FWA Q&A: PHILIP QUINN

PHILIP QUINN, football correspondent of the Irish Daily Mail, on meeting himself…why a football writer was Man of the Match in Paris…and bunged up for a week at the Tour de France

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
No. Signed on as a freelance aged 17 in 1979 with the Evening Herald armed with notebook, pen, wide-eyed wonder and, crucially, a copy of the Dublin bus timetables. Nearly 35 years on, the wonder has never left me.

Most memorable match?
The Champions League final of 1999, even if the frantic rewrite, followed by city edition overhaul, meant myself and Paul Hyland (Evening Herald)turned the lights off at the Nou Camp.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
The Carlos Alberto goal in the 1970 World Cup final for Brazil. It had everything, intuitive teamwork, superb skill and a thunderous finish. It was joyously re-lived on Daytona Beach before the 1994 World Cup finals by myself, Paul Lennon (Irish Daily Star) and Gerry Thornley (Irish Times).Gerry, needless to say, played Pele.

Best stadium?
For history, Wembley. For sheer wow factor, the old Giants Stadium in New Jersey.

…and the worst?
Gortakeegan, home of Monaghan United, was an unpopular venue on the League of Ireland beat. The press box was on the open side of the pitch, flanked by a boggy field. More than once, bovine spectators ambled over for a mooch.

Your personal new-tech disaster? 
In Lithuania for a World Cup qualifier in the early 90’s, I didn’t save my match report on the computer and had to phone the copy in. Safe to say, not many Lithuanians got a mention. In the World Cup play-off in Paris in 2009, I thought I’d lost my copy at the final whistle. Paul Hyland tracked it down under the X-Files section, stuck it on a memory stick and sent it to the Irish Daily Mail for me. He was my Man of the Match that night.

Biggest mistake?
There’s been a few. When Mick McCarthy got the Irish manager’s job in 1996, the Irish Independent generously agreed I should go with him to Malta to see Russia play – Mick’s first game was against the Russians. I got as far as London, without a passport.  My colleagues, concealing mirth, flew on to the sunny Med without me.

In a conscientious mood, I once went to see Irish U21’s play in Jerez in 1993, while most of my colleagues stayed in our hotel in Seville 50 miles away to follow the game on TV over a beer. I sneered at their lack of professionalism. Ireland lost 3-1 and I got the Irish scorer wrong.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
At the FAI internationals awards dinner one year, I offered my hand to the man sitting opposite me. ‘Philip Quinn,’ I said. ‘Philip Quinn,’ came the reply. It was the dad of Barry Quinn, former Irish midfielder. I was gobsmacked. Being a baldy, I’ve been regularly slagged as Lombardo, after Attilo Lombardo, who could play a bit.

Most media friendly manager?
For the Republic of Ireland, Mick McCarthy was very giving of his time while Brian Kerr, in the mood, was the most insightful. As Reading manager Brian McDermott graciously returns my calls, he is the current No 1.

Best ever player? 
Pele, followed by Johann Cruyff. Lionel Messi is a cut above everyone else right now.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
As a kid, I grew up idolising the sky blue shirts of Manchester City. The team of Summerbee, Bell, Lee, under Tony Book’s captaincy and Joe Mercer’s management, remains my favourite, even if I suspect the current Barcelona side would, alas, pass them off the park.

The Dutch team of 74-78 were wondrous, as was Brazil in 82, but they faltered as World Cup glory beckoned, unlike the current Spanish side.

Best pre-match grub? 
Wembley, prior to 2009 FA Cup final, was exceedingly fine fare.

Best meal had on your travels?
It’s more the company I recall. If Roy Curtis (Sunday World) is at your table, things are always lively, no matter what’s being served. For a bet, Paul Hyland once put away a 28-ounce porterhouse steak in Orlando in the 94 World Cup, lying prostrate on a bench outside between gulps to get the job done. What a pro.

…and the worst?
I once had constipation for over a week in the Tour de France, which left me so bunged up I was unable to tuck in at night. It became a talking point to the extent that Sean Kelly got off his bike after seven hours of toil one day and asked ‘did Quinn make a s**t?’ In Lourdes, appropriately enough, the miracle happened.

Best hotel stayed in? 
One year on the Tour de France, myself and Jim McArdle (Irish Times) found ourselves billeted in a team hotel where we were joined for breakfast by Greg Lemond. Asking the three-time Tour winner and world champion to pass the croissants was a thrill.

…and the worst?
Apols to London, but I re-named a Best Western Hotel near Paddington which I stayed in all too frequently as the Worst Eastern. A working phone box would have been more agreeable.

Favourite football writer?
I hugely enjoyed Jonathan Wilson’s book ‘Behind The Curtain.’ Of the daily grinders, there is no finer companion, and no more eager newshound, than Colin Young of the Daily Mail. He always delivers.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
George ‘Danger Here’ Hamilton of RTÉ is a consummate all-round professional, adept at painting a picture at football, rugby and classical music. I miss the dulcet tones of the late Peter Jones. Remember Wimbledon 77? ‘And tonight Virginia Wade will have tea with the Queen.’ Magic.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
All we need is a seat, a team sheet and a match programme. After that, we’re on our own.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
The Masters at Augusta.

Last book read?
‘Penguins Stopped Play’ by the late Harry Thompson, a hilarious account of a globetrotting crew of village cricketers. Wish I’d been with them.

Favourite current TV programme?
Match of the Day. Was and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
A curling black and white photo with Diego Maradona taken in Seville in 1993. The great man didn’t speak a word of English, but was still extensively quoted in a page lead for the Irish Independent the next day.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
A notebook, pen and wide-eyed wonder still won’t go amiss. As for the bus timetables, there’s an app on the mobile for that now.

FWA Q&A: TIM RICH

TIM RICH of The Independent on heroin and incest…interviewing the wrong Kanoute…and a fabulous lunch in the occupied territories

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
I once ran a campsite in France and once worked, very inefficiently, filling bottles of shampoo at a factory where all work stopped for 10 minutes to listen to Simon Bates’ Our Tune.

Most memorable match?
It would be hard to look past the ridiculous Boys Own Story that was the 2005 European Cup final. The singing of You’ll Never Walk Alone at half time when AC Milan were 3-0 up is always mentioned, but equally there were some Liverpool fans who went over to the press box urging us to “give the team hell” for the humiliation they had put them through. I hope they didn’t leave; it was a long way back from the Ataturk to Istanbul.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
It would have to be Zinedine Zidane’s volley to win the 2002 European Cup final – the first I covered – for Real Madrid.

Best stadium?
The sight of St James’ Park on the Newcastle skyline seldom fails to move me, but as a working environment, the Allianz Arena in Munich is hard to beat. As a setting, the one in Braga that is built into the side of a quarry.

…and the worst?
The most disappointing is the Olympic Stadium in Barcelona, where Andorra played a couple of dreadful internationals against England. Soulless and, when we were there, soppingly wet.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
I prefer the old tech disasters. I used to cover cricket for the Sunderland Echo who employed a fabulous copytaker and one who was not fabulous and (a major disadvantage for copytaking) a bit deaf. Lines like “with the wicked playing increasingly badly” used to litter my copy.

Biggest mistake?
Describing John Bercow, the current speaker of the House of Commons, as someone who supported the legalisation of heroin and incest when he was chairman of the Federation of Conservative Students. He didn’t, it was one of his predecessors – an error that cost the Southend Evening Echo £20,000 in libel damages.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
No, but during the Africa Cup of Nations in 2004, I carried out an extensive interview in French with Frederic Kanoute only to realise midway through that I was talking to his brother. I became suspicious when his memories of Tottenham were becoming ever more vague.

Most media friendly manager?
Probably Sir Alex Ferguson on the grounds that almost everything he says is a potential back-page lead. Arsene Wenger is the same but is rather more accessible. However, nobody gave press conferences as theatrically as Sir Bobby Robson.

Best ever player?
Steven Gerrard – the antidote to all the cynicism that surrounds modern football.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
For sheer romance the Brazil of 1982, which Alan Hansen says is the best side he has ever faced. The Barcelona side that destroyed Manchester United in two European Cup finals was sensational.

Best pre-match grub?
Manchester City – better than many restaurants.

Best meal had on your travels?
Eight years ago, a little club called Hapoel Bnei Sakhnin became the first Arab team from the Israeli occupied territories to qualify for the UEFA Cup and drew Newcastle in the first round. Three of us, Colin Young from the Daily Mail and Gary Oliver from the Shields Gazette, travelled north from Tel Aviv and were treated to a tour of the ground and a fabulous lunch by the directors. When Manchester United went to Nantes, the city gave the Manchester United press corps a civic banquet, preceded by a football match. Manchester United were prodded into responding and for the return fixture sent the French journalists to Harry Ramsden’s.

…and the worst?
The most bizarre is the combination of cheesecake and chips served up at Old Trafford during the half-time interval.

Best hotel stayed in?
The size and sumptuousness of the suite at the Renaissance in Bangkok during Chelsea’s pre-season tour under Andre Villas-Boas can still raise a smile. I have no idea why it was allocated to me, but they sent out search parties to retrieve my mobile phone when I lost it.

…and the worst?
For the 2007 European Cup final in Athens, Liverpool’s official media hotel was a motel in the hills far away from the Greek capital that overlooked an abattoir. It had no wifi, very little mobile phone reception and an empty swimming pool.

Favourite football writer?
I grew up admiring the late Frank Keating and can still quote verbatim passages from Matthew Engel’s cricket reports in the Guardian. These days the standard is extraordinarily high. Neil Ashton’s account of Roberto di Matteo’s sacking in the Daily Mail read like a novel. I like the way Martin Blackburn works at the sharp edge of football for the Sun without ever losing his integrity. As a combination of a news reporter and a writer there are not many better than Ian Herbert at the Independent, while unless he does something very stupid – which is possible – Rory Smith of the Times will become a real star of our industry.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
John Arlott used to say “I is another”. He never referred to himself in broadcasts and John Murray on Radio Five has the combination of voice, wit and lack of ego that marks him out in that tradition. Martin Tyler and Clive Tyldesley are commentators who understand the value of silence in the way that Richie Benaud and Brian Moore did.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
Probably to remind the young men in our industry that not every conversation with a footballer needs to be printed or published on a website.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
An Ashes series in Australia. Bobby Robson always said that when he retired that is where he would go. Sadly, he never did.

Last book read?
Hilary Mantel’s account of the French Revolution: “A Place of Greater Safety”.

Favourite current TV programme?
Stephen Poliakoff’s jazz drama, “Dancing on the Edge” and Coronation Street.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
My only piece of football memorabilia are small framed posters from every French city that staged a match in the 1998 World Cup and in the middle is a ticket for the final.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Find yourself a niche, like Jonathan Wilson has done with tactics and Eastern European football. Learn a language and stand up for yourself. There is only one journalist I have ever heard call Alex Ferguson a liar to his face and he has done it more than once. Neil Custis of the Sun is still alive and still thriving.

FWA Q&A: TONY HUDD

TONY HUDD on a phantom goal…being mistaken for a murder suspect…and being kept awake by the gold medal winner of horizontal jogging…

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
No. After cutting my journalistic teeth at a sports agency, I was taken on by the Worthing Herald. On  completing my indentures, I moved to the sports desk. Among the clubs I covered was Lancing whose player-manager was Mike Smith, a teacher at Brighton Grammar School. He later managed the Wales national team and Hull City. He taught me so much about the game. I owe him an enormous debt of gratitude.

Most memorable match?
Wembley, May 25, 1988. Charlton beat Sunderland 7-6 on penalties in the Division 1 play-off final. If ever a football match squeezed emotions dry on an afternoon of unparalleled drama.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
Gillingham beating Halifax 2-0 in a winner-takes-all match to stay in the Football League in May, 1993. Halifax were subsequently relegated. Pressure is one of the most abused words in the dictionary. That was pressure like I had never experienced.  The match was dripping in tension because had Gillingham lost, Kent would have been without a League club.

Best stadium?
Santiago Bernabeu, Madrid.

…and the worst?
Kenilworth Road home of Luton Town. No self-respecting journalist can do his, or her, job properly when you cannot see one of the goals. Should Luton return to the Football League, the FWA will be knocking on the League’s door requesting significant improvements.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
After writing 1,500 beautifully crafted words on a certain football manager, I pressed the wrong button and lost the lot. Confess that I lost my rag. A colleague who laughed at my misfortune was promptly spread eagled across a desk while others had to restrain me as I attempted to smash other computers. I was disciplined but thankfully kept my job.

Biggest mistake?
In a match report, I included a goal that had been disallowed. Inexcusable I know, but in mitigation I know of many colleagues who have done the same.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
Chillingly yes. A murder suspect. In my youth I was camping on a site in Edinburgh where a girl had been found murdered in a tent. All around were an artist’s  impression  of the suspect who was my double. I went to see the police and after being questioned for several hours, friends provided a solid alibi, so I was released. I had long hair, a beard and a moustache at the time. These were removed within minutes  following a trip to a local barber.

Most media friendly manager?
Tony Pulis when he was at Gillingham.  Thursday training days were a dream with Tony offering whichever player you wanted to interview while he always available. The guy is different class and it was a privilege working with him. You just knew he was destined for the top.

Best ever player?
Zinedine Zidane. I was fortunate enough to watch him during his formative years with Cannes and Bordeaux. Whenever I’ve watched him I studied him rather than the game because, for me, he was the complete footballer.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Tony Pulis’s Gillingham class of 1999. Beautifully balanced. Barcelona from  Cruyff and Guardiola through to the current era. They always move me to the edge of my seat.

Best pre-match grub?
Manchester City.

Best meal had on your travels?
The fish and chip shop immediately outside Grimsby Town’s Blundell Park. Once saw Lennie Lawrence in there. He was Grimsby’s manager at the time. He told me the only reason he took the job was because the local fish and chips were so good. Seriously though, they have to be the best on planet earth.

…and the worst?
I’ve never liked the sandwiches at West Ham. Whoever makes them must have a peculiar sense of taste.

Best hotel stayed in?
The Emperador on Madrid’s Gran Via. Not far from the Bernabeu but far enough. Lovely rooftop swimming pool.

…and the worst?
I was booked into a seedy hotel in the Midlands which was the bolt hole of a certain television hostess who was in the room next door with her boyfriend. The lady’s lungs are phenomenal. She was up all night – and so was I. If “you know what” was ever introduced as an Olympic sport her stamina alone would win her the gold.

Favourite football writer?
The great Patrick Collins.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
The late Brian Moore. I wrote his column and got to know him and his family. He was another I learned from with is insistence on “preparation, preparation, preparation.” Nowadays I like Peter Drury.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
That at the start of each season, representatives of both sides have meaningful dialogue at which the writers could emphasise that we are not a “necessary evil” and resent being treated as such.  We are simply trying to do our job which is becoming harder every season.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
The Masters at Augusta.

Last book read?
“Another Way of Winning,”Guillem Balague’s splendid profile of Pep Guardiola.

Favourite current TV programme?
“The Sopranos.”I’m hopelessly addicted, watching repeats of the repeats.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
A picture of me holding the World Cup. It was taken in 1998 during a press junket to France. I travelled in the company of Celtic legend Billy McNeill. We were taken to a press reception in the restaurant halfway up the Eiffel Tower. I was asked if I would like to hold the World Cup ? Would I! I think I’m right in saying these days only winners are permitted to hold the trophy.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Barely a week passes without a perfectly good football writer (national and regional) being shown the door for no other reason than cost. If you’re coming into the business be prepared to multi-task and work all hours that God sends. And even that might not be enough.

Tony Hudd spent  36 years working as the Kent Messenger Group’s chief football writer, covering Gillingham and then Charlton plus England internationals. He now co-presents BBC Radio Kent’s Saturday afternoon sports show and is a member of the FWA’s national committee.

FWA Q&A: Neil Harman

NEIL HARMAN on chatting with Sir Matt…Contemplation Point…and wonderful Fox pies

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
If you count marking up the newspapers for delivery as a 14-year-old in Leigh-on-Sea and then doing shifts before and after school behind the counter in the same local newsagents, I suppose that’s my only other profession. I left school at 16 and joining the Evening Echo, based in Basildon as a junior sports reporter and from there it has been journalism all the way.

Most memorable match?
Undoubtedly, Liverpool 4, Newcastle United 3 at Anfield on April 3, 1996 Absolutely the most remarkable match, full of adventure whose climax, the stunner by Stan Collymore, who wheeled away towards the Kop, was symptomatic of the match as a whole, a one-touch, two-touch passing move of the rarest quality.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
My conversation with Sir Matt Busby at Billy McNeill’s home in Manchester in 1990. I’d been invited to Billy’s 50th birthday and was second to arrive. Billy introduced me to Sir Matt and we had 15 minutes seated on the sofa together talking football before the room started filling up. I was a little awestruck and managed to keep the conversation going. He said ‘nice to talk to you Neil’ when it was over.

Best stadium?
For atmosphere, intimacy, the closeness of the press box to the pitch, the people and the thrill, it has to be Anfield. A real football stadium. It never disappointed.

…and the worst?
It’s probably the Southendian in me, but I loathed Layer Road, Colchester.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
Actually, I survived all right (even sheltering under my desk in Izmir, Turkey in 1991, trying to keep the couplers attached to the to ends of the phone so that my Tandy would operate) but sitting next to Steve Curry of the Express in the back row of the press box at Elland Road after the famous Kevin Keegan outburst in 1996 took some beating. It was a night of high emotion, we were all re-writing quickly and Martin Lipton, now the Mirror chief football writer and then of the Press Association, raced up to the box, tripped over Steve’s electricity cables, which were dragged out of the socket and all of his words disappeared from the screen just as he was about to press ‘Send’. It is safe to say that Mr Curry was not a happy bunny. If memory serves me write he had to ad-lib (I hope younger journalists know what that means).

Biggest mistake?
Thinking that I could keep doing the job the way I had always believed it should be done when a certain regime took over at the Daily Mail in the late 1990s – and hoping that some of my colleagues on the paper at that time would stand up for what was right, rather than what was expedient. I left.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
I was a 17-year-old junior reporter attending a primary school in Billericay to write a story on Mervyn Day, the former West Ham and Orient goalkeeper meeting the kids and when I arrived before he did, most of them thought I was him.

Most media friendly manager?
Ron Atkinson

Best ever player?
My parents used to be season ticket holders at Upton Park and when they took me along, I idolised Bobby Moore. Getting to know him was one of the greatest satisfactions of my life.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Real Madrid of the early 1960s and the Brazilians who won the 1970 World Cup.

Best pre-match grub?
It was all much of a muchness in my day, but I do recall that Bill Fox, when he was Blackburn chairman, allowed the press into the boardroom before matches at the old Ewood Park and their pies were bloody wonderful.

Best meal had on your travels?
During the 1992 European Championship in Sweden; Colin Gibson of the Daily Telegraph, Steve Curry of the Express, Harry Harris of the Mirror, and I stayed at a hotel in the middle of nowhere away from the rest of the England media throng, which had its own lake and we ate the fish they caught from it every night. Stunning cuisine. They had a wooden boat which we used to take in turns to row to the middle of the lake in the evening. We called it Contemplation Point.

…and the worst?
One motorway greasy spoon is hard to differentiate from another, but I’ve had my fair share of those on late, late match nights

Best hotel stayed in?
I loved the Stenungsbaden Yacht Club just outside Gothenburg, for the aforementioned 1992 Europeans (another Gibson triumph). It happened to be the same hotel that the Danish team was in before the final and we made great friends with their manager, Richard Moller-Nielsen, much to the chagrin of the Denmark press corps.

…and the worst?
The hotel wasn’t the worst but sharing with Alan Thompson of the Express on a Cup-Winners’ Cup trip with Bangor City to Madrid in 1985 was an unforgettably awful experience. He sat up most of the night smoking Capstan Full Strength and sipping brandy. I didn’t get a wink of sleep. I loved Tommo though, what a character.

Favourite football writer?
Across the years, Geoffrey Green of The Times, Alan Hoby of the Sunday Express, Jeff Powell (the best match reporter of all) Jeff Farmer and Peter Johnson of the Daily Mail, David Lacey and Daniel Taylor on the Guardian.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Difficult to pick one, I loved the velvety tones of Peter Jones and Bryon Butler on BBC Radio and Mike Ingham continues that tradition; David Coleman and John Motson on the television. So many voices today sound exactly the same to me.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
I don’t cover that much football these days, but it strikes me that a loosening of the PR strings is what is required. We could mix and mingle with the players in my day and I know that’s tough with the 24-hour Sky Sports News types to cater for, but only when the press and the players develop a sense of trust and mutual appreciation can the real stories be told. Otherwise, it’s simply PR dross.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
The Masters in Augusta.

Last book read?
The Seven Deadly Sins, My Pursuit of Lance Armstrong by David Walsh of the Sunday Times on the doping in cycling. A page turner. Brilliant work by a brilliant writer.

Favourite current TV programme?
I’m a bit of an old sentimentalist. I love Call The Midwife

Your most prized football memorabilia?
I have a menu from the Anglo-American Sporting Club which must have been circa 1970-71, signed by Bobby Moore, Alan Mullery, Terry Venables and Colin Bell among others. A treasure for a 13 year old kid.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Try to remain true to yourself, write with honesty, have an opinion, forge relationships, maintain your enthusiasm even in the most trying or circumstances. Never let the bastards grind you down.

Neil Harman was the Daily Mail chief football writer from 1990-97 and also wrote on football in the Mail’s Manchester office in the early 80s having started on the Southend Evening Echo and moving to the Birmingham Evening Mail. He was the Mail’s tennis correspondent from 1986-90 and has been in the same position at the Sunday Telegraph and at The Times, since 2002.

FWA Q&A: MIGUEL DELANEY

MIGUEL DELANEY on super Spain…awesome Ajax…and magnificent McIlvaney

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
Sort of, but not really. I was lucky enough to go straight out of university into a job on the sports desk of the now sadly-defunct Irish paper, the Sunday Tribune. And, although they tried to inflict other sports on me that I never had any real interest in, I was always leaning towards football!

Most memorable match?
A few to mention for different reasons. I’m half-Irish, half-Spanish and, as such, there are results stands out for each for both professional and personal reasons: Ireland’s 1-0 over the Netherlands in September 2001, and then Spain’s 1-0 over the Netherlands in the 2010 World Cup final. I’ve never been as tense. Luckily, I didn’t have to file on the whistle for either. In terms of sheer performance and the sport being played to its highest possible level, hard to look past Barcelona’s 3-1 over Manchester United in the Champions League final. There was one moment in the first-half where, with just three touches on the edge of the box, Messi had nutmegged Vidic and taken Ferdinand out of the game. Barca were so good that, by the hour, you could see United were absolutely shattered from chasing them. There was no way back. As regards drama, Turkey’s 3-2 win – and comeback – over the Czech Republic in Euro 2008 was a pleasure to be at. Ultimately, the 2010 World Cup final is probably top of the list for the tension, the stage and what it meant – both for the sport and for me personally.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
Iniesta’s goal against the Netherlands. From a more detached perspective, one of the most perfect goals I’ve ever seen was Hernan Crespo’s in the 2005 Champions League final: an astounding curling through ball from Kaka – that completely took a stretching Jamie Carragher out of the game – followed by a beautiful clipped finish. It was masterful.

Best stadium?
The Bernabeu. Epic dimensions to it. The sheer height of its stands, which seem steeper than Camp Nou, make it incredible.

…and the worst?
Anywhere where it’s difficult to get wifi. There were a few League of Ireland grounds with this problem.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
Once had a 50-minute interview, with what I thought was some great material, recorded on the voice programme of my iPhone. I rarely use the connector to charge the phone on the laptop but, in a hotel room with a ridiculously low number of sockets that were all filled, I decided to. As the phone hadn’t been hooked up to the laptop since I bought it, it immediately synched up, updated and wiped everything that had been on it before. I was close to tears.

Biggest mistake?
See above.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
Tim Cahill. I’ve actually been stopped on the street for that one.

Most media friendly manager?
Probably Roberto Martinez or Mick McCarthy, in different ways and for different reasons.

Best ever player?
For fundamental ability, I’d say Diego Maradona. I think his basic skill and manipulation of the ball is still just a touch ahead of Leo Messi’s – who is still obviously absolutely incredible. However, I think Messi will apply his ability much better and ultimately end up with a superior career.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Ajax 1970-73 (with Barca 2008-11 running them close) and Spain 2008-12. As regards the latter, people go on about Brazil 1970 but they only had six games in conditions that weren’t conducive to defending. Spain have maintained it for four years and three tournaments and have had to put up with some of the deepest and most extreme backlines any team has ever faced. As such, I certainly don’t buy the ‘boring’ argument. As Euro 2008 and the final of Euro 2012 showed, if you step out against Spain they can rip you apart in the manner of that Brazil team.

Best pre-match grub?
Chelsea, by a distance.

Best meal had on your travels?
Can’t remember the name of the restaurant but Vienna during Euro 2008 was excellent. And I was a big fan of the strudels

…and the worst?
The so-called burgers they gave us in Minsk airport when a connecting flight from Warsaw to Kiev was delayed by 10 hours.

Favourite football writer?
It may be an obvious one but Hugh McIlvanney for the manner in which he manages to mix almost literary description with excellent detail in the most concise sentences. He had a line about the World Cup which, for me, sums up how good he is. “Earlier rounds offer sudden death but this is the only one that offers immortality.” That’s always stayed with me. It says so much in so few words, and in such an elegant way.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
I’d probably go Martin Tyler or Barry Davies. I do like the way Clive Tyldsley attempts to capture a moment, though.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
For clubs to realise that, in an age when players are perceived as being detached from the public, making them more accessible can help their image. As I’m sure many have said, the distance between players and reporters – and, by extension, fans – has grown too great. What’s more, coverage of football seems to be becoming increasingly Americanised (and I don’t mean that in a negative sense) – with one difference: US sports offer superb access and realise this is necessary both to sell, and tell the story of, the game.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
The Olympic 100m final.

Last book read?
David Walsh’s Seven Deadly Sins. Tremendous work and a testament to him. The Lance Armstrong story has absolutely fascinated me, and there are so many human dimensions to it. More worryingly, though, I’m not convinced football is clean.

Favourite current TV programme?
The Sopranos has been off the air for six years but, since I can’t stop myself watching the repeats on Sky Atlantic, does that count? [Tony says yes – Ed]. I don’t think it will ever be bettered, not even by The Wire – which I also love. Greatly enjoyed The Thick of It recently, too.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
The stub for the World Cup final. Ultimately, it’s still the biggest sporting event on earth. It’s an honour to attend it.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Read as much as you can and write as much you can. Persevere too. It’s a tough industry but a rewarding one.

I was a football writer with Ireland’s Sunday Tribune for six years until it sadly went bust in early 2011 (writes Miguel Delaney). Having roved around the British Isles and Europe for them, I made the full-time move to London last year. Now, I primarily work for the Irish Examiner, ESPN and the Independent.

FWA Q&A: Steve Bates

STEVE BATES of the Sunday People on being a silly Haas…the Baan Rim Pa in Phucket…and the ordinary John Richardson

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
I have always been a journalist in adult life, but as a youngster I had a few Saturday jobs. Perhaps the most bizarre was as a 14-year-old  I was the lift operator in a posh Manchester furniture store. Looking back it was like the Grace Brothers in Are You Being Served – but it gave me an early football insight into going up and going down.

Most memorable match?
Few could ever compare with Bayern Munich v Manchester United in the Champions League Final in 1999. At the final whistle it was bedlam, but I can recall Rob Shepherd sat in front of me smoking a large Cuban cigar. I was also at England’s 5-1 win in Munich and the famous Liverpool comeback against AC Milan in Istanbul in 2005, but for sheer instant drama the Nou Camp 1999 will take some beating.

One moment in football you’d put on a DVD?
My son Dominic’s 30-yard top corner screamer for Altrincham Grammar Under-13’s to beat Parrswood School Didsbury in 2005.

Best stadium?
As a football theatre the Bernabeu in Madrid is fantastic.

And the worst?
In 2000 I went to Rio de Janiero for the Fifa Club World Cup and was excited about watching a game in the famous Maracana Stadium, but it was a crumbling wreck and such a disappointment.

Personal new-tech disaster?
Apart from the usual wi-fi problems every journo suffers on deadline, none has been too spectacular. The funniest I recall was in Hong Kong pre season when John Richardson from the Sunday Express was having connectivity problems at a match. A helpful Aussie lady in the press area tried to help asking John which internet provider he was using prompting the now famous reply: “I’m on ordinary!”

Biggest mistake?
Possibly mistaking another FC Basel player for Bernd Haas in the mixed zone following a Champions League game against Manchester United in Switzerland. I’m told I carried on the interview despite him insisting he wasn’t Haas.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
Jonny Northcroft from the Sunday Times claims someone recently asked him if I was Ray Lewington. Other than that my pals reckon I have a passing resemblance to Leslie Phillips.

Most media friendly manager?
Sam Allardyce understands the demands of the press and in my opinion always has time for journos.

Best ever player?
As a youngster I just caught the end of George Best’s days at Manchester United and he was mesmerizing.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
The recent Barcelona side and Brazil circa 1970.

Best pre-match grub?
Arsenal.

Best meal had on travels?
At the end of a pre-season Manchester United tour to Japan a few years back myself and some of the guys went to a Tepenyaki restaurant in the Ginza district of Tokyo. The Kobe beef was sensational.

On non-football trips I’d go for the restaurants at The Cliff, Barbados, and the Baan Rim Pa in Phuket, Thailand.

The worst?
In a hotel in Algiers in December 1990 covering England B v Algeria. You could order anything off the menu but everyone got the same – goat from memory.

Best hotel stayed in?
The Shangri-La’s in Bangkok and Singapore stand out. Trump Tower, SoHo New York, not shabby either.

And the worst?
One in Istanbul for the 2005 Champions League Final. Hotels were at a premium, but this one would have been condemned had in been in the UK. Thankfully we were moved after one night.

Favourite football writer?
Toss up really, Paul Hayward (Daily Telegraph)/Martin Samuel (Daily Mail).

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Mike Ingham (BBC Radio 5 Live)/Martin Tyler (Sky Sports)

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
A futile exercise really. There will always be a fundamental difference between how journalists do their jobs and how football clubs would like us to do our jobs.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
Boxing Day Ashes Test Match between Australia and England at the MCG Melbourne.

Last book read?
A Death In Calabria, Michele Giuttari.

Favourite current TV programme?
Homeland which just finished its second series recently. Captivating TV.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
A few years back I paid 500 quid for an arty picture of Pele in full flow at an event in Manchester. The man himself was there and signed it. I recall Gary Neville was at the same event – but he spent a lot more than me.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Talent always shines through so be persistent, develop a thick skin and always be polite no matter how rude and ungracious footballers can be in mixed zones.

FWA Q&A: Barney Chilton

Barney Chilton, editor of Red News, on losing a Fortune…why we put up with the bad when the good can be so good…and avoiding Aussie verrucas

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
Many moons ago, when I had both hair and youth on my side, I worked in University bookshops. In theory, fun. In practice, nothing like it. This did, however, teach me two things: optometrists were the worst bunch for stealing their textbooks (then again, a couple of them were over £100 each) and that nothing in the world is more dull than a retail stock take which can still have me waking up at 4am with the shivers. On my first day I was told that the Dewey Decimal Classification of storing books would leave me in good stead for the rest of my life. On my second day I eyed how I could sell more fanzines and escaped. All these years on and poor old Dewey has done me no good whatsoever, not even one single pub quiz question on it, so I am still left wondering exactly when it’ll pop up so I can use it as a life saver.

Most memorable match?
So many to choose from, so little time. Have to go for the Champions League final in 99, but the semi-final victory before it in such circumstances against the fine Old Lady is right up there for the performance, which though wasn’t replicated in the final, who cares? In an era of remarkable comebacks, the Nou Camp will never be topped. It still gives me goosebumps and makes me think ‘did that really happen, has this all been a dream?’ Don’t wake me up then. Fergie just about summed it up afterwards: ‘football, bloody hell.’ Why we so love it. And put up with the bad when the good can be that good.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
Those last few minutes, ignoring the 89 or so before. The best team performance I’ve seen is probably fought out between United and Barcelona in a few battles, lopsided in their direction unfortunately, the scoundrels, from the 4-0 hammering which you couldn’t help but admire in 94 to the cat pawing at an injured mouse pounding we got at Wembley last time. The 3-0 triumph over them in 84 was an occasion still fondly remembered – sadly typifying the era of false dawns as Juve knocked us out next round. But how often can a team with Graeme Hogg in it so intimidate one with Maradona in theirs? One solitary moment? Eric’s pass to Denis Irwin [for Irwin’s goal against Spurs in Jan 1993], which he, himself, chose in Looking for Eric. The pass shaped everything. It is our dream move.

Best stadium?
The Bernabeu, though both Real Madrid and Barca put away fans in the gods which never seems fair. Sitting in the home end is a totally and much more pleasurable experience. It’s for the aesthetics rather than the atmosphere though. It grates me to admit, but those conveyer belt produced replicakit stadiums in the States are great once inside. It’s almost like Willy Wonka factory time – is there anything they don’t offer, with 450 screens replaying all the action, more food that is both practical and logical, and that suffocating marketing that every second spent there is just, well ‘awesome’. But you are drawn in, nonetheless.

…and the worst?
Halifax and the Shay. The old romantic in me would like to glorify the old style allure of it all, but in truth it was an eyesore with an away end behind the goal that was just a uptight grassy hill. Add water to it, and slips galore, Gremlin like. And the floodlights didn’t even offer substantial bright light. Not helped by Jim Leighton slippery fingers when we played there, too.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
The usual incomprehensible failure to back up and be confronted with a dead screen and lost material plus articles typed, which are clearly your best ever, only to see them disappear near completion, gone for good, in circumstances still unknown. Then comes the – while cursing – rewrite which is never as good or as fun. We don’t have a good record with taped interviews. In the old days you can hear the audible gasps as I realise I’ve put the old stale tapes on short play instead of long and the whirring mid-interview is the last breath of the tape about to be spat out in disgust with only half the interview gone as I desperately scrambled for a spare and not look a tit. I decided to double up and always bring two (‘just in case’) but even then there seemed a curse. The amount of times one has gone wrong is comical. We digitally recorded Quinton Fortune in a one-to-one yet both recorders played up. Saying that, Quinton was so unforthcoming we could have put some blank pages in the mag and not missed out any of the interesting quotes from the interview, which we then had to rescue from shorthand and somehow try and make into a semi-interesting piece. Which from vague ‘yes, suppose so’s’ was pretty difficult.

Biggest mistake?
Nothing too major, bar criticising the football of the man in his early days who went on to win us everything which didn’t go down too well at the time. Think he’s forgiven us now. For some reason mistakes with dates and years seems to wind up some readers more than any OTT opinion and actual controversial material. And woe betide a rushed misspelling. Do not mess with the grammar police.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
In a few letters I was addressed as ‘Barnie Clifton’ which is as close as I’ve got to stardom (cue that going over the heads of anyone under 50). I always dreamed the ‘Barnie’ would one day make it to the full on ‘Bernie’ but sadly not. In real life though, nobody, but we did pretend to be squad players on a pre-season tour of Scandinavia in the late 1980s, using clubcall promo cards as some bizarre confirmation as proof that we were first teamers even if we weren’t on the actual pictures. However, it worked and got us free drinks. And a mate a rather exotic dance.

Most media friendly manager?
Only dealt with the one, thankfully. We had a lot more contact in the early days when United wasn’t the Mr Potato indulged mammoth it is now. In our earliest days, on another pre-season tour of Sweden, we walked into the team hotel where there was no security or waiting fans outside and got a lengthy one-to-one interview about his plans for the 1987/88 season as he ate his breakfast and talked of changing the fortunes of the club. He has helped us on several occasions since, but like Carrington, the blockades are up and the dream of a second such chat, I fear, is some way off. In another world. We’re so big as a club now, everything we once were and how things were done, has gone for good.

Best ever player?
Not seen enough of Messi live, but up close with Ronaldo was a joy to watch. How both stay so fit is a marvel, as much as what they do when fit. For impact, Eric Cantona, though I hope Robin Van Persie will have a similar affect. It’s only when you see a player in the flesh, consistently, that you have a real indication and watching RVP regularly…his movement, his vision, his understanding and reading of the game…has been as big a delight as any I have had since we won the 19th title. Growing up, it was always Bryan Robson. I just wish he had been able to play – and peak – in this era.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
From a distance, AC Milan of the 90s – and that final of 94. Up close, Barcelona reaching a crescendo just at the right (wrong) time to deservedly make two Champions League finals pretty much non contests. Despite their lack of success, the Brazil side of 82 and what they did to capture the imagination of so many kids watching; studying, learning and falling a bit more in love with football which can still have me shouting out ‘SOCRATES’ to celebrate a goal as we all put our club allegiances to one side that summer and just wanted to score in a yellow kit.

Best pre-match grub?
Home made sarnies, flattened accidentally by putting mags on top of them, soggy from the inevitable rain, as you hold up the fanzines for hours and your mates all text you how good the pub is. The reality of all this! Better that, though, than the OT chicken balti pies which a mate is convinced is just Norovirus in a plastic dish.

Best meal had on your travels?
I’d like to come up with some extravagant dish from the hand of a non-speaking Monk using materials from the earth which only flower once a year, but though it sounds dull. It’s probably a pizza before the Champions League Final in Rome. The chef treated the pizza dough as if it were his instrument and with such care I felt guilty eating it – but it was incredible. The local wine helped, of course. Why is takeaway pizza nothing like the real thing…?

…and the worst?
The steak in some backwater bar in Kiev, which didn’t resemble cow and appeared to be more rodent based. I can’t even say it tasted nice. But it was cheap.

Best hotel stayed in?
Room wise, the Wynn in LA which a mate who ran a travel agency had sorted on the cheap and gave a rare insight into opulence so that for a few nights I really could dream I was the real Bernie Clifton. The room had two TV’s the size of concert screens. But for all round madness, the the Prince Park Tower Hotel in Tokyo for the Club World Cup. On arrival I was greeted by four receptionists who seemed so caring I thought they wanted to room with me. I didn’t even realise the hotel had its own massive shopping centre underneath with hundreds of people working until the last day. There were so many lifts you needed a compass to find your room, and I’m sure they were crying as I left. I have that effect.

…and the worst?
Some bunker in Kosice. So bad, the dreary, decaying living room-like reception saw a few of our party turn and get cabs to the team hotel to upgrade. Those of us on a fixed budget had to make do, though the communal showers – for men and women – which stank and had an obligatory Aussie backpacker advising he hoped his verrucas weren’t catching – won’t ever be beaten, for what I do not know. Thankfully the town itself was fantastic. So we spent as little time as possible back at HQ. A room with iron bars has that affect.

Favourite football writer?
Bias of home comforts allows me to select Daniel Taylor for his flair and Mark Ogden for his rhythm, Simon Stone of PA for his diligence, and Ian Herbert rid of his shackles makes me laugh when he’s on one. I like Martin Samuel, especially when his topics are those that surprise (though not that Joey Barton one…), and of course Richard Williams. I wouldn’t want to wake up every morning confronted with fans across the country accusing you of being a fan of this club or that, but each day across the board you can still find quality. I just don’t like the obsession for transfer speculation (though know it sells and gets the most hits) plus over-indulgence of particular headline stories when there are so many other good football stories out there, even on slow news days. Perhaps there is no market, but there are that many former professionals with grand stories to tell, I’m surprised we don’t read more on their thoughts in interviews.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
In a minority I presume but I like Jonathan Pearce – volume down mind – because he clearly still loves the sport and doesn’t seem to let any cynicism burden his work.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
Build on trust. Develop trust. By starting again. If a journalist betrays that trust, then the club can let him have it, but I do think there has to be a better way than the at-arm’s-length approach we have now. Players should not only be put up for more interviews during the week, but also where there isn’t an edge to it – this or that isn’t off limits – where both are eyeing each other with suspicion. We’re adults after all and fans prefer grown up and meaningful discussion rather than bland insipid nothingness where we’re told such and such will ‘bounce back’ for the nth time and nothing gets said. With Di Law at United we were allowed one-on-ones with players and stuck to basic principles of copy approval, but were allowed to make the conversations more interesting without being treated like children. Now we have officials sat down watching what we say and what the players say, which is both pointless and unsettling. We’re not there to stitch the player up, we just want to hear them speak about more than they are used to, which is surely a good thing. Not probing for private information, but asking for views on broader subjects than the next game and standard platitudes. The modern machine seems scared of allowing anybody the right to open up.

On a tangent, I agree with Neil Custis about journalists giving their stories out for free on the net and it is of concern. We’re in that strange new world at the moment where people think everything online should be free, and as a consequence, I feel, papers have misjudged the mood by offering up everything online, for free, when it should be used to entice people to the content. Why buy a paper if we can read the paper online for free? Everyone also wants to be the first to reveal everything, be that bloggers, fans or those in the media when surely the idea is to tease so that people then go to the real thing (be it paper or virtual)? If I had a good story I’d provide tasters, but the material would go into the mag. Or I’d sit on it. If you show your hand straight away – here’s the story, in a tweet – why would people than take the extra step to read the greater insight? There will be a way to mix the two, as everyone is finding their feet, and so many people writing about football across the board can only be a good thing as you select those you want to read regularly.

It’s sad that so many fanzines have closed down as some think that era has now passed. I’d argue that fanzines are still valuable – and vocal – and provide an insight into their club which is necessary. We’re lucky at United that we still have all three, mainly down to the single mindedness and stubbornness of each editor. We’re all going digital, but we’re charging for content with occasional free material posted to showcase to readers because I believe this is the model that will flourish.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
The Ashes, in Australia. But before it became popular. Or a Test in Wellington, walking up that road right to the ground.

Last book read?
Hunter S Thompson ‘Fear and Loathing at Rolling Stone’ – not perfect, but a good insight into his style with a toothpick into American history.

Favourite current TV programme?
A choice between Walking Dead which has re-invented the tired Zombie genre; Homeland which is now so implausible I fear for its future; and Boardwalk Empire which trots slow, slow, quick, quick, slow but is masked by the quality of the scenery and acting. And Gary Nev on a Monday night. If only all pundits were that good. Hopefully his work will see the end of a tired formula on MOTD who should be taking note with a shake up of the golfing club.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
A three page letter from SAF on his opinion on the role of fanzines at United and his opinion on the early Red News’s. Not for publication, its contents remain private, and fascinating (and not that rude).

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Be yourself. Everyone wants to copy someone or other, when I still believe good, quality writing will rise to the top. Set your own sights and ambitions on where you want to go rather than what others suggest is the way you should head. The road less travelled can lead to a lifetime of unique and unforgettable experiences. Football reporting is at a drastic point, print IS decaying, sadly, and the internet has meant the demand for old style reports is irrelevant, unless it’s very, very good. This should provide an opportunity for more forensic and quality copy which will create demand because it is so good. We all know the score, so I enjoy as much about the game we didn’t see as the one we did and know about. I am not a journalist, I am just a Manchester United fan who had the opportunity to write about my club during an incredible period of its history. I am both fearful and excited for the future.

Red News is the first Manchester United fanzine which was started in 1987. It’s been sold at over 800 United games in all conditions; the material is from the contributions of Manchester United supporters, of which several have gone on to become authors in their own right. It has interviewed over 60 former Manchester United players, with only Dimitar Berbatov and Roy Keane declining.

FWA Q&A: JEREMY CROSS

JEREMY CROSS of the Daily Star on why Oakwell is flipping awful…a £40 mousse…and happy to have Pele put the boot in

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
Yes. I was a postman for a summer after completing my A levels. The 3am starts put me off for life!

Most memorable match?
Manchester City scoring in extra time to beat QPR and pip Manchester United to the 2012 league title. Remarkable finish to a remarkable season.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
Liverpool coming from 3-0 down to beat AC Milan in the 2005 Champions League final in Istanbul.

Best stadium?
The Santiago Bernabeu, Madrid. Great facilities and even better atmosphere.

…and the worst?
Blundell Park, home of Grimsby Town. The roof of the stand where the press sit has sunk, which means you can’t see the action if the ball goes above shoulder height, which tends to happen quite a lot there.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
Flipping the desk over at Oakwell once and smashing my laptop on the floor five minutes before kick-off.

Biggest mistake?
Getting Jon Parkin and Ben Burgess mixed up during a match report for a game at Hull City once. Thankfully no-one realised.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
Yes. Paul Robinson, the Blackburn and ex-England goalkeeper.

Most media friendly manager?
Phil Brown during his time in charge at Hull City, or Roberto Martinez at Wigan.

Best ever player?
Zinedine Zidane.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Barcelona (present team) and Brazil (1970).

Best pre-match grub?
Manchester City (by a country mile).

Best meal had on your travels?
Steak and fish bonanza during a pre-season tour to Cape Town with Manchester United. Fine wine too, all for a reasonable price.

…and the worst?
Once ordered what I thought was steak in a place in Stockholm costing £40 and when it arrived it was fish mousse!!

Worst hotel stayed in?
Holiday Inn, SoHo, New York. Felt like sleeping in a lift.

Favourite football writer?
Martin Samuel (Daily Mail).

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Ian Dennis (BBC Five Live).

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
More contact with the players and more respect shown from managers to reporters.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
The Masters, Augusta.

Last book read?
Paul Scholes’s autobiography.

Favourite current TV programme?
The Inbetweeners.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
A pair of football boots belonging to and signed by Pele.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Be determined and prepared to accept you won’t make friends all the time. Have a thick skin and don’t worry about having to write something that might upset someone.

 

 

FWA Q&A: Patrick Barclay

PATRICK BARCLAY on the joys of staying at Broadmoor…Messi’s divine retribution…a free Star Trek poppadum in Carlisle…and a desperate own Cole…

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
As a teenager I used to heave boxes around a grocery warehouse during school holidays. Not only did you develop rippling muscles – you were allowed to take home the stuff that was past its sell-by date, which, in those less pernickety days, entailed the appearance of rust or mould or packaging that turned to dust upon being touched. Powdered doughnut mixture – just add water and sprinkle with sugar and bake until your patience expires. Yum!

Later I did a bit of journalism. I used to be a sub-editor on The Guardian and the best years were spent in charge of – okay, I was the only person working on – the Parliamentary pages. Debates were covered in some detail by this newspaper in the 1970s and the job was to edit them so they were fairly reflected as well as easily readable. I loved it and became acutely interested in politics. The most memorable occurrence was the Irish republican Bernadette Devlin’s maiden speech, which had even some Conservative hearts pounding with excitement. I enjoyed seeing stars rise. Brian Walden, later to be a superb television performer, was one. Others were to encounter falls, Jeffrey Archer among them.

Most memorable match?
It was always going to take something special to knock Milan 4 Barcelona 0 in 1994 off its f***ing perch and another Champions League final was to do the trick: Barcelona 3 Manchester United 1 at Wembley in 2011. Both of those matches were one-sided and yet majestic and to receive from Barcelona confirmation that the football played in their 5-0 win over Real Madrid earlier in the season had been no fluke…well, I make no apology for saying that it was like a dream come true.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
Lionel Messi’s solo destruction of Jose Mourinho’s cynical Real Madrid in the Champions League semi at the Bernabeu. That’s what football should be about – divine retribution.

Best stadium?

Camp Nou.

…and the worst?
Any that lack an element of symmetry bring out the OCD in me. I find myself mentally completing them, rounding them off, instead of concentrating on the match. The old Leicester ground used to drive me mad. Even St James’ Park in Newcastle, a marvellous ground in every other way, is a hazardous place to visit for this reason.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
The first still makes me retch. I spent a week or thereabouts boiling down Bruce Grobbelaar’s autobiograpy – as told to Bob ”Bomber” Harris, the Boswell to many a footballing Johnson – into four sections of 2,000 words each for the purpose of serialisation during the first week of Today newspaper in 1986. I did what seemed a brilliant job. And then pressed the wrong button and lost the lot and had to do it all over again in one day.

[I don’t know why this subject makes journalists laugh. I bet Chris Davies only puts it in the FWA Q & A in the hope of a giggle. But what’s funny about having inadequate tools for the job? Say if a surgeon was given, instead of a scalpel, a stick of liquorice? Would that be funny?]

I was three years on The Times and should have spotted the danger signals when the laptop they gave me was not only a hand-me-down but still warm, with – and this is no syllable of a lie – sandwich crumbs stuck between the keys. A succession of machines in the late autumn of their years followed and it was only after parting company with News International and buying my own computer that I was reminded that manufacturers purveyed new ones that worked.

Biggest mistake?
Awarding a goal to Andy Cole when Brian McClair had scored it. Okay, they were physically similar but still…

And not just that. I built my whole piece around it, forecasting that the breaking of Cole’s eight-match drought (now nine matches, of course, and much remarked upon in other newspapers) would cause the dam to burst so woe betide Liverpool or whoever United were facing in their next match. The subs caught the error before it reached London and Manchester but I prefer not to picture the bewilderment of the good folk of Cornwall and Cumbria, to which the early editions had been despatched.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
Only Andy Cole. Just joking – Patrick Stewart, the actor. He’s even older than me but in damn good shape so I take it as a huge compliment. The benefits of occasionally neglecting to destroy the illusion have included large haddock for the price of small in my local chippy and free poppadum with a curry in Carlisle. But the best is experienced on visits to the West End theatre: the demurely respectful smiles of passing damsels, which it is only polite to return.

Most media friendly manager?
Add me to the list of Roberto Martinez’s admirers. He is a man of old-fashioned courtesy, extended to one and all. Personally, I used to find Alex Ferguson generous and like David Moyes.

Best ever player?
Diego Maradona. Without a split-second of hesitation. What he did in the face of wild tackling was suffer for his art. When I heard people call him a cheat, it used to make me so angry. Lionel Messi does even more than Maradona did to light up our lives, it’s true, but he doesn’t have to put up with the brutality of an earlier age. Not nearly as much, anyway. I know you are not supposed to give FIFA credit for anything, but Sepp Blatter in his earlier incarnation put in place the adjustments in refereeing that have helped Messi to flourish and become not just the greatest entertainer in the history of the game but the best example to youth.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Barcelona under Rijkaard, Guardiola and Vilanova. And Brazil 1970 – the highlight of my journalistic career so far was sitting down one day in Rio de Janeiro with Carlos Alberto, the captain of that team, and being told that he had as much time to talk as I wanted. It may have been the lowest point of his life – you’d have to ask him – but his second-by-second description of the fourth goal in the final was magical. It was like being in the presence of history. By the time I’d let him go, he’d grown a long beard and become eligible for a state pension.

Best pre-match grub?
I’d love to be present at a play-off for that title between Arsenal and Manchester City. They are very different spreads – one looks as if it has been prepared under the supervision of Arsene Wenger, the other by Frannie Lee – yet equally impressive. I haven’t been to Leicester recently but their excellent offering used to be none the worse for a small charge that was given to charity.

Best meal had on your travels?
From an introduction to Italian food while visiting Liam Brady in his Juventus days to a tapas place near the Bernabeu now, treat has just kept piling on treat. The salads in Skopje may surprise you, but they are not mentioned for purely alliterative reasons. Nor is the ”cognac” in Kishinev – some of the best brandy I’ve ever tasted. But I suppose I’ll have to go for the eight-hour lunch laid on by the mayor of Tblisi and his burly henchmen in a candlelit barn in the middle of a field. Don’t ask me when it was. Don’t ask me what we ate. All I can remember was that the theme was ”culture”, which amounted to the offering of toast after toast to the respective merits of Georgia and England and each time promptly downing an entire glass of the local farmers’ wine. It was so good that no hangover ensued. Did some local busybodies thereafter argue that the council-tax revenue of the citizens of Tblisi might have been better spent? I often wonder, but I hope not.

…and the worst?
In Barcelona, funnily enough. My friends and I have found what may well be the only bad restaurant in Catalunya – and yet it’s irresistible, being so close to Camp Nou that your hands are still tingling from the applause when you pick up the laminated menu. It’s not that bad. I genuinely can’t remember having a bad meal anywhere. The only thing I don’t like is restaurants that fancy themselves and make a living out of the customers’ snobbery. Once in Dusseldorf everyone else had enjoyed the half-mouthfuls that constituted their first courses and I asked the waiter when mine – ”medallions of turbot” – would arrive. He pointed at my plate. I’d assumed those three little circles were part of the pattern.

Best hotel stayed in?
A place called Broadmoor near Colorado Springs. A vast, traditional place in magnificent countryside where we stayed with Bobby Robson’s England squad before the 1986 World Cup in Mexico. In those days it was not unusual to mingle with the players beside the pool. Peter Reid admired my music – a Velvet Underground tape was exercising the Walkman at that time – and not only borrowed it but (and this, bear in mind, was a footballer) later gave it back.

…and the worst?
In Liverpool. I can’t remember the name, but it was a conversion of a century-old commercial building. The worst example of a genre that blights Manchester and Glasgow as well. What makes them think we’ll not notice the principal drawback of high ceilings? You want to climb into the mini-bar to get warm – except that there’s not a mini-bar. Give me a Premier Inn any day of the week.

Favourite football writer?
Brian Glanville. Only David Lacey gets close in terms of erudition, but Glanville’s bravery sets him apart. It’s the quality that I wish more of the current galacticos would embrace. Straying from the herd doesn’t do Martin Samuel any harm, does it? Another must-read in my opinion is Ian Chadband when he covers football.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Alan Green and Mike Ingham. And, if you ask me to choose, I’ll throw in the bright young Darren Fletcher to complicate matters. He doesn’t mind telling you what he thinks either.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
Media activities every day, as in Germany. That way the arguments can be settled earlier and information channelled more as the clubs would wish. I’m amazed that Manchester City, with a clean sheet of paper and an obvious weakness in the opposition’s armoury to exploit, haven’t done it already.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
A Test in the West Indies when they were kings of cricket.

Last book read?
Martin Kelner’s Stand Up and Cheer – a very funny and educative history of sport on television.

Favourite current TV programme?
Question Time.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
The team sheet for the World Cup final of 1998 with Edmundo’s name on it. It was withdrawn and replaced after Ronaldo was persuaded to play at the 11th hour.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Only do it if you must. And, if you truly must, diversify. Football writing is now one of those things, like photography, which everyone thinks he or she can do. You have to give yourself an edge by being imaginative and innovative across the media. Oh, and cheap.

PATRICK BARCLAY is a columnist for the Sunday Independent and Evening Standard.

FWA Q&A: Geoff Peters

talkSPORT’s GEOFF PETERS on being given a mouthful by Serbs…going out with a manager’s girlfriend…and why Winter is best.

Have you ever worked in a profession other than football?
In my formative journalistic years as a teenager, working on a free weekly newspaper and then for a press agency, I had to cover stuff like inquests, magistrates courts etc and even got roped in to do some stuff for the entertainment pages. It once took me a whole day to write a review of a play. The editor never asked me again. I’ve been a DJ since the age of 14 – working in Ibiza and Egypt and other much less glamorous places – and currently have bar and club gigs on Friday and Saturday nights in the Midlands so, along with football, it means my weekends are rather hectic. I had a spell out of journalism and part of that time was spent working for Leicester City’s lottery department, servicing venues around the county who sold the club’s scratchcards. It was actually a lot more fun than it probably sounds.

Most memorable match?
May 30, 1994. It was the Division One Play-off Final between Leicester City and Derby County. Leicester – the team I support – came from behind to win and get promotion to the Premiership. It was their first win at Wembley in seven attempts. I was just 21 and commentating for BBC Radio Leicester and it remains a golden moment for me.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
Leicester v Arsenal in 1997. Leicester came from 2-0 down to equalise in the last 10 minutes through Heskey and Elliott but Dennis Bergkamp went back up the field to score a stunning goal, complete his hat-trick and seemingly win it. The never say die spirit of Martin O’Neill came to the fore as Steve Walsh headed home to make it 3-3 deep into stoppage time. Pulsating, breathless stuff. Bergkamp was sublime that night.
From a more general perspective, the pure theatre from the Manchester City-QPR game in May 2012 will take some beating.

Best stadium?
I had a brief flirtation as a Liverpool fan in my very early years – Rush and Grobbelaar were my two favourite players – and the first time I went to Anfield really took my breath away.

…and the worst?
Visiting The Den as an away fan was a nightmare. The least safe I’ve ever felt in a press box was at the Gerhard Hanappi stadium in Vienna when Leicester played Red Star Belgrade there in a UEFA Cup tie in 2000. The Serbian fans were like caged animals and, among other things, they were spitting at the press guys.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
When I was writing a book in early 1998 about Martin O’Neill’s first two years as Leicester manager, I borrowed a Mac and managed to lose work several times through my technical ineptitude. I managed to get it finished and self published it, selling about 3,500 copies in the end. It was never going to win any literary awards – I was 24 and had no idea what I was doing to be honest – but it made it to print which seemed unlikely at various points. I now back up stuff regularly because while computers are amazing things, the idiot who uses them is a mere human.

Biggest mistake?
Too numerous to mention but becoming friends with the girlfriend of a football manager and then seeing a photograph of us together splashed over the front pages of several national newspapers, who suggested there was a lot more to our friendship, certainly caused a fair amount of aggravation. The main mistake was not listening to journalist pals who warned me about her. I took advice from these people a lot more after that particular episode.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
In my 20s people said I looked like Johnny Vaughan and Dale Winton and since shaving my head, I’ve had all the Right Said Fred and Crystal Maze jokes. Not that I’ve ever actually been mistaken for any of those guys. I suppose if I walked around Molineux in a Wolves jacket on matchday I might get confused with Stale Solbakken.

Most media friendly manager?
I like Brian McDermott at Reading. He’s always honest and doesn’t leap down your throat if you ask a daft question as can happen from time to time. Brian Little was brilliant when I was starting out in the BBC and Micky Adams would always look you in the eye when giving interviews. He lost the plot one day in a pre-recorded piece and it left me a little shell shocked if I’m honest. Somehow he got my number and rang me later to apologise which I don’t think many managers would do.

Least media friendly manager?

Gordon Strachan. Can’t understand why the media keep employing him when he’s treated journalists with such disrespect over the years. He’s been rude to me when I’ve asked simple, non-threatening questions and there’s really no need for it.

Best ever player?
Tough choice. In my lifetime it would be Maradona, Bergkamp, Zidane or Messi – I could make a case for all of them. My favourite player ever at my club is Steve Walsh. He cared about the shirt and gave everything he could for the best part of a decade and a half.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Dull and predictable but it’s hard to look past Barcelona and Spain in recent years.

Best pre-match grub?
Aston Villa – top class catering.

Best hotel stayed in?
Non-football but I went on a press trip to northern Spain in December 1992 to record a feature for a holiday show. Can’t remember the name of the place but it was big, luxurious and, most importantly, we had a free bar. The hotel staff didn’t make one murmur of complaint after cleaning up the mess I left. I’ve never been that drunk or that ill from booze since.

Favourite football writer?

I love Henry Winter’s writing style. He’s also a very cool, calm person. I’m still a bit in awe of him whenever I speak to him. He’s everything that a journalist should be – fair, polite and hard working.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Barry Davies was the best one on TV although Martin Tyler runs him close these days. Voices you can trust and believe in and add sparkle to the pictures you can see. I remember as a young kid the distinct tones of Bryon Butler on a crackly medium wave radio.

I was fortunate to work with the likes of John Rawling, Jonathan Agnew and Iain Carter in my formative broadcasting years in the BBC and I learnt a lot from them.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
The media are not the enemy – they’re a voice for the clubs to communicate to the fans. I think the clubs sometimes forget that. More openness and trust wouldn’t go amiss.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?

The Ashes in Australia with England stuffing them.

Last book read?

Fibber In The Heat by Miles Jupp. He somehow blagged his way onto an England cricket tour to India with the press pack a few years ago. A bizarre but very funny read.

Favourite current TV programme?
Have I Got News For You – especially when they get Jeremy Clarkson to host it.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
I have a few signed shirts and pictures – the best is probably a replica England 1966 shirt signed by Sir Geoff Hurst.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
The line is blurred these days between newspapers, radio, TV and websites – don’t be afraid to embrace more than one. Listen and learn from older, wiser, more experienced colleagues. If you get paid to watch football – however cold and tired you might be sitting in a press box – don’t complain too much. It’s a great job.

Follow Geoff Peters on Twitter @talkSPORTgeoff