some people know, I’m a fan of some American sports, and the baseball season got under way in earnest on Wednesday when my team, the Miami Marlins, hosted the World Series champion St Louis Cardinals in the first regular season game in their new ballpark (UK English in future – Ed).

A paper was interested in the story, but the angle they liked was not the team’s name change (from Florida to Miami), their new uniforms (no longer an elegant teal, silver and black but a hideous blend of orange, lemon and blue) or their acquisitions of shortstop Jose Reyes, pitchers Mark Buehrle and Heath Bell and colourful manager Ozzie Guillen. No, it was the two 20-foot-long fish tanks behind home plate in the new $515m stadium. Animal rights protesters are worried that the hundred or so tropical fish will be disturbed by vibrations from a cheering capacity crowd (not previously much of a danger at Marlins home games) reacting to the team hitting a home run (ditto).

A 97mph fastball is no problem, according to the manufacturers, who have tested the tanks to destruction, but that didn’t stop a player revealing that the pros’ concern, as ever, is more with optimum field conditions than animal welfare After a pre-season friendly, Nick Swisher of the visiting New York Yankees said: “If those things broke, it would be the worst thing ever. Can you imagine all those fish on the field?”

Wed Apr 4
A friend from Spain, a blogger and broadcaster, was in town for a few days’ holiday so I took him along to Gus Poyet’s press conference ahead of Brighton’s Good Friday trip to Burnley. He’s also been a good source of knowledge of football in Madrid as well as a help if I need some translation from Marca or ABC that’s more accurate than my somewhat basic Spanish. He wanted a few words about Vicente, Brighton’s ex-Valencia playmaker, for a radio piece, and I was sure it would be okay.

Gus and Paul Camillin, the press officer, were as helpful as always and the tea and bacon rolls were as welcome as ever first thing in the morning. Brighton have followed the trend of early-morning press calls set originally, I think, by Iain Dowie at Crystal Palace, although few clubs have gone to his extreme of beginning at 8am. These are fine for local journos, but can be inconvenient for those coming from farther afield.

A few years ago Gordon Strachan held a Southampton pre-FA Cup semi-final presser at 9am at their training ground on the edge of the New Forest. That was bad enough for me, meaning as it did a 6am start so that I could negotiate the 20-plus roundabouts along the A27, one of the worst roads in England, but even worse for colleagues who lived north of London. And if anyone wonders why Norwich stories in the dailies are few and far between, their 9am sessions at the far end of the A11 could be something to do with it.

Thursday Apr 5
I’ll be spending part of this year’s close season guest-editing a free magazine called Sussex Sport while regular editor Mike Donovan finishes off a couple of books. On Thursday we had a meeting at the design studio where everything is put together, discussing feature ideas for the pre-Olympics edition and the August issue.

At this level, editing seems to involve writing a lot of stuff yourself rather than commissioning copy from various minions, and before long I seemed to have agreed to interview Hastings-born Gareth Barry ahead of the European Championship, Brighton fan Norman [Fatboy Slim] Cook in advance of his summer gigs at the club’s Amex Stadium, and one of the Olympic torch carriers who will be pounding the streets of Worthing carrying a burning metal brassiere. Sorry, brazier.

After that the ideas took on an Alan Partridgesque air. Not exactly monkey tennis, but I may have suggested interviewing a statue of Steve Ovett in case we couldn’t get the man himself. Ovett statue “no comment” on Seb Coe’s handling of the Olympics – Sussex Sport exclusive!

The August issue might be more problematical. Golf course reviews are a regular feature of the magazine, but I confess to having little interest in an activity that requires the wearing of alarmingly-patterned trousers. I tentatively offered the Brighton seafront Crazy Golf, or Roedean pitch and putt – chiefly for its 19th hole, the Roedean cafe, which does a very fine toms on toast, with clifftop views of the English Channel thrown in for nothing.

Friday Apr 6
Reading v Leeds – with refreshments in the Madejski Stadium press room supplied by Waitrose, the club’s shirt sponsor. I wonder if they do requests? There are quite few of their products I’d quite like to try without paying some of the highest prices on the high street, so maybe if I phone ahead next time I’m working there, the club can arrange to have some tortigli with spicy pork ragu waiting alongside the pasties. That said, the goat’s cheese and roasted tomato pasta salad on Friday went down a treat.

Reading had to work hard to win despite the fact that Leeds played all but 13 minutes of the game with ten men – and it could have been nine, with Danny Pugh lucky to stay on after two extremely robust challenges. Afterwards Neil Warnock came in and made the extraordinary suggestion that Leeds would have to make Elland Road as intimidating as the MadStad. Well, of course: supporters, players and officials visiting Reading tremble at the very thought of that bearpit by the M4, going in terror of rampaging Royals fans baying for blood. I thought about requesting an escort of security guards to get me back safely to my car, which I fully expected to find a burnt-out shell up on piles of bricks. I think the point he was trying to make was that Reading players put pressure on referees, which, coming from a Leeds manager, will cause older readers of this site to ponder a redefinition of the concept of irony.

Colin, as he’s known, may not be the most popular manager with all of his his peers, but most of us like him because his press conferences are usually better than the matches. However, I had an uncomfortable moment with him at the Indy sports desk Christmas lunch in 2010, when we were on the same quiz team. “Competitive” doesn’t really do him justice, and although we won, I got a question wrong that put our victory in the balance. The look he gave me suggested that I’d come pretty close to doing laps of the QPR training ground the next morning.

Saturday April 7
It felt weird not to be at a game on a Saturday, but the movement of fixtures to other days left only two games in the Barclays Premier League and Championship in the south. It was actually quite a pleasant change to miss a Southampton v Portsmouth game. I must have seen every battle between the Scummers and Skates since Portsmouth reached the Barclays Premier League in 2003, and I’ve already made my feelings about the A27 abundantly clear.

Even from a distance of 64 miles – I know exactly how far it is because I’ve written it on so many expenses forms – I learned that Southampton had refused a press pass request from Neil Allen, the chief football writer of The News in Portsmouth, although his colleagues Jordan Cross and Steve Wilson were allowed in. I heard that the reason given was that the press box was full – something I don’t think I’ve ever seen at St Mary’s.

Neil tweeted about it, and was met with a storm of abuse from Saints fans, which was uncalled-for. Like any good football writer on a local paper, Neil has a close working relationship with the club he covers, but he’s not a Portsmouth fan, and has been banned by the club on more than one occasion. As he tweeted, it’s the first time he’s been banned by an away club. But since the Daily Echo, the Southampton local paper, has been banned from St Mary’s and the Saints’ training ground for many months, perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised.

Confession time: I once tried to get banned by a club that I felt I’d covered more than enough, and began a match report with an intro that was honest and accurate but which I was sure would get up the nose of its famously touchy chairman. I opened the paper the next day to find that, to my horror, the intro had been re-written. Apparently the sub-editor had thought he was doing me a favour and keeping me out of trouble. Thanks for nothing …

Sport’s approach to press relations in the UK can be a strange one. I told some American friends about the arcane dispute that led writers from national papers to be refused press facilities at grounds in the first week of this season and they were incredulous. Apart from the rights and wrongs of any situation, why, they wondered, would any business turn away all that free publicity?

Sunday April 8
An unusually relaxing start to a Sunday with no Monday report to write. Brighton v Reading on Tuesday is my next assignment. Two different papers asked me to cover it. First come, first served and I’m working for the Independent. I’m selfishly hoping that one, if not both, of these teams are promoted to increase the quota of southern clubs in the Barclays Premier League, and that QPR can somehow cling onto their status – although decisions such as the penalty and red card in their defeat by Manchester United won’t help.

Whatever Fergie says, that was an Old Trafford decision, but even on lesser stages than the Library of Dreams, it’s true that, as the pundits say, all the breaks go against you when you’re struggling. That was brought home to me on Sunday morning during my weekly attempt to play the beautiful game rather than write about it. Despite my team’s scintillating performance, we lost to a cruel deflection and a bad decision. And a defensive lapse. And another cruel deflection. And then some poor marking. But generally we were robbed.

Nick Szczepanik

Follow me on Twitter @NickSzczepanik

My Week: Dan Johnson

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Dan Johnson Premier LeagueDan Johnson, Premier League Director of Communications on a ‘spy’ at a Premier League meeting…banning journalists…and an Arsenal/Spurs groundshare

Part of the continued appeal of working in football and the media is the varied nature of the issues and never quite knowing what each day is going to bring. It keeps life interesting, challenging and makes sure you’re always on your toes. I have been at the Premier League for 11 years now and plenty of things have changed, but that buzz you get from wondering quite what the day will bring has remained constant.

Tuesday 27th March

First thing a meeting with premierleague.com in-house editorial team to discuss some up-coming activities and campaigns – principally our 20 Seasons Awards launch and our involvement in the government’s ‘Great’ campaign and our ‘takeover’ of their Facebook site in mid-April. These are two exciting, and very different initiatives that require a lot of planning and demonstrate the differing elements that the Premier League encompasses.

The 20 Seasons Awards are a celebration of the football – players, managers, goals, matches – that is fundamentally what the Premier League has to be all about. The challenge is how to best time and communicate all of this at a pretty hectic point in the season. Digital channels like Twitter and Facebook can both help and hinder – once something is communicated it’s everywhere – and we have to be mindful of the needs of our rightsholders and the print media if we want to engage as many fans as possible across all platforms.

The ‘Great’ campaign is both a communications and public affairs activity – No. 10 are keen to showcase the best of Britain in the year of the Diamond Jubilee and the Olympics, so it’s a good thing to be asked to get involved in.

Next to Manchester for the General Assembly of the European Professional Football Leagues (EPFL) – a chance on the train to catch-up with cuts, Twitter and papers for the upcoming Premier League Shareholders’ meeting on Friday.

The EPFL General Assembly itself is an interesting mix – updates on its activity including a controversial MoU with UEFA meaning that the European leagues accept they can’t schedule matches when Champions League or Europa League games are scheduled. The Premier League has refused to sign – we would never seek to go head-to-head with European games, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

UEFA and FIFA representatives present on Financial Fair Play and the Transfer Monitoring System respectively. There is some good work coming out of both organisations at operational level – we don’t always disagree..!

The evening is spent watching Chelsea’s impressive victory over Benfica in the equally impressive Manchester Town Hall – it’s an official EPFL dinner, but the match is on in the background. At half-time the EPFL’s CSR programme, in partnership with the UN’s Food and Agriculture Organisation, Football v Hunger receives backing from a European Commissioner, Kristalina Georgieva, and the former Spurs and German international, Stefan Freund. He speaks well – though can’t resist a few mild Euro 96 references. Reminds me that we need to do more to engage with our former stars and get them involved.

Wednesday 28th March

An early start with the 6.35am train back to London with a full deck of newspapers and Twitter on my iPad. Still prefer the real thing – gives you a greater sense of the context and importance of the story seeing how it’s been set out in the paper, though Twitter opens your eyes to how journalists interact with each other and links to some pretty insightful and thoughtful blogs.

Plenty of stories of interest – particularly the FA’s search for a Technical Director, something the Premier League welcomes – though a message goes through to the website to do the story straight and ignore the speculation that the papers can indulge in. Good steers though I’m sure they are…

Jon Woodgate gives legs to the theme that the Premier League has dropped in quality. Always hard to counter these types of story especially when our clubs haven’t performed to their recent high-standard in Europe. The Premier League model has delivered European success and I’m sure it will again – football comes in cycles – and I know our top clubs will be working all the harder to produce teams capable of challenging in Europe in the coming seasons. Oh – and Chelsea might still go on and do something special.

The afternoon is given over to interviewing for premierleague.com editorial positions. The current state and morale of the newspaper industry has produced some quality, and surprising, candidates.

Milan v Barca provides the evening’s entertainment – an enthralling encounter marked out by top defending by Milan and a dodgy pitch.

Thursday 29th March

A big news day, and a sure sign the title-race is hotting up, with a BBC Patrick Vieira interview sparking off headlines and recriminations in equal measure. Most of the media has taken the BBC lead that Vieira’s comments are critical of Manchester United and the favourable penalty decision they received against Fulham. City and Vieira are of the view that they have been heavily spun and the context of the interview was Patrick’s role as a Football v Hunger ambassador – as such they take decision to ban the BBC’s Dan Roan.

I exchange messages with Vicky Kloss, Manchester City’s Chief Communications Officer, who explains the decision and stresses that it wasn’t taken lightly and in no way impacts on the club’s overall relationship with the BBC. I am generally not in favour of banning journalists, like most clubs, including City. I would always rather have the debate, but I can empathise with clubs who sometimes feel it is the only sanction that gets a reaction.

A bit of fire-fighting of our own is required after Nick Hawkins, the Crown Prosecution Service’s lead on football and sports prosecutions, suggests that racist and abusive chanting should be met by clubs having to play behind closed doors or getting docked points. Our view is that criminal behaviour should be prosecuted by the statutory authorities and that football clubs are doing a huge amount to educate and deal with any instances of abuse with high standards of stewarding, CCTV and excellent operational relationships with the police. It would be interesting to see how many reported instances of abuse were taken forward by the CPS I muse to several journalists..

Friday 30th March

Unusual for the Premier League to hold a Shareholders’ Meeting – the 20 member clubs – on a Friday – they are normally on Thursdays – but the fixture schedule doesn’t just affect the matches..!

I know many journalists who would love to get inside one of these meetings and some who manage to get things out of them without even being there. Coincidently, a certain well known sports news diarist was spotted in the hotel foyer…

As you might expect there is little detail I can go into. The time was primarily devoted to broadcast and commercial updates as we reach that point in our three-year commercial term where we start to think about heading out to market with our domestic and international TV rights-packages as well as sponsorship and licensing deals. Fortunately we are going to be doing this off the back of another compelling season of football.

One topic I can report on is around youth development and the adoption of a mandatory games programme for Academy and Reserve football as part of the adoption of the Elite Player Performance Plan. After an informed and intelligent discussion the clubs accept the Executive’s position which will see the Reserve League replaced with a Professinal Development League – primarily under 21s. The rationale behind this is to create a bridge from the Academy to the First Team which will see more and better home-grown players making it. The clubs have been particulary engaged on the development of the EPPP – I think this is because they realise the importance of making sure that a successful Academy structure is at the heart of sustaining the game going forward.

Saturday 31st March

I am on duty, so grab the papers early and type up a full review (around domestic responsibilities) for the Chief Executive, the rest of the Senior Management Team and Press Office.

Match previews and the football generally dominates, as it should do, particularly at this point in the season, with the exception of the sad news about Stylian Petrov’s diagnosis with acute leukaemia. It is always shocking to see these fit, young men affected this way, particularly off the back of Fabrice Muamba’s cardiac arrest. It is heartening to see the picture he Tweeted of himself sitting up in bed and smiling, which also gets good coverage. These types of incidents do show the positive side of the game with acts of kindness and solidarity for both Fabrice and Stan across the league and through-out the football world.

There is no live televised Premier League football for a change, so Sky’s ever excellent Soccer Saturday augmented by Twitter gets me through the afternoon’s matches. Some cracking games and plenty of the drama and upsets that seem to have set the tone for the season. Plaudits for the action on Twitter and some breathless descriptions from Merson, Le Tissier and Thompson means I am particularly looking forward to Match of the Day.

Shortly after full-time I start to get some calls about a coin throwing incident at the QPR v Arsenal match. After checking with the Professional Game Match Officials General Manager – refs chief in English – Mike Riley, I guide that the assistant is uninjured and that the incident will be going in the referee’s report to the FA. It is the governing body that deals with on and off field discipline.

Sunday 1st April

Same drill on the papers, with Manchester City v Sunderland taking the lead in most – the comeback, the nature of the match and what it says about their title hopes seem to be the main themes. But there is plenty of space for the rest of the League too. We are fortunate to have the plurality of media that produces some excellent sports journalism – be it match reports, story-getting or comment.

One April Fool’s story nearly gets past me and makes it the press review. A fine effort by the Star on Sunday about an Arsenal-Spurs ground-share while White Hart Lane is redeveloped – it was the insistence on a giant cockerel outside the Emirates entrance that gave it away…

The phone is pretty quiet, as it tends to be when there is plenty of football on. I settle down to two very decent Premier League matches – top quality football in front of full-houses. Just how it should be.

Next week will be different if nothing else…

My Week: Dan Tolhurst

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PICTURE: Dan Tolhurst and Arsène Wenger at a pre-match media conference.

Dan Tolhurst. Communications Manager, Arsenal, on a major decision about CBeebies…problems with a chunky monkey…and a happy boss

I’m proud to say that I’ve been Communications Manager/Press Officer at Arsenal for nearly 14 years. I joined Arsenal just after the Double’season of 1997/98. Since then, a lot has changed in football and at Arsenal, including a new training ground and a new stadium, but thankfully all the while with just one manager.

Monday 19th March
We were all rocked by the events at White Hart Lane on Saturday evening. Fabrice Muamba joined us at Arsenal as a schoolboy and came through the youth ranks under Liam Brady at Hale End and London Colney, before becoming a professional in 2005. A lovely lad and as a press officer, an absolute pleasure to work with. Full respect and credit to everyone at Bolton Wanderers and Tottenham Hotspur – they have been impeccable in their handling of the situation. On Sunday morning, we gave our fans the opportunity to send in their messages of support to Fabrice. We received over 20,000 messages in the first 24 hours. Says a lot to how much the boy means to everyone at Arsenal.

Monday morning started with the usual commute from Kent to Emirates Stadium. The journey in always gives me the chance to take a view of the morning’s newspapers and track that Twitter time line. Got into the office and put a call in to the training ground to arrange messages of support for Fabrice from Arsène Wenger and Liam Brady. Both called back within minutes and quotes posted on our website.

Early flurry of calls from the journalists on the Arsenal beat regarding the media reports in Germany about Lukas Podolski. Cologne media reporting the deal will be announced today, so UK journalists needed to check the facts. No signing, but most of the day spent relaying our position and giving the information out

Tuesday 20th March
Newspapers, online Blogs and Twitter safely navigated with no major Arsenal issues, so I get down to some planning. Pre-season tour plans are already moving. We’ve already confirmed matches in Beijing (against Manchester City on 27th July) and in Hong Kong (against local side Kitchee FC on 29th July), so we spent some time discussing tour events, media access and engaging supporters when we’re out there in the summer.

Following the Fabrice Muamba incident, media debate is focussing on the heart screening of players. We liaised with our medical team, in order to determine our position on heart screening – which is that we give all our players a cardiac screening once a season and our facilities and staff at London Colney and at Emirates Stadium are more than adequate.

OK, so this bit isn’t going to please the FWA members. We’ve got a match tomorrow at Everton, but we haven’t had a press conference. This doesn’t happen often, and is purely down to schedules. However, Arsène gave a brief interview to Arsenal.com, which we distributed to UK newspapers and held back on a 10.30pm embargo.

Also, finalised our stat pack and club information ahead of the match at Everton on Wednesday night. Our stat pack (for those anoraks amongst you) will always consist of Arsenal’s all-time stats and breakdown of player information. We know you guys have Soccerbase and Wikipedia these days, but you can’t always rely on them. For me, it’s such an important part of a press officer’s role – know your facts, make yourself available and be ready at any point to help and assist journalists and broadcasters.

Wednesday 21st March
It’s matchday. After all these years, I still find myself ‘in the zone’ on matchdays, which I know is not a bad thing at all. Today, it’s Goodison Park.

Quick stop at the office before heading up to Liverpool on the train. Usually travel to away matches on the train. With the journey from Euston to Lime Street being direct and just over two hours, it’s fairly straightforward. Together with the Arsenal media team, we jump on the 3.07pm and we’re at Goodison Park in good time before kick-off. On arrival, meet up with my counterparts at Everton to gauge the media presence at the match. It’s fairly quiet from a TV perspective, as they are all in Manchester to cover Man City v Chelsea. However, it will still be busy after the match, with BBC, Sky Sports, radio and written media present in numbers.

Behind the scenes, Everton are a great club to work with. Very friendly and cooperative and the stadium always reminds me a little bit of Highbury. Narrow players’ tunnel and terraces close to the pitch.

The match goes well from an Arsenal point of view, an early goal from Thomas Vermaelen securing a valuable three points. Post-match, Arsène and the players were understandably in good spirits. Vermaelen, Aaron Ramsey and Laurent Koscielny stopped for media interviews, together with AW, who was delighted with his team’s performance.

Thursday 22nd March
The school run and not much sleep was made better after last night’s result. Drop the children at school and nursery. Sounds like I’ve got a coach-load of children, but just the three. For the majority of time, football has no part to play in my home life, which is a good thing. This morning, my major diplomatic decision was to decide which TV channel would be accompanying breakfast – CBeebies or the Disney Channel.

After the school run, get home and digest the morning’s media, which makes good reading the morning after a victory. Get to the office and finalise our activities of support for Fabrice Muamba at Saturday’s home match against Aston Villa. We’ve produced a giant banner for the supporters to show as the teams come out. We’ve also prepared a PA announcement from both clubs to be read before kick-off. A section of Saturday’s Matchday Programme will also be devoted to Fabrice.

Have a good update and review with our Head of Education and Welfare regarding our media training programme for our younger players – now known as Scholars (YTS players to the older readers). We set up a number of sessions each season with our first and second year scholars, using journalists and broadcasters, in order to educate and train the young players, focussing on the role of the media in football and also to engage them in some practical sessions in mock interviews.

Friday 23rd March
Press conference day. Preview for our home match against Aston Villa is 12.30pm today at our training ground. As well as player media interviews, Arsène has his press conference and the usual session with UK newspapers – Friday for Saturday. A relaxed Arsène gives an update on Jack Wilshere’s recovery, telling journalists for Saturday that he’s hopeful Jack will be back playing in around five weeks.

Get back to the stadium and finish off preparing for tomorrow’s match. Press Box is nearly full for the match.

Saturday 24th March

Home matchday. Get to the stadium at about 10am. Check that the media areas are ready for action.

There are about seven of us from the club who work in the media areas on a matchday. We have a team meeting about three hours before kick-off, then we are open for business.

Quite a few journalists arrive early to watch the Chelsea v Spurs match, so our catering staff are ready to roll. However, there is a problem. We are very proud of our ice cream selection available in the media lounge on a matchday, but we have a serious problem. I’m approached by a journalist (who will remain nameless) who asks whether we have any chunky monkey ice creams left. Unfortunately we don’t and my day will now remain unfulfilled. It is a known fact to our regulars that Arsenal’s media facilities go hand-in-hand with the availability of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. The chunky monkey news is a severe blow.

Anyway, back to the serious stuff. The Arsenal and Aston Villa fans join together and show magnificent support for Fabrice Muamba before the match. Also before kick off, we announce that a 29-year-old man has been arrested by the Met Police on suspicion of a Racially Aggravated Public Order offence, following the recent match against Newcastle United. Great that Arsenal and Met Police have acted quickly and strongly on this matter.

On the pitch, we continue our good run of form with a 3-0 win. Goals from Gibbs, Walcott and Arteta. Post-match is enjoyable, with the boss and a number of players talking to the media.

Winning makes the job of a press officer so much easier.

Hope you’ve enjoyed.

My Week: John Ley

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THE DAILY TELEGRAPH’S JOHN LEY on stats…Stinking Bishop…and speaking at the House of Commons

Monday, March 12
Wake up with a start. It’s going to be a busy old week and I don’t feel if I’m as prepared as I should be. The last 10 months have been strange; since switching from my role as a football writer on The Daily Telegraph after 24 years, I am still adapting to life as ‘Production Editor’ – that’s a sub in real money – and it still feels strange, knowing that I don’t start work until 4pm.

It would be nice to think I could have a lie-in, but my daughter leaves for college at 9am and if I don’t get up, even for just 20 minutes for a cup of tea and a chat, I won’t see her again that day. Katie, my daughter, is 18 and has Down’s syndrome and diabetes. She is also very special and is doing well at Harlow College, where she attends a special needs class. Her taxi arrives and, within a nano-second the dog has one of my walking boots in her mouth, throwing it into the air with like a canine juggler. Set off with the dog, Bella, and my wife (she’s called Linda to avoid confusion) along the River Lee, throw a ball for the dog a few times then return via the paper shop. Need the papers to update my stats books. Buy my paper and the Sun – they are good on stats which I like to nick – then return for coffee at home.

Normally my Monday routine is simple; spend a couple of hours getting my stats books up to date and start preparing the weekend’s previews for the paper and Telegraph Sport’s website. But I have other pressing matters to attend to.

A month ago I received a call out of the blue from the Royal Statistical Society, asking if I would give a short talk at – wait for it – the House of Commons. I know, I know. I thought she’d got the wrong number as well. But as the lady, Debra Hurcomb, explained, the RSS is a charity leading a campaign called getstats. It’s focused on building confidence with numbers, data and statistics and is currently attempting to focus on “strengthening the understanding, know-how and confidence of groups of people who influence the public such as parliamentarians and their staff.”

They want me to speak at Portcullis House, where MPs have their offices. I’m on tomorrow and haven’t prepared a word. Panic time. I devote my morning to thinking about what I am going to say. The stats can wait.

After a bit of work on some ideas, I change and leave for the office. We’re in Victoria, very handy as my main-line train goes to Tottenham Hale on the Victoria Line. I walk across the concourse and realise it’s happened; a train has just arrived from the south coast and around 200 people, all heading for the underground, are sprinting towards me. This is like swimming against a human, maniacal tide. I’ve worked out a tactic, of sorts; head for the wall, past the Wasabi noodle bar and Mexican food outlet. Then creep past the 24 hour drop-in medical centre – I may need you soon – and, with a bit of luck I’ll make it to the Telegraph without having my knee-caps taken out.

Resist temptation to pop in to the International Cheese Centre and buy my favourite Stinking Bishop. I love it, but the underground doesn’t and last time I bought some the entire carriage was looking accusingly at probable farters with halitosis and BO.

My first job is to sub a lovely piece by Jeff Randall, well known on Sky but also a Telegraph man who has written about what the Cheltenham Festival means to him. This time he has a part-share in a horse – “my share is half a nostril” – and I enjoy subbing it. Sub Henry Winter on David Moyes, and Alan Smith’s predications on the title race. He reckons United will beat City to the title by one point.

All stories also have to go online, but you have to be careful to adhere to embargoes. When journalists get stories they often agree that they must go only in the paper, or at least appear online no earlier than 11pm.

News that one of our bright young things, Jonathan Liew, has won Young Sports Writer of the Year filters through while sports news man Paul Kelso has scooped the Sports News Reporter of the Year. Great for the paper, but when these awards come around I always think there should be a category for Stats Man of the Year….

Delight in seeing Arsenal come from behind for the fourth time in succession. Note that former Telegraph colleague and fellow FWA Committee Member Chris Davies has tweeted that it’s a Barclays Premier League record. Tell the desk, take a short break then return to sub the quotes piece from the Emirates. Get away about 20 minutes after midnight, get home an hour later and make my bed around 2.45am, worrying about tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 13
I’m off today, so I can concentrate on the talk. It’s only for 10-15 minutes but it’s surprising how much one can say in such a short space of time. Let Linda walk the dog while I concentrate on putting some thoughts down. Spend a couple more hours on it, then try it out on myself. It lasts about 12 minutes, which is spot on. I decide to walk away from it for an hour.

Also waiting for a man to repair our oven. Got the old ‘between 12 and four’ promise, so any hopes of leaving the house wrecked. I told them it was the fan; he turns up, says it’s the fan – and he doesn’t have the part. Reckons he did have one – but used it on an earlier repair. So we’ll be a third week without the main oven. Ring insurers and make official complaint.

Get dressed and head off to Westminster. I had been warned to expect a wait, but I am amazed to see the queues of people trying to get in to Portcullis House. So while I’m waiting I consider the size of the place. Did you know it cost £235 million, the world’s most expensive office block?

After 20 minutes, I have a face scan, go through an X-Ray machine and have my bag searched. I put on a security tag and find the Macmillan room, home to the seminar. As I walk around the first floor veranda, I look down on MPs talking in plush coffee shops. On the walls are some terrific paintings of great figures. The one that draws me is a marvellous image of Tony Benn. Not my politics, but I’m a great admirer of him as a man, and the painting does him proud.

On arrival, I’m offered a quick tour and shown the room, next door where the Murdoch Enquiry took place last year. I’m also told there’s a row going on about the £150,000 paid for some decorative fig trees which dominate the inside of the building. Good to see my taxes being used wisely.

Back to the room and I meet Rob Mastrodomenico who, despite the name, is a lad from Swindon with a wonderful Wiltshire burr. “I’m part of Paolo’s red and white army.” Rob’s more than that; after studying at Reading Uni, where he received a BSc in Maths and Statistics, followed by an MSc and PhD in Statistics, he joined a company that produces sports stats and data. Then he set up his own company, Global Sports Statistics, and is doing well.

I meet a few people from RSS and then I am introduced to a charming man, Lord David Lipsey, a former chairman of the Fabian Society and journalist. He is also the chairman of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Statistics and announces me as ‘StatManJon’, my Twitter name.

It’s the first day of Cheltenham so he warns that he intends to invoke a little-known Commons by-law that anybody mentioning any results will be marched to the Tower and hanged.

Start the talk my saying how brave they are to invite a Daily Telegraph journalist to Westminster and proceed to explain why I think stats are important, how they once won me four flights to Australia and how I was responsible for earning charity £10,000 by telling the Barclays Premier League they were close to the 10,000th goal. Their sponsors, Barclays, responded by giving ten grand to the scorer’s chosen charity; Les Ferdinand scored the goal, for Spurs, and two cancer charities benefitted.

I finish by telling them I will be putting in expenses. Seems to go OK. Rob is next, and far more detailed with a slide show to put over his points about betting. Lord Lipsey had to leave half way through my talk, to vote on the health and social care bill, but did return – and offered an interesting tip on how to win at greyhound racing. I’m keeping that one to myself. Around 40-50 were there and, afterwards engaged myself, Rob and David Walker, a director of the getstats campaign, in a Q&A. Enjoyed that bit.

Afterwards we mingle and enjoy very nice hospitality courtesy the House of Commons with their own wine and marvellous canapés, interrupted only by the occasional sounding of the Division bell.

Rob and I find a pub showing the second half of Liverpool v Everton.

Wednesday, March 14
Receive a nice email from Debra, describing my talk as ‘excellent’….and a form for expenses! Do a few stats, send some emails to prospective FWA members as part of my role as FWA Membership Secretary, then start looking into some stats on behalf of the League Managers Association, who I also help out.

I also do a little bit of research ahead of another talk; tomorrow I am going to Harlow College to give a speech to some wannabe journalists.

Set off for work and at Victoria I’m confronted by dozens of policeman, awaiting the arrival of the Gatwick Express and Napoli fans ahead of the Chelsea game. One copper is bigger than a house, at least 7ft, with size 20 feet and carrying a machine gun. I bet he’s good at his job. Decide buying Stinking Bishop to avoid antagonising PC Goliath.

Note that Randall’s horse, Vendor, comes in third at Cheltenham.

Sub several bits, including an Olympics story, another on boxing and a delightful piece by Oliver Brown, on Rory McIlroy. Later, Chelsea stage a remarkable fight back against Napoli and I am given a piece about the five things we learned at Stamford Bridge.

Thursday, March 15
Although I didn’t get to bed until 2.30am, I am up at eight. In the shower I listen to 5 live and hear an old buddy Ian McGarry talk about Chelsea. Makes me realise I still miss the old gang, that body of reprobates known as football writers.

I have to be at Harlow College by 10am to address 12 youngsters, between the ages of 19 and 23, on journalism generally and subbing in particular. An old mate, Neil Silver, runs the course and it’s the second time I’ve been there. People like Piers Morgan, who attended the NCTJ (National Council for the Training of Journalists) course with Neil, Richard Madeley and Jeremy Clarkson took the diploma.

Neil is vastly experienced from his days at PA, The People, Express and Sunday Mirror amongst others, and has successfully reinvented himself as a lecturer. I speak about the importance of embracing digital media, and the response is good, as it was before. Myself and Neil share stories of having to use typewriters, of having to put ‘blacks’ – carbon paper – between sheets so we had multiple copies of our copy. We trigger the type of look directed at Klaatu in The Day The Earth Stood Still as he emerged from his space ship.

After that shock, a couple of lads ask for a contact number so they can speak to me in the future.

The College, part of Anglia Ruskin University, has a nice feel to it. The facilities are outstanding, and you have the impression these youngsters are receiving the best training possible. After all, the NCTJ course at Harlow is the oldest of its kind in the country. Will happily return to speak to the next batch.

Go home via a florists to order Mother’s Day flowers for my mum, now 80 and going strong, then grab half an hour’s kip before going back to work. The smell of the cheese is almost luring me, but I resist again.

Lots to sub, but do get half an hour to continue preparing my stats for the Saturday paper and online. Sub the Man City report, from the ultimately failed attempt to move on in the Europa League, among other stories.

Go back, sub some more then leave. Arrive home at 1.15am and to bed at 2am (impossible to go straight to sleep, mind won’t switch off).

Friday, March 16
I am up at 8am because I have to go in early to write the team-news and stats page. Do a few Tweets on some stats about the weekend’s games. I’m chasing 12,000 followers.

On the way, I wonder what the average time is between stations. I know it’s 22 minutes between Tottenham Hale and Victoria, and count nine stops so – and this is why my life can be so, so sad – I work out that, on average, it’s two minutes, 27 seconds a stop.

The cheese can wait; stats to do. But horrified that the canteen has run out of sausages, my traditional Friday morning breakfast. Go for Plan B – bacon – and set to work on the stats.

I have to work out probable line-ups with shirt numbers, list injuries and players awaiting tests, the refs and their season’s figures, kick-off times, betting odds, TV times and a stat for each game. I also arrange for the guys covering the games to write 75 words with a prediction.

All this is set up for the paper and is also posted online and I get the chance to add a photo as well. I also have to plan ahead to next midweek; the website wants previews of the Tuesday and Wednesday games.

My favourite stat of the weekend is the one about Man Utd, who need four wins from their last five away games for 14 away victories, an all-time club record.

With subbing numbers down, I agree to do a bit of subbing too, and get away about seven and to a roast dinner – a rarity when you work lates.

Saturday, March 17
Take daughter to buy a Mother’s Day present, start writing this diary, then leave for work. On Saturdays I tend to start at 2.30pm as The Sunday Telegraph deadline is earlier.

Give in to temptation and visit Cheese centre. No Stinking Bishop in sight. One could suggest it’s divine intervention.

Sub the match report from Wigan, along with other pieces including 1,000 words from Henry W. He really is prolific. All is going well on the desk until news comes in that Bolton’s Fabrice Muamba has collapsed at WHL. My brother calls me to check I’ve heard, and it’s a horrible feeling.

The pages are redrawn to accommodate the shock news. I was down to do the match report, but instead it’s changed into a news story. Jon Liew has written it and reacted quickly to events. He comes in on his way home and looks visibly shaken by what he has witnessed. The press box at Spurs is just behind the visitor’s dug out and adjacent to the tunnel, so as the drama unfolded, the journo’s would have been on top of it.

Big stories like this, however sad they maybe, produce a buzz in newspaper offices. You have to react, and be considerate as well. Important no stories have defeats described as disasters. This is real life, not a game.

As I leave, I walk past England and Irish rugby fans at Victoria, and arrive home about 10.45, with traditional Saturday night doner kebab in hand. Watch the news for updates on Muamba and notice he’s in the same hospital that saved my dad’s life around 17 years ago.

I Tweet that fact – and the fact that, at 87, he’s still going strong – and it is retweeted quite a lot.

Try to write a bit more of this diary but it’s 1.25am, I’m too tired to write any more. Go to bed.

Sunday, March 18
Wake up around eight. Muamba is still fighting.

Ask my daughter to make breakfast for mum as it is Mother’s Day and then we all go for a lovely walk with the dog, along the old Ermine Street Roman road, and into Hoddesdon Park Wood.

Back home we have lunch then leave for work. I should have been off this weekend, but a colleague has been invited to a two-day ‘stag’ weekend, so I’m covering.

Decide to drive half way. Big mistake. There’s been an accident in Cheshunt and a drive that should take me 25 minutes, takes nearly an hour. At Tottenham Hale I find the car park full. Going from bad to worse. Drive to Blackhorse Road, take tube in and arrive 10 minutes late.

Lots to sub, including match reports from Fulham, where Swansea were rampant, Newcastle, who weren’t but still beat Norwich to stay sixth, and Chelsea, with Torres realising that he can score. In addition, there’s a rugby piece on Ben Youngs, but, later on I have two pieces on Muamba, including an emotional plea from his fiancée to keep praying for Fabrice.

I am given four pages to proof read, and leave about 10.45. It’s been a long week. As I leave I’m passed by Liverpool fans on their way back from beating Stoke at Anfield. Get off the train at Tottenham Hale….and as it leaves, remember I’m parked at Blackhorse Road. D’oh.

Driving home and it’s 11.40pm and, outside the Roman Urn pub in Cheshunt, my eyes are drawn to a dwarf wearing an Iron Maiden T shirt and a hat in the shape of a pint of the Black Stuff. He is swaggering ever so slightly, but with a smile the width of the Liffey. A bizarre end to a bizarre week.

My Week: Ian Danter

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talkSPORT’s IAN DANTER on Ballcrack…being Gary Lineker…and writing songs

Monday March 5
There’ll probably be protests about this before I’ve even typed a full sentence – I can hear it now. ‘Why oh why oh why is a mere broadcast journalist being asked to submit pieces for the Football Writers’ Association? Blokes like him just waffle on about bad refereeing decisions and occasionally stop to tell you what Wickes have on offer in the tungsten tip screw aisle – he doesn’t actually write anything does he? etc etc blah blah…”

OK, so there’s probably not such outrage, actually – these are just the ramblings of a fragile broadcasting ego after all. One who gets absolute dogs abuse on Twitter just for innocently announcing the attendance at a game as though it’s some Machiavellian plot to destabilise a club. But I’m sure we’ve all been there.

Anyway…Mondays are usually the quiet day of the week for me, work-wise, but I was asked by the talkSPORT office to attend the press conference at Birmingham City’s Wast Hills training ground ahead of tomorrow’s Chelsea replay – and an obvious line of questioning to take with Chris Hughton given the AVB heave-ho last night.

John Curtis of PA is always there early at these sorts of things – a man given to breaking into song at almost any moment apropos nothing. My mere mention of the passing of guitarist Ronnie Montrose the previous day sent him into a full on Freddie Mercury impression of all things. Utterly bonkers.

Chris Hughton is always friendly, approachable and affable – an interviewer’s delight in most respects. You’re never going to get a Di Canio-esque meltdown or a Warnock-esque moanfest off him (or Freddie Mercury for that matter) – just the facts typically. So it’s not really a journalistic ‘challenge’ in that way. He made his displeasure known at the AVB P45, but not in such a way that you’d call it provocative or edgy – simply level-headed and uncomplicated…you sense his players get exactly that too, and thrive on it.

Mick McCarthy was always a challenge – in a good way. He seemed more playful in a post-match situation when they’d lost rather than won or drawn. I’ll really miss his pressers. Not as much as Wolves will miss his drive and authority in these next few weeks. That was a clanger of Oliver Postgate proportions from Steve Morgan in my opinion. (one for the over 40’s there)

Tuesday March 6
An early start to trek into Birmingham City Centre to collect some audio leads I need to record a voiceover piece back at my little home studio. It’s for use on a YouTube topical football comedy skit called “Ballcrack” (delightful) which is made for a well-known Irish bookmaking firm that pays out on title winners before the clocks go back. Yes, them.

It’s a chance for me to indulge in a few silly impressions of some of soccer’s luminaries, which I’ve done with varying degrees of success over the years to the delight of most I’ve encountered in the press box. My Trevor Francis and Graham Taylor have come in for special praise, and I’ve even made a David O’Leary voice raise a smile – there’s a rarity.

Job suitably done to a script written for me rather than by me – see, I still haven’t written anything yet, my dear writers – I then head off to a local school at the behest of my father-in-law (who teaches there) to give a talk to some vaguely interested 6th form pupils about the machinations of radio station marketing and promotion to our mostly male audience on talkSPORT. No one falls asleep, picks their nose or resorts to wearily asking who my favourite player is. Boom.

Not long after leaving the school (without having my head shoved down a toilet bowl, as was usually the case 30 years ago), I’m asked to come on the talkSPORT Hawksbee & Jacobs show to preview the B’ham/Chelsea Cup replay – Paul Hawksbee is a fine presenter and an incredibly sharp wit, so it’s always a delight to contribute to his shows. He delights in me telling him that our East Mids reporter Geoff Peters was approached at Stoke last weekend and asked for an autograph by a fan believing him to be Alvin Martin – a schoolboy error, as Geoff doesn’t possess that ‘regular trip to Spain’ tan that Alvin does.

The press room at St Andrew’s is packed to the rafters a few hours later as the somewhat low budget catering serves up an admittedly decent-looking Chicken Sagwalla curry with rice and naan. I listen out intently for somebody to snort the ‘you get more than this at the Bridge’ mantra… which doesn’t materialise. Hot food at Birmingham City is a relatively modern phenomenon for the media – and up until the season before last, such hot dishes as Cottage Pie were served up onto the flimsiest paper plates. The press room chairs have a small retractable table attached to the arm, but these sit at a sight angle to the horizontal, making eating such offerings a bit of a struggle. Especially when gravy is involved. It’s a balancing act up there with keeping a Malteser on a slab of marble.

The big hitters from the nationals are there for the AVB/RDM/KGB angle of Nouveau Chelsea, and the London Blues look a tad nervous in the first 45, only for a quick 2-goal salvo just prior to the hour to see them past Championship Birmingham and into the FA Cup’s last 8. Fernando Torres wins a penalty not long after the 2nd goal, and the Chelsea fans at the Gil Merrick End scream for him to take the resulting kick – only for the 20,000 Bluenoses in the other 3 stands to scream even louder in agreement. “We Want Torres!” the Bluenoses cry. He resists, Mata duly takes the responsibility…and misses.

Other chant of the night from the CFC faithful “He sacks when he wants, he sacks when he waaaaaaants, Roman Abramovic, he sacks when he wants”

I speak to RDM afterwards who admits he’s already ‘very tired’ after the events of the last 48 hours, but insists he’s focused on 4th place as a priority, while defeated Chris Hughton says that a new 13-game season “effectively starts now” as Birmingham refocus on their Championship run-in. It’s easy for me to say it and sound biased, but Hughton is Manager of the Year for me – 47 players in & out of the club last summer and he is challenging at the right end of the table having barely spent a brass farthing. He deserves far more credit than he’s getting.

Another call from talkSPORT as I head wearily home after 11pm via Tesco. The overnight show wants to pre-record an interview with my post-match thoughts, which again I’m happy to do. The station is heading inexorably for round the clock sports content in its programming and the listening figures bear that philosophy out since the 10pm-1am slot was changed from current affairs to sport.

Tesco is blissfully quiet at stupid o’clock.

Oh, and Alan Green was quite nice to me earlier on. There, I said it.

Wednesday March 7
I’m pretending to be Gary Lineker this morning. No, I’m not hamming it up over a pack of Smoky Bacon and nor am I spectacularly dissing Piers Morgan in less than 140 characters. Instead I’m voicing a corporate presentation as him for a DHL logistics division that have written a script likening their staff to a football team, with formations and everything.

I give it my best shot (as Gary did) and send off the audio. These sorts of job are very sporadic and not to be relied upon as a regular source of income. I could be writing about next week instead of this and make no mention of voiceover work. It really is that changeable.

Away from football, I read with interest that the Live Music Bill will be given Royal Ascent and be on the statute books by the Autumn – it’s a Bill which effectively allows small pubs clubs and community centres to put on live music without the need for a Local Authority licence, and also means fewer restrictions on amplified music in pubs. The pub/club trade needs this and gigging musicians need this too. As a passionate muso of moderate ability, I’m so happy that you will soon have more musical options on a Saturday night rather than letting X Factor or Strictly rot your very inner core from within.

Watching Messi with his legs a positive blur once again as Leverkusen play the part of the hapless Belgians from It’s A Knockout. Lionel must be the only man who can eat a Fruit Pastille without chewing it. He is quite simply not of this earth.

I’ve gone all Alan Partridge and booked a Travelodge for Sat night that is equidistant between London & Norwich – looking forward to dismantling my Corby trouser press and encountering racist kitchen sellers. Perhaps.

Thursday March 8
A day off from football to all intents and purposes – I usually help my wife run her Thursday afternoon Mother and Toddler playgroup at the local church hall, where the decibel level regularly gives Lemmy and the boys a severe run for their money.

That tinnitus-inducing session is swiftly followed by my step-daughter Lily (aged 6) heading for ballet lessons after school, then her twin brother Archie needs to be at his Tae Kwon Do lesson around the same time as she starts Girls Brigade. Mental.

Once they’re both shepherded back home and take an eternity to go to bed, I relent and watch Bilbao surprise Manchester United, but surprise me not one jot. Bielsa’s 3-3-1-3 formation with Chile at the World Cup was a clear sign of his willingness to rip up the tactical rule book, and how he went for the jugular and exposed United time and again.

As long as punters (and some pundits) continue to stick their heads in the sand and dismiss any possible notion that the game is developing on the continent and overseas (a trait that has endured since we invented the game, as detailed in Jonathan Wilson’s excellent “Inverting The Pyramid” book) we shall continue to look inhibited and one dimensional in our club football by contrast. Always 2 steps behind.

And don’t blame the Europa League format – the mechanic of a tournament is a total irrelevance. The apparent disinterest in how the game develops around us is the problem. It was ever thus.

Friday March 9
Ok, so I may not be a football writer in the exact sense, but I am a songwriter. Music is my other enormous passion alongside football and has been since a very early age courtesy of my dear old Dad who was an amazing piano player and a massive inspiration for me to learn an instrument. It was his and Mum’s tough luck that I settled on the drums at the age of 10.

To that end, I’m recording an album of my own original compositions at the moment, and today was a day to get loads done at Arkham Studios in Brum City Centre.

Before my entry into the media bubble back in the late 90’s, I had many a delusion of grandeur about being a rock star. You can thank KISS for that particular fruitless quest. However over the years of perpetual struggle while working in a music shop, along with occasional character-building gigs in front of 2 men a dog and a can of beans (the can got in free) I have become quite proficient on guitar, bass and keyboards as well as my first love, of course – drums.

And currently, I’m about half way through the recording process – I put down 15 drum tracks inside 2 days initially and the bass guitar followed suit in the next 2 sessions. As for today the vast majority of the guitars were completed, and I can now start to think about getting a good friend in to sing lead vocals. I’d sing them myself, but I’d like it to sell ideally.

I wonder if any football writers would do a quirky piece when the time comes about a sports radio presenter who’s releasing a rock album? Hmmm…

The evening was spent at St Andrew’s for a very special occasion – a dinner to induct more players into the Birmingham City Hall Of Fame, as organised by Dean Holtham and the Former Players Association.

It’s easy to deride a club that barely wins anything to have Hall Of Fame evenings for players who collected no medals whilst wearing the Royal Blue and White. But when big Roger Hynd, a 6’3” giant of a centre half from the 70’s found out that he had been inducted, he could barely give a speech, so overcome with emotion at what had been bestowed upon him by his peers from the club he loved. The man had been on the operating table 2 days ago, could only walk with a stick and wasn’t going to come at all, until Jimmy Calderwood stepped in to drive him all the way down from Scotland to be part of the night. He’ll treasure the fact that he made it, as we all did.

Robert Hopkins, another who wore his heart on his sleeve as a winger/striker in the 80’s was similarly choked as he collected his plaque. Now there’s 2 players whose names are not writ large in the pantheon of Association Football, but nevertheless 2 men whose love for their club is so apparent, so unconditional, that a simple award or induction can bring them to tears. This sort of outpouring of unity and recognition won’t just happen at Birmingham City dinners, but at dozens of similarly under-achieving clubs who still rightly cling to those stars who gave them joy and hope if not a trophy.

It was a privilege to be there.

Line of the night came from Jasper Carrott who was there to present the awards to the inductees, who also included Kevan Broadhurst, Malcolm Page, Joe Gallagher, Alex Govan & Garry Pendrey. Jasper simply said as he began his speech “Oh, er Alex McLeish sends his apologies (boos and hisses from crowd)…yes he’s in hospital apparently – he’s got a bad side! (HUGE cheer and uproarious laughter).”

Saturday March 10
My 18-hour day of the week, typically.

More often than not, due to the need to be at talkSPORT Towers to host my evening show every Saturday, I’m usually given the early kick-off to report on first, provided it’s geographically friendly to the studios in Southwark. Today, it’s my 1st visit of the season to the Ricoh to watch Coventry & Birmingham battle out a fairly dour 1-1 draw.

I’m there in good time to be first in the press room breakfast queue with my old boss Tom Ross from BRMB Sport, the man who gave me my big break in radio back in 1997, and is never going to let me forget it. Ever :o)

I’m accused of many things as a Birmingham fan who gets to report on his team ‘on many occasions’ as Trevor Francis would put it. On one hand I’m lambasted for supposedly being soft on bad Blues performances or conversely heaping praise where it isn’t justified. I leaned pretty early on that you can’t win by trying to pander to those who seek to attack your every word and aren’t happy unless they’re miserable. And I’ve always called the games as I see them anyway, so nothing has changed in my approach.

It is possible to be fair and even handed when delivering your reports on air to Adrian on days like this – that is not to say that you don’t let a ‘fucking hell’ go out under your breath when Gary McSheffrey (for example) scores a goal against your boys before you’re on air. That’s called being a football fan – but it doesn’t mean that you can’t see the goal from a Coventry fan’s perspective (Baker’s neat run & cross; McSheffrey’s accurately placed looping header) as well as a Birmingham one (not enough pressure on the cross; possession squandered all to easily in own half) and a neutral one that the listeners also need to hear (goal against general run of play; game needed a goal as there’d been only 1 shot on target before that 70th minute moment)

No time to collate post match audio as the M6/M1 is calling to take me down to talkSPORT to start my prep work for a 9pm start on air. I don’t have a huge production team behind me to produce 3 hours of live radio, but what I lack in quantity I more than make up for in quality. Dan, my talkSPORT producer is as enthusiastic as he is diligent and structures the show with a fine toothcomb so that all debating points on the day’s games are covered in depth. Izzy, the assistant producer, puts together a comprehensive stat pack of results/form/tables/lineups for both myself and my co-host (in this case the wonderful Alvin Martin) as well as booking guests to come on the phone for a natter. I wouldn’t change them for the world.

I also have a top roster of co-hosts that we’ve used since the Football First show moved from its former home on Sunday evenings – Alvin tonight, but it could just as easily be Ray Houghton, Marc Bircham, Stewart Robson, Nicky Summerbee, Jason Euell…Alvin, though, was my first talkSPORT radio ‘wife’ as it were and he’s still consistently erudite and honest with his opinions without ever straying into safe platitudes or clichés. He leaves that sort of bollocks to me.

Most Barclays Premier League managers are in no way interested in talking on air at 9 on a Saturday night, but Championship, L1 & L2 bosses (and players) are usually very forthcoming – Dave Jones joins us to discuss how Sheffield Weds feels “a lot like Villa” in terms of its setup and aura and Gary Johnson makes the point that the phrase ‘never go back’ hasn’t bothered him one bit at Yeovil.

The show is my baby and I’m very protective of its structure and role within the station’s output. You’re always asking yourself afterwards if you could have done it any better, and that for me has to be healthy, as you know you’ll be striving for perfection every time. I was taught very early on in my radio career that the 2 worst words you can use (aside from the obvious) are ‘err’ and ‘umm’ – you listen out for how many radio presenters in speech and music formats say ‘em – it’s frightening.

To be fair, the show is that much fun, it usually flies by and before I know it, the M11 becomes my route to head for my Partridge-esque accommodation for the night – there’s no trouser press, no unintelligible Geordie maintenance staff and no sign of Driving Miss Daisy (or Bangkok Chick Boys) on my television. There is however on small soap tablet which may or may not be able to withstand one aggressive all-over body scrub. Watch this space. Sleep.

Sunday March 11
Well the soap survived the vigorous attack I gave it (no more details required surely) but the Little Chef next door wasn’t taken in by my big plate scam. Oh well.

Drive to Norwich with Thetford Forest bathed in the most glorious spring sunshine – feels like end-of-season weather, really. Whether it’s end of season for Wigan at the bottom of the table will become more apparent by 6pm tonight.

As it turns out Wigan’s woes are shown up in the ensuing 90 minutes – wasteful from great positions all too often. Norwich ‘keeper John Ruddy wins the Man of the Match award but to me he wasn’t tested to his fullest extent, although Shaun Maloney, a forgotten man from his Aston Villa & Celtic days, makes a very telling cameo appearance from the bench to set up Wigan’s equaliser.

Martin Tyler makes a point of coming over to say hello after full time as reporters gather by the tunnel to interview the managers. He always seems so at ease with things and I should imagine a night out in his company would be gently riotous entertainment for his ‘on the road’ stories alone – the fact that he has the time to acknowledge someone who isn’t fit to touch the hem of his garment is quite humbling.

And so to the drive back home – I’d forgotten how interminably dull the A47 was – my in car DAB system steadfastly refuses to work and my enjoyment of talkSPORT’s rugby show is thus severely hampered by medium wave wow and flutter. Still, upon checking Twitter as I finally arrive back in Solihull 3 ½ hours later, I see Iwan Roberts mentioning that we’d met up at Carrow Road and that I ‘always talk sense’

Bless him. Just looking back over these 3000-odd words, though, I think ‘always waffle sense’ might be more appropriate. But then I’m fragile like that.

My Week: Sergei Kerzhakov

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The FWA continues its world tour…from the sunshine of Buenos Aires last week we travel to shivering Moscow

Sergei Kerzhakov, a Moscow-based freelance football writer, on how to draw 1-1 yet lose 3-0…how Muscovites deal with bad weather…and an anonymous Arshavin

MONDAY FEBRUARY 27
After Roman Pavlyuchenko, Andrei Arshavin became the second North Londoner to return home. While Pavlyuchenko signed for Lokomotiv Moscow from Spurs for £8 million, Arshavin is on loan to his first club, Zenit St Petersburg, until the end of the season though the Russian champions are paying a fee of £1 million and the player’s wages. That should help Arsenal’s finances even more.

Arshavin may find himself in familiar territory – the subs’ bench. Zenit coach Luciano Spalletti has made it clear Arshavin, captain when he was there before his move to Arsenal, is not guaranteed a place but the injury to Portuguese playmaker Danny will help his chances. Spalletti’s tactics are “one for all, all for one” where the whole team attacks and the whole team defends. The latter has not always been Arshavin’s strength but this is a deal that benefits all parties though Arsenal fans will have to find someone else to boo. Sorry Theo.

In Russia we have a league of two halves. The league traditionally went from March to November. This will be altered ahead of the 2012/13 season, with the league running autumn to spring. The transitional season of the competition began in early 2011 and will continue until the summer of 2012. After the 16 Premier League teams had played each other twice over the course of 2011, they were split into two groups of eight (Chris Samba’s new club, Anzi Makhachkala just sneaked in the top eight, no doubt a major consideration in his move) and the teams will play other teams in their groups two more times for a total of 44 games. The two groups will be contested in the coming months, with the top eight clubs playing for the title and European places.

There is more but I’ll stop there. I think Einstein may be needed to work it all out.

TUESDAY FEBRUARY 28
Tomorrow Russia play Denmark in Copenhagen, so another popular player in England, Niklas Bendtner, will be opposing Arshavin. In fact, Bendtner left a note for his former Arsenal team-mate in his hotel – “Hey mate, look forward to see you.” It was printed in some Russian newspapers, maybe a slow news day.

It is a meeting of two of Europe’s in-form sides. Denmark have seven wins and two draws in their last nine games, Russia are also unbeaten in nine with five wins and four draws. The friendly comes at what is effectively the end of our pre-season. Anoraks will be delighted to know this is the first meeting of the two countries, the last time they played 20 years ago we were the CIS.

The pitch, or lawn as it is literally translated from Russian, at the Parkstadion is changed three times a year because of pop concerts and motorcycle events.

While England have, in Joe Hart, as good a goalkeeper in the world as any country, Dick Advocaat’s top two keepers, Vyacheslav Malafeev and Igor Akinfeev, are injured. Anzi’s Vladimir Gabulov is likely to play against Denmark. Thomas Sorensen of Stoke wins his 100th cap; Euro 2012 will be his fifth major finals with the Danes.

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 29
It is minus four degrees here today and while an inch of snow can paralyse England, in Moscow life goes on as usual in far more adverse conditions. From the early hours of the morning an army of snegoborochnaya mashina – snowploughs – start to clear the roads and pavements. Around 55,000 city council workers can be on snow-duty, not using hi-tech equipment, just spades and brushes.

The secret is: we prepare. Okay, we know every winter will be harsh, that from November to March it will be cold. Very cold. There may be many aspects of life where England leads the way but when it comes to the weather we are streets – perhaps literally – ahead.

Most Muscovites do not have to worry about heavy central heating bills, the local council pays them. They control the radiators which are on 24/7 so while it may be cold outside, indoors can be like saunas.

I watched the match from Copenhagen with some friends and Russia were impressive in winning 2-0 in the Parkenstadion where the roof was closed. Arshavin scored the second goal, his first for the national team in two and a half years though Sorensen should have saved it.

The result and display pleased captain Arshavin who said: “I think the fans and experts will be happy with the team’s movement and pressing. In general, a win over such an educated team, a participant of European finals, is prestigious.”

Russians are certainly in a better mood football-wise than the English tonight.

THURSDAY MARCH 1
Yuri Zhirkov, the former Chelsea player who is now with Anzi, has been in court. His former agent Victor Halapurdin claims he is owed more than £2 million by Zhirkov from his transfer to Chelsea from CSKA in 2009. This is interesting. Clubs, for reasons few can understand, normally pay the agent’s fee, in this case 11 per cent of the transfer fee which is a nice way to earn a lot of money. Quite why Halapurdin would [allegedly] be owed money by Zhirkov for the move I have no idea, maybe we shall find out in time.

FRIDAY MARCH 2
In their preview to the new season which starts tomorrow the Moscow Times said that “Anzhi Makhachkala, last year’s biggest spender among Russian football squads, didn’t make any top-level acquisitions during the recent transfer campaign, apart from hiring coach Guus Hiddink.” That would have gone down well with Chris Samba who cost the Dagestani club £10 million.

Another former UK-based player, ex-Arsenal midfielder Alexander Hleb joined Krylya while Everton midfielder Diniyar Bilyaletdinov signed for Spartak Moscow.

Champions Zenit and runners-up CSKA, who meet in Moscow, are again expected to be the main contenders in the new-look league set-up. Last year the teams drew 1-1 but the Russian Football Federation awarded Zenit a technical 3-0 defeat. Zenit coach Spaletti had not included a home-bred player – a Russian citizen – aged under 21. It was not the first time Zenit had broken the rules. They had previously escaped a 3-0 technical defeat after fielding one foreign player too many during a game against Lokomotiv. However, on this occasion it was deemed the referee was at fault. Refs are blamed for many things but…

SATURDAY MARCH 3
Andrey Arshavin’s first game for Zenit on loan against CSKA lasted 55 anonymous minutes. CSKA goalkeeper Sergei Revyakin will certainly not forget his debut. He was beaten by Alexander Kerzhakov after only 18 seconds with Kerzhakov scoring again with a second-half volley before CSKA hit back to draw 2-2. Revyakin was thrown in the deep end because CSKA’s two senior goalkeepers were unavailable. He won praise for an outstanding display, not bad for a 16-year-old. Yes, 16. The result left Zenit six points ahead of CSKA in what amounts to a double-season.

Roman Pavlyuchenko lasted a little longer than Arshavin as Lokomotiv beat Kuban 2-0 – 62 minutes but it was a mostly invisible return to the Russian Premier League.

SUNDAY MARCH 4
To the surprise of nobody, Roman Abramovich has sacked another Chelsea manager. People in England know little about Abramovich because of his public silence and it is the same here. We have been following his court case with Boris Berezovsky with interest but best not to say what the public perception of the Chelsea owner is, which may give you a clue.

My Week: Rex Gowar

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This week the FWA takes a winter break and travels to the sunshine of Buenos Aires

Reuters’ Rex Gowar on interviewing a stunning lioness, the English theatre of football and 15 red cards

MONDAY FEBRUARY 20

As I started this new “challenge”, I couldn’t help thinking of the contrast in temperatures with what I’d seen on the box on Sunday – Gus Poyet and my old amigo Mauricio Taricco all wrapped up on the B&HA bench at Anfield while we’re sweating down here in the higher 30s Celsius.

Started with a routine check of Latin American websites to see where the weekend story was outside the main leagues in Argentina, Brazil and Mexico. It turned out to be Peru. The first weekend of the championship was chaotic with the professional players on strike and teams fielding their junior sides or none at all while the conflict between the players’ union and the league clubs over their wage debts raged on.

A couple of other stories cropped up so I was mostly stuck to the laptop at home, in the kitchen where I get the most light, accompanied by a good Malbec in the evening.

TUESDAY FEBRUARY 21

More on Peru and the effect of the players’ strike on the national side preparing to meet Tunisia in a friendly in Rades as part of their preparations for the next round of World Cup qualifiers in June — followed by the Copa Libertadores at night.

Three nights a week of Libertadores group stage matches involves a lot of juggling – whether to stay up late for a wrap of the action or do a reaction piece the next morning. Sod’s Law is that the night I decide not to stay up for the late match is when five payers are sent-off or the crowd causes some sort of mayhem.

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 22

The interference of other sports meant I had to move away from football today but it was a sacrifice I made in the name of professionalism. Went to see Las Leonas (lionesses), Argentina’s world champion women’s hockey team – most of them would not be out of place on a catwalk – begin their preparations for the Olympic Games where they will be one of Britain’s chief rivals for the gold medal. Did an interview with one of them and then headed for the Buenos Aires Lawn Tennis Club -where all the courts are clay – for the Buenos Aires Open, Argentina’s ATP tournament. Reuters wants copy on the semi-finals and final so I just sat in the sun and enjoyed a Franco-Swiss second round match.

THURSDAY FEBRUARY 23

As the demand from editors for Olympic-related copy increases, I was involved in planning a feature on Brazil’s obsession with the football gold medal, the one major title to have escaped them so far. This year they won’t have holders Argentina to contend with as they did not qualify but Uruguay go back for the first time since winning the second of their golds in 1928. The story will be written by one of the Reuters reporters in Sao Paulo – in English which is a relief. I cover the Brazilian League with the help of a young Rio reporter who sends me his copy in Portuguese and I put it into English, a routine weekend task when the 27 state championships end and the Brasileirao (big Brazilian) national first division kicks-off in May.

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 24

This is the day I stand the best chance of taking off but I couldn’t help getting back to the Leonas for another interview. Professionalism shines through.

The Friday routine, though, is to meet with three colleagues, and sometimes more, for lunch at a grill in the Palermo barrio called La Dorita. We happen, since the middle of last year, to all be supporters of second division sides, three of us River Plate and one Huracan, both relegated last June. And the restaurant – I’m not sure why the others chose it before I came back to Buenos Aires in 2009 – is a haven of arch-rivals Boca Juniors bedecked with blue and yellow memorabilia including a framed shirt signed by Martin Palermo.

We are two from Reuters, one ex-Reuters now working in radio as a tennis specialist and one ex-DPA now at sports daily Ole and the topics – women and futbol. Early last year the three of us who are River fans decided to write a book about JJ Lopez, a great former midfielder who was the coach we thought would prevent us from the drop. As, after defeat by Boca in April, it became increasingly likely we would be relegated, we let the plan drift away so losing what had been a regular lunch topic.

This Friday, we talked about English football and another old friend, Ossie Ardiles, got two mentions. First because he is a former player of Huracan and fan Federico Coronado spoke proudly about Huracan FC London, a Sunday League team who came to Buenos Aires on tour last year.

Then Luis Ampuero of Reuters said what he didn’t like about English football was the tactical rigidity and lack of spontaneity of the kind you get from players like Ardiles and Sergio Aguero “whose goals nearly always come from a jinking run”. On the other hand, he said, Argentina had the often chaotic organisation of the game and the violence of fans that England had cured. “Really,” he said, and brought his hands together in an arc, “football in the two countries is not so different.” He added: “I love the setting of the matches in England, it’s like theatre.”

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 25

Covered the tennis semi-finals and Cruyff’s appointment as a consultant of Guadalajara, a surprise story that cropped up late at night (we are two hours ahead of Mexico), while keeping an eye on the Argentine league programme. Referees dished out 15 red cards on the previous two weekends ( in 20 matches) in a clampdown on players’ general poor behavior announced before the Clausura championship started on February 10.

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 26

An all-Spanish tennis final in Buenos Aires, a new colonialism? David Ferrer beat last year’s winner Nicolas Almagro. There were no red cards in the five matches on Friday and Saturday, but Sunday’s four games produced four so the chances are that with one game to go on Monday night we’re looking at an improvement.

My Week: Paul Camillin

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Brighton & Hove Albion’s head of media, Paul Camillin, on putting Des Lynam straight…running out of bacon butties…and being hit for six…

MONDAY FEBRUARY 13
For most of the supporters the focus is on this Sunday’s FA Cup fifth round tie at Liverpool, but for Gus Poyet and the Brighton & Hove Albion players the Tuesday night visit of Millwall to the Amex is the top priority (at least until 9.45pm on Tuesday). It’s an early start to the week at the Amex and after writing Gus’s notes with him for Tuesday’s match programme, it’s off to the regular pre-match press conference with the manager and two players. If there are any players who have a link with the opponents, they’re usually put up for the various media to speak to, but with no obvious candidates, it’s skipper Gordon Greer and Adam El-Abd. No surprises for either of them, although after the Suarez-Evra saga the previous Saturday, Gus gets one question as to whether he is expecting any handshake problems at the Amex the following evening. Gus – who has stood up for his compatriot throughout the whole affair – tells the press he is pleased that Luis Suarez and Liverpool have apologised after the events at Old Trafford, and that he thinks that should draw a line under the whole saga.

Monday evening sees the airing of a piece on Albion midfielder Gary Dicker, currently recovering from a broken leg suffered in the autumn. BBC London’s Late Kick Off team has been filming the Irishman throughout his recovery and rehabilitation, and Chris Slegg’s piece is an intriguing insight into the lot of a player suffering from a long-term injury. These regional programmes across the BBC network are an excellent part of the Beeb’s coverage of the Football League, along with the Football League Show, the local radio coverage (expertly done at Brighton by Johnny Cantor and his team at BBC Sussex) and the brilliant BBC Sport Online coverage; hopefully the BBC cuts will not see this affected next season, as the TV and internet deal really has raised the profile of the Football League.

TUESDAY FEBRUARY 14
Millwall are the visitors to the Amex, and before kick-off both clubs sign up to the government’s anti-homophobia charter – which has also been signed by all 20 Barclays Premier League clubs. At Brighton & Hove, because the city has a large gay population, fans are often subjected to a raft of homophobic abuse on an all-too-regular basis; ranging from the boring and banal “does your boyfriend know your here” or “we can see you holding hands” right through to much more graphic and vile abuse. Many of those visiting fans, who sing along in the name of banter, don’t realise that homophobic abuse is against the law. Sussex Police together with the club are committed to tackling this problem and over the course of the season have have ejected or arrested a number of ringleaders – but I’m sorry to say the anti-homophobia movement remains a long way behind football’s anti-racism work, which has proved such a success since its launch over 20 years ago. Homophobic abuse is too easily passed off as harmless banter, and to be successful it needs buy in from the authorities and all 92 clubs, to educate players and fans that homophobic abuse is not only against the law, but totally unacceptable in modern society. On the pitch, a late equaliser by Kazenga LuaLua secures a point in an entertaining 2-2 draw, as the team maintains their unbeaten start to 2012. Sadly, after their club signed up to the charter pre-match, a section of Millwall’s following let down the South London club: seven men are arrested, for various offences including homophobic chanting.

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 15
There’s an early morning call and request from the local BBC station Radio Sussex for someone from the club to go onto the breakfast show to speak about the club signing the anti-homophobia charter – and we are happy to oblige. Later in the day, Des Lynam, one of Albion’s most famous fans checks in with us to check out some facts for a piece he is writing ahead of the FA Cup match. The former Match of the Day front man had interviewed Gus for his weekly column in the Daily Telegraph the previous Thursday, and is on the phone to touch base after the weekend win at Leeds United and the game with Millwall.

THURSDAY FEBRUARY 16
Another early start, and a busy day as all the daily papers converge on the weekly press call at the Amex to look ahead to the weekend’s game against Liverpool at Anfield – and because the game is on the Sunday, there are also the Sunday papers to cater for, with a separate player and media briefing session with Gus to give them some fresh stories for the day of the match. We have so many media men in the building that we run out of bacon butties, and have to send an urgent request to the kitchens for more… well we can’t have the press going hungry! Liverpudlian duo Craig Noone and Alan Navarro speak to the daily papers. Nooney’s story was told several times ahead of the Carling Cup meeting between the two clubs: during his days spent working as a roofer while playing part-time at Southport, the Seagulls winger worked on the roof of Steven Gerrard’s house. However, Nav’s tale is a new one: he grew up six doors from Anfield, where mum Maria still lives, and he played in the age group beneath Gerrard – however less than a year ago his career was in the balance following a second serious knee injury. He speaks glowingly of Liverpool and the positive affect of Gerard Houllier during his time at the club; he also tells the media how he expects the Suarez saga to blow over and denies the twitter rumours (largely put about by the rest of the Albion squad) that the Anfield cat escaped from his family’s house!

Along with Gus, Albion’s wing wizard Will Buckley is put forward for the Sundays to speak to, and the club’s match-winner against Newcastle in the fourth round also chats to Kelly Cates – the daughter of Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish – for ESPN’s pre-match coverage. Kelly catches the eye of the Amex ground staff, who are more than happy to oblige when asked to set up a goal net as a back drop for the interview – but only on the proviso that she will pose for a picture after she’s interviewed Will.

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 17
[Well earned] day off.

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 18
Albion’s media department, along with other members of the Albion board and admin staff, set off for Merseyside early on Saturday morning. We are fortunate to have tickets for the Everton v Blackpool game at Goodison Park, via our Everton-supporting managing director Ken Brown. So after checking into the hotel it’s nice just to sit back, relax and simply watch a game of football for a change; but in all honesty it’s all over after six minutes as Everton storm into a 2-0 lead. After the game we head into the city for dinner, and get a first glimpse of the regenerated centre, with a fabulous array of shops, restaurants and bars.

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 19
Whatever the result this afternoon, Albion know they are in the draw for the sixth round for the first time since 1986 and only the fourth time in the club’s history – due to the quarter-final draw taking place 20 minutes before kick-off. That makes for a busy pre-match period. Typically, we get the teams an hour before kick-off, and after getting the team news out via the website, twitter and other channels, it’s time to do the same with the news of the FA Cup draw. Albion (or Liverpool) are ball number one – and for the third round in a row, the Seagulls are the first tie drawn! The prize for winning the fifth-round tie is a home draw against Stoke City.

There is just enough time to take our seats before the evocative sight and sound of the Kop joining in with You’ll Never Walk Alone. It’s the ultimate pre-match anthem, unmatched in football, and it’s great to see the 6000 Albion fans getting involved by holding their scarves aloft in the away end.

The first 43 minutes aside, in which Kazenga LuaLua cancels out Martin Skrtel’s opener with a thunderous effort in front of the Kop – the game is one to forget for the Seagulls, who suffer at the hands of a rampant Liverpool, with Suarez virtually unplayable, and even upstaging the excellent Steven Gerrard. The Red machine is in full effect, but the score does flatter Liverpool a touch; even Kenny Dalglish admits so much in his post-match press conference, and his comments are more affording to the Seagulls than his post-match remarks earlier in the season. However Gus does not pull any punches, and in typical honest fashion he tells the media his team were average at best and says the mistakes made by his side were comical.

Nonetheless, after such a disappointing and heavy defeat it is easy to forget just what Gus and his team have achieved in such a short space of time: going from League One relegation battlers to an established Championship side, with a chance making the end-of-season play-offs… that quest continues at Hull City on Wednesday night.

My Week: Alex Pearce

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Reading defender Alex Pearce on a wasted journey, a missing Russian and wearing tights on Saturday night…

Monday February 6

Normally Monday is a day when the physio treats the players for any knocks, bumps and bruises they have collected during Saturday’s game. Today is different. There’s nothing to recover from except a long coach journey up north to Doncaster on Friday and a long journey back home again the next day. The game was called off because of a frozen pitch.

There was an inspection on Friday and we were told the match was on so we set off as usual at 1.30 pm after training and made the long journey by coach to our hotel. We were just about getting up on Saturday morning when a message came through at 10.30 am to say the game was off. I was rooming with Andy Griffin as my usual room-mate, Hal Robson Kanu, didn’t travel due to the injury he is currently unfortunately ruled out with.

We were both so disappointed to hear that he game was called off – a feeling felt by the whole team as the news of the postponement travelled around the hotel. We gathered our things and boarded the coach for the long journey home, which was made a tiny bit better by the Wagamama’s takeaway that a few of the lads had picked up on our way to the coach.

If it’s annoying for us players it is surely even worse for our supporters. Reading have a loyal away following and fans will have paid £20 to get on an official coach leaving from the ground at 9.15 am and paid around £22 for a ticket. It was great to hear later that several of the travelling fans diverted to West Bromwich to watch our former players Shane Long and Gylfi Sigurdsson in action.

Most of the players were pretty certain it was going to be off but our Irish international striker Noel Hunt wasn’t too unhappy because he was able to catch up on a few films during the journeys. He was also amused to see Sky Sports News giving the latest score as 0-0 and took a photo on his phone that he later tweeted to his followers on the social networking site Twitter. I can’t believe he’s got almost 17,000 followers on that thing. I don’t have a Twitter account myself, but I know a few of the Reading lads do.

Tuesday February 7

The players are still wondering how far our supporters got before Saturday’s postponement and how much they will be out of pocket. I suppose it depends where they were before the coach turned back whether they get a refund on the fare. Many cannot make the same trip in midweek because of their jobs but we think Doncaster may refund tickets that are not wanted.

The postponement was a real shame for our new signings Jason Roberts, Tomasz Cywka and Matthew Connolly, who were all hoping to get some time on the pitch as they settle in to the club. It also meant that the three new lads will have to wait until the next away game to perform their ‘songs’ to the squad and staff.

It’s a tradition at Reading that new players have to stand on a chair and sing a song of their choice in front of everyone during the pre-match meal. It’s a very funny occasion that gets everyone in good spirits and is great for team camaraderie. I remember when it was my turn to do this…I played it safe and went for an Oasis song. I’m looking forward to hearing what Jason, Tomasz and Matthew come up with. They’ve got a bit longer to practise now so the pressure’s on.

With eight wins from 11 league games we are top of the Championship form table and we were hoping to keep the momentum going but instead it was all a bit of a waste and all we can do now is start preparing for our next game, at home to Coventry.

Tuesday morning is also when a couple of players are nominated to meet local newspaper reporters to answer their questions. This gives them a story or two for their midweek editions. They are informal affairs and the reporters are usually pretty fair to us, although Ian Harte has been known to moan at them about his match ratings.

Wednesday February 8

We are all eagerly awaiting the chance to meet our new owner sometime this week. A 29-year-old Russian billionaire’s son named Anton Zingarevich has agreed to buy 51 per cent of the club’s shares for £25 million and we have heard that he is likely to fly into the UK to see us. The deal will not be completed until March but it seems his money has allowed our boss Brian McDermott to bring some new players in and keep hold of key performers instead of selling them to raise cash.

Our Mali international winger Jimmy Kebe has signed a new contract after holding out for a long while and that’s good news. He says it is because the club is now showing ambition and not because he was offered more money. We were all really pleased to see Jimmy sign and at least it will stop my team-mate Jay Tabb winding him up. Before Jimmy signed Tabby would greet him every morning at training with the comment “You still here then Jim?”

I did a question and answer session with our programme editor recently about the people we would invite to a dinner party. It’s just a bit of fun for one of the features in the match-day programme. One question was who we would get to do the washing up and I nominated Jimmy. Among my guests were Roger Federer, Noel Gallagher, Lady Gaga and Peter Kay. Dream on!!

We normally get Wednesdays off which is great as it gives us a chance to rest and recover. I usually pop down to the local swimming pool and stretch off in the water or do a light session in the gym. Today I followed that up with a Nando’s takeaway. I’ve seen that Reading are auctioning a Nando’s Date with Noel on eBay. What a great idea. All the money raised goes to charity so hopefully it will raise lots of cash, though you’d have to pay ME to go to Nando’s with Noel! (Just kidding, he’s doing wonderful things with his charity work.)

Thursday February 9

It’s the big press conference of the week, although the use of “big” is probably misleading. Basically it’s a chance for the media to get material for their preview pieces in advance of the Saturday game, but there are usually only three reporters in attendance and that’s the same today.

Matt Sadler from the Reading Evening Post surprises everybody by announcing that he is leaving the paper to work in the media department at Wycombe Wanderers. I suppose it’s good news for the reporters who cover Wycombe that they will now be dealing with a “proper” journalist who understands the way things work for the media.

Tim Dellor is there for Radio Berkshire, warming everyone up on a cold day by recounting tales of the time he was coach to the Greek national cricket team. I am never sure whether Tim is a cricket coach who does some local radio work or a radio journalist who does some cricket coaching.

Meridian TV has sent a cameraman but not a reporter so our Head of Communications Craig Mortimer-Zikha steps in to ask the questions. There’s also local freelance, Brian Roach, hoping for the day when a Reading manager reveals that he is about to take over from Sir Alex at Manchester United, or Arsenal. It never happens!

Our gaffer always attends and today there are three players there, too. Noel Hunt because he has been nominated for a PFA Player in the Community Award, Joseph Mills because he has just signed a new contract and Jem Karacan because he hadn’t done it for a while and it’s his turn.

Because of the frozen pitches at Hogwood we then go off to train on the artificial pitch at the Sir John Madejski Academy, a school named after our chairman which is most famous for educating my favourite comedian Ricky Gervais. I saw him live when he did his “Science” tour. He’s very funny.

Friday February 10

Friday is when we work on set pieces designed with the specific opposition in mind. We work on our set-up defending corners, attacking corners, on free-kicks and similar situations. The gaffer will have talked us through the team beforehand so that we can prepare together for the game.

He has a real problem keeping all the players happy because everyone wants to be in the side and that’s impossible. Our goalkeeping situation at Reading is a good example of the manager’s task. Earlier in the season we had four keepers who could all justify a claim for the starting spot. How could he keep them all happy? The situation was eased when Ben Hamer moved to Charlton on a permanent basis and Alex McCarthy went on loan to Leeds and now to Ipswich. That leaves Aussie international Adam Federici as the first choice keeper and our great Dane Mikkel Andersen on the bench.

We are fortunate at Reading because we have a real team ethic and the lads not in the side always support those who are. There are still rumours about loan signings coming in but the gaffer has slammed the door shut on media claims that he was trying to sign Owen Hargeaves, saying it’s just not true.

Another day when training is disrupted by the weather. Frozen pitches at Hogwood force us to train elsewhere. It’s not ideal but we get what we need to done. The sessions on Fridays are usually light as we prepare for the weekend’s game.

Fridays for me involve training, pasta (lots of), sleep (again, lots of) and little else.

Saturday February 11

Today sees us host Coventry who are bottom of the table. After an easy morning and a pre-match meal of more pasta I leave for the ground, with Powerade in good supply. I enjoy the drive to stadium as it’s the time when I start to really get my game face on and begin psyching myself up mentally. I put some music on (Drake’s my artist of choice at the moment) and get in the zone. By the time that I arrive at the stadium a few Good Luck texts have come through but then it’s phone off and time to focus.

Today some games in the Championship are postponed because of the weather and most of the games in Divisions One and Two are also off. Undersoil heating at the Madejski Stadium means our game is never in doubt and the roads around the stadium have been gritted to make them safe for the public.

I notice Doncaster’s away game is off so their players will soon start to forget what it’s like to play in a competitive match. I really miss not playing, even in the summer when we’re off, so I’d be disappointed if I was a Donnie player.

For the first 20 minutes Coventry more than match our reshuffled side. Injuries meant that Matt Connolly made his debut at right-back after joining from QPR and Joseph Mills played on the left side of midfield instead of his usual full-back position. With Jimmy Kebe and Mikele Leigertwood making their first appearances after recovering from injuries we start slowly.

Eventually goals from Jimmy and Jason Roberts see us to a 2-0 win and leave us in seventh place in the Championship table with a game in hand over some of those above us. So now it is nine wins in the last 12, form that we’re very proud of. Federici made three wonder saves in the second-half to show why he emerged on top of that pile of goalkeepers. Personally I felt I had a decent game and as a defender it is always good news when the team keeps a clean sheet.

My Saturday night plans depend on the result. It’s a great feeling after a win, and I usually go for a nice meal with my family to celebrate. Today I’m off home to put my feet up and ice my ankle. Don’t worry, it’s just precautionary. I got a little knock to it during the game but it’s nothing serious. The recovery tights go on as I wait for Match of the Day and the Football League Show to begin.

Sunday February 12

Normally a day of rest but the vagaries of the fixture list and television demands mean we can’t take it too easy. Because of the Doncaster postponement we had played just once in a fortnight. Now we have three games in seven days.

Having seen off Coventry yesterday we have to travel up to Derby tomorrow for a Tuesday night game. It’s still so cold outside so fingers crossed it won’t affect our travels or the game. Then we entertain Burnley on Friday night in a match that is being shown live on TV. Playing so many games in such a short space of time means that players cannot recover from minor knocks in the same way they could with a week between matches.

That’s where the squad will come into play and some of the players who have been on the fringes will start to get their chance. The manager might decide he needs fresh legs anyway so we could also see some changes that have not been forced on him. It’s perfectly true that players prefer to play rather than train, but three games in seven days is tough on the body and I have no doubt that the 11 who play in the third game will be different from the side that started the first.

As a player you always want your team to win, but there is a downside to that. If you miss a game or two because of injury the lads might have a couple of good wins. The manager will stick with a winning side and you just have to sit on the bench and be patient as you wait for a chance to get back in the side. I have been fortunate enough to be a regular this season alongside Kaspars Gorkss, but one thing I know for sure – in football you can never take anything for granted.

Today is all about sitting in the warm and watching the games on TV, perhaps with a nice roast dinner if I’m lucky. Tomorrow we head to Derby so our attention will turn to that tough fixture at Pride Park, one I’m looking forward to.

P.S. Still no sign of Anton Zingarevich

P.P.S The ankle is fine today.

Alex Pearce is a centre-back aged 23. He was spotted by Reading at 12 and came through the Academy ranks to sign pro in 2006. He made his first team debut in January 2007.This season he has made 30 starts for the Royals, scoring three goals.

My Week: Jim White

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The Daily Telegraph’s Jim White on taking the Piers…a burglary and the other Jim White

Monday January 30
I’m in the stately surrounds of Warrington Town Hall for the Gary Speed inquest. Sombre is barely adequate as an adjective to describe the mood. The Speed family are here looking bereft, drawn and above all utterly bewildered. There’s a huge media presence, too, reflecting the interest the case generated. The public affection unleashed on his passing demonstrated there is a real thirst for answers.

But those hoping for clarity are unlucky. As the coroner Mr Nicholas Rheinberg delivers a narrative verdict, we are no nearer finding explanation as to why a man apparently with so much to live for chose to take his own life. He left no note, an extensive trawl of his computer and mobile phone by the police uncovered no apparent motive, none of those closest to him detected any change in his demeanour in his final hours. He had no history of mental health issues. When Mr Rheinberg asks his widow Louise if she can think of anything that might have provoked her husband into killing himself she can only slowly shake her head and tearfully whisper “no”.

One thing is certain, however: none of the lurid internet stories that filled the information vacuum immediately after his death had any connection to the truth. In a week in which the likes of Joey Barton and Stan Collymore have been championing new media’s superiority over old, it was a sobering reminder that standards of reporting are wildly different out there on the web. Irresponsible some newspapers might be, but not even the most scurrilous red top would repeat some of the stories that spun round social media in the wake of his death without doing the most rudimentary of checks. As Anthony Haylock, Speed’s brother-in-law, put it when he re-tweeted the following: “So, Gary Speed wasn’t gay, wasn’t having an affair and wasn’t facing tabloid exposure. Nice work Twitter.”

Mind you, the fact that the original message was sent by Piers Morgan, a man who made a lucrative career from low-grade tittle tattle, demonstrates that even in a case like this the moral high ground is seldom easily identified.

Tuesday January 31
t is transfer deadline day. Or, as Sky Sports News likes to call it: Jim White Day. My namesake, the silver haired Sky newsreader, has made something of a name for himself turning up the excitement dial to hysterical as the transfer window closes. And as he has done so, he has inadvertently made a name for me too. This morning my phone is already blinking with alerts to the several dozen who are now signed up to follow me on Twitter in the mistaken belief that I am that Jim White. I hope they’re not disappointed when none of the tweets they will subsequently receive from me are written in capital letters and concluded by half a dozen exclamation marks.

Plus, there is a text from an old girlfriend reading: “You’re famous! Check out page 45 of the Guardian”. And there indeed is a profile of Jim White. Though I have to wonder what sort of impression I must have made on her if she cheerily accepted the piece’s description of a “shouty Scotsman” as me.

But then, when it comes to the relative status of Jim Whites (and let’s be honest, both of us trail way behind Whirlwind Jimmy) I was long ago made aware of where I stand. Back in 1999, I was doing some work at STV just after the other JW had transferred to Sky. My then sports editor at the Guardian rang the switchboard in Glasgow in an attempt to track me down. When he asked to be put through to Jim White he was told by the lady on switchboard: “Well, we do have a Jim White in the building. But I have to tell you, he’s no’ the famous one.”

Wednesday February 1
In the office writing a column where I am distracted by the news that, ahead of their Super Bowl appearance, the New York Giants and New England Patriots have sold 8,000 tickets to enable fans to attend a press conference. Apparently the fans will sit in the stands and listen as the event is broadcast on the giant screens. It is an idea that no doubt will soon be borrowed by Barclays Premier League clubs, ever anxious to find new ways to buff up their bottom line. Though obviously at Old Trafford, half those fans hoping to attend the manager’s press briefing can expect to learn when they turn up that they have, in fact, been banned.

Thursday February 2
These days sports reporters need all the skills of the legal correspondent. I’m at Southwark Crown Court to watch Harry Redknapp give evidence in his tax case, and the public benches are packed with football writers struggling to get to grips with the requirements of not prejudicing a trial. How much easier it would be were we in a position to mock poor witness evidence or mark the prosecuting counsel out of ten for his cross examination performance. Instead we can make no comment at all, obliged simply report the facts. A struggle for some of us I can tell you.

Still, I can reveal that at one point the phone went off in the pocket of the bloke sitting next to me in the public gallery. It took him an age to find it and switch it off, giving the entire court the opportunity to be serenaded by several choruses of “Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur”. Lucky he wasn’t in the jury.

Plus, of all the evidence I hear today, this is the observation that sticks in the mind. It comes from Mick McGuire, who, when working for the PFA, used to negotiate Redknapp’s managerial contracts for him. He is talking about the time when he told his client that he was due a pay-off of £130,000 when he first walked out on Portsmouth. However, Redknapp replied that he didn’t want it. Was this unusual? McGuire is asked.

“Let’s put it this way,” he says. “In 22 years negotiating contracts, I never came across anyone in football who turned down any money they were legally entitled to.”

Friday February 3
Am woken up at six by my wife telling me we’ve been burgled. My laptop has been whipped off the kitchen table, together with mobiles, wallets and her bag. After contacting the police, the insurance and credit card companies, I dash off to London Colney for Arsene Wenger’s press conference with a creaking old laptop removed from a cupboard under my arm. I’m looking forward to hearing him discuss the threatened boycott by disillusioned Arsenal fans who intend to put rubbish bags on their seats during the forthcoming game with Blackburn. The good thing about Wenger is he never shies from a question, always addresses all concerns. He is, in short, good copy.

But when I arrive at Arsenal’s training base I discover that his press conference is already over. It was shifted to 9.30 o’clock this morning. Didn’t I get the email? asks an Arsenal press officer. Well, no I didn’t. But if you happen to be at a car boot sale this weekend and you pick up a newish Sony Vaio with a picture of the lesser Jim White on the wallpaper and an email from Arsenal in its inbox, perhaps you could forward it to me.

Saturday February 4
It’s my day off but I end up transfixed by Twitter. Joey Barton is adding further weight to his bold promotion of new media by giving – via several tweets this morning – his unflinching opinion of John Terry. It is pointed out to him – by Stan Collymore among many others – that the law prevents comment on a live court case. Given that with over a million followers he has more people reading him than several national newspapers, it is suggested maybe he ought to observe the rules of sub judice and not pass potentially prejudicial observation. Barton takes offence at these warnings, seeing it as a freedom of expression issue. He is damned if he will be silenced, he angrily announces more than once, quoting George Orwell in his defence.

By coincidence, at an event this week I chat with Matthew Syed, the erudite Times columnist who has been recently appointed as Barton’s ghost-writer for his autobiography. Maybe – in order to facilitate a rapid improvement in the situation – Syed could donate part of his planet-sized brain to his new collaborator.

Sunday February 5
At Stamford Bridge for Chelsea’s game with Manchester United. John Terry walks through the press room and stops for a chat with several reporters. Nobody mentions Barton’s Tweeting. Or indeed the court case. But we do learn that he is injured and that Chelsea will be without not only him but also Frank Lampard and Ashley Cole. It is a long, long time since all three of the nation’s favourite footballers have been missing from the blues line up and most in the press room predict an easy victory for Manchester United.

It doesn’t quite work out like that. Chelsea sprint into a three goal lead, the sparky Juan Mata looking particularly threatening. To recover their position as title challengers, United are obliged to launch the most scintillating comeback of the season. It is orchestrated by the immaculate passing of Paul Scholes, who comes on as substitute midway through the second half. Much of the pre-match discussion in the press room had been about the weather and the number of layers being worn to keep out the chill. As if to a fancy dress party on a wintry theme, the Mirror’s John Cross has come dressed as a duvet. I am wearing thermals and a jumper so thick it could double as a bullet-proof vest. Yet I am still freezing. I cannot help noticing that Scholes trots on to the pitch wearing short sleeves and eschewing all hint of glove, high-necked under-shirt or David Luiz-style tights. Clearly in Salford they mock the very concept of winter. And snigger at those who dress accordingly.