ENGLISH FOOTBALL CAN LEARN FROM AUSTRALIA’S CRICKET CAPTAIN

‘FOOTBALLERS SHOULD BE MORE LIKE MICHAEL CLARKE’ SAYS GARY NEVILLE
By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES
Gary Neville has urged footballers to be more open and relaxed with the media, citing Australia Test captain Michael Clarke as “the template for sportsmen.”
As a player with Manchester United and England, Neville fell into the “difficult” category with football writers. When he spoke to the media he showed the eloquence and insight which has made him such a valued member of Sky Sports’ football coverage, but Neville was never as willing to stop in the mixed zone after an international as Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard, for example. After two years involvement with the media Neville wished he had been more helpful and had used his influence to put a message across to supporters.
In a fascinating interview with Jonathan Agnew on BBC Radio’s Test Match Special, cricket lover Neville spoke about his change of attitude towards the press since his retirement and admitted the switch from football stage to football studio was not as simple as he made it seem.
“It wasn’t an easy transformation,” he said. “When I looked back at the first few shows it was all so fast…I speak quickly anyway, but I needed to slow myself down. It was all a blur, but I’ve really enjoyed it. I work with good people and now that I have finished [playing] I appreciate the role of the media. As a player, if we’d lost a match there was no way I was going out there to speak. You think you’ve let people down. The last thing you want is to speak about it.
“I realise I could have fronted up a bit more and taken more responsibility. This is something I am conscious of now. I was watching the first Ashes Test and saw the post-match interview with Michael Clarke and it was sensational. He’s the enemy, he was a loser, but listening to him he was humble in the way he talked about Australia’s flaws, also that he should have done better with the decisions reviews and that he needed to improve himself. When you are honest like that you have a real chance. For me, that’s the sort of template of how sportsmen should be.
“Last year we saw Olympians who had come off the track and missed the gold medal they’d been training four years for, yet they still fronted up.
“That is something we can learn from in all sports, but football in particular. You appreciate it more when you’ve finished and I’m not having a go at footballers who are still playing because when you are playing you’re in a bubble. You think about your own job, your own team, your own three points but actually there is a bigger picture out there. You have a bigger message to get across…you have more power and influence than you ever recognise. When you come into the media you appreciate that more.”
Neville believes way Sir Alex Ferguson controlled the media side of the job was a part of United’s success. He said: “The teams I played in under Sir Alex had that siege mentality…you know, we’re on the island and the sharks are all around us…don’t let anybody on. That sort of mentality. We looked after one another, we protected each other. You think about David Beckham coming back from the World Cup in 1998 and the whole country’s against him, but United fans turned on the rest of the country to look after one of their own.
“This was one of Sir Alex’s ways of doing things. I can see similarities with the current England [cricket] team. They don’t let people in. They maybe are a little straight in their interviews and I can’t say that’s wrong from a sporting point of view. But when you finish, you look back and think you could have been more relaxed. It’s too late then.
“At the same time I can understand why footballers and cricketers would want to keep things tight. It’s a mad world out there and anything you say can be reported in a hundred different ways.”

THE MOST OPEN LEAGUE IN EUROPE – A DOZEN TEAMS HAVE REALISTIC HOPES OF PROMOTION FROM THE CHAMPIONSHIP By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

It is probably the most open league in European football and as the Championship kicks-off a dozen clubs have realistic hopes of claiming one of the three promotion places.

“Last season there were 14 points between Leicester in sixth and Peterborough in 22nd,” said Geoff Peters who covers the Championship for talkSPORT. “Fourteen points between the playoffs and relegation. This highlights how competitive the Championship is and how, if a team puts a good run together, they can lift themselves from the doldrums to possible promotion.

“Crystal Palace lost their first three games of 2012/13, but were promoted to the Barclays Premier League after winning the playoff final against Watford. At Christmas, Bolton were looking over their shoulders at the relegation zone and really should have got into the playoffs after their fantastic run, but had a last day blowout.”

The three relegated clubs from the Barclays Premier League should, on the face of it, have an advantage with their parachute payments amounting to £60 million over four years from this season, but Bolton, Blackburn and Wolves, who went down in 2012, finished eighth, 17th and 23rd respectively last May, the Molineux club suffering the ignominy of a second successive drop. However, since 2000 only nine clubs have been relegated and bounced straight back to the top flight within 12 months, so money is not necessarily the help it should be.

The bookmakers have Queens Park Rangers, Reading and Bolton as favourites to go up with Yeovil, Doncaster and Barnsley most likely to be relegated. But as Peters pointed out, the Championship is a league where form can and does change regularly. At the start of the year, Leicester were well set to win automatic promotion with Cardiff, yet just squeezed into the playoffs on the final day with a stoppage time goal. Given the investment they’ve had over the past couple of seasons they should have gone up.

“If this season’s Championship is half as competitive as last season’s we’re in for a great ride once again,” said Peters. “It’s a very even division.”

While clubs in the Barclays Premier League are likely to top £400 million with their summer spending, only around 15 players moving to Championship clubs cost fees. It is literally becoming the land of the free. “With financial fair play, this is the working market now,” said Peters.

Leicester typify the parsimonious approach to Championship transfers in 2013. Peters said: “People say ‘oh, they’re moneybags’ and yes, they spent a lot of money over the last three years, but Sven Goran-Eriksson torched a lot of money buying too many average players on high wages. The only arrival this summer is Zoumanae Bakayogo on a free from Tranmere. Leicester have done the least in the transfer market and their fans’ expectations have be lowered accordingly.”

FA Cup winners Wigan have – so far – held on to four of their most promising young players, James McCarthy, Shaun Maloney, James McArthur and Callum McManaman. Peters said: “Of the three clubs who went down, I think Wigan are the most likely to make a quick return to the Barclays Premier League. Buying Grant Holt is excellent business, he’ll score plenty of goals, while Marc-Antoine Fortune from West Bromwich is a solid signing.

“It was important for Reading to keep Adam Le Fondre while Wayne Bridge, Roysten Drenthe and Danny Williams give them experience. They also have a good manager in Nigel Adkins who led Southampton to two promotions playing outstanding football.

“Charlie Austin will help to improve QPR’s goalscoring, while if he can stay fit, Richard Dunne could be one of the summer’s best free transfers.

“If we are looking at surprise packages, Ipswich and Charlton are the best bets. When Mick McCarthy took over at Ipswich last season they had seven points from 13 games, but won 53 points from 33 after his arrival. If the season had carried on for another half a dozen games they would probably have made the playoffs. McCarthy’s experienced at this level and he’s won promotion before.

“Of the three sides that came up in 2012 I felt Charlton were the best equipped to finish highest, though finishing ninth, three points off a playoff place, surprised me. Chris Powell kept the momentum going from League One and while Charlton will rely heavily on last season’s team he has recruited well since his appointment in 2011. In Johnnie Jackson they have one of the most underrated midfielders in the Championship, he brings a lot of energy from box-to-box and scores his share of goals.”

Watford, the Championship’s top scorers last season, have signed most of the players who were on loan from Udinese and Granada. Lewis McGugan was signed from Forest – “I’m surprised Forest didn’t keep him because he’s a reliable scorer.”

Yeovil, making their debut at this level, are favourites to be relegated and manager Gary Johnson knows their form at Huish Park will be crucial. Eddie Howe transformed Bournemouth from League One relegation candidates to automatic promotion winners in six months. League One champions Doncaster have Paul Dickov in charge – “they didn’t do very well the last time they went up, despite playing attractive football.”

Peters said: “If you can get a really good team spirit going you have a chance but it’s a long season though the teams that come up are used to that having played 46 games in League One. They’ll know what a slog it is.”

So head on the block time. Peters said: “For promotion, in no particular order, my top six are Bolton, Wigan, Nottingham Forest, Watford, QPR and Reading.

“To go down, from Bournemouth, Doncaster, Yeovil, Huddersfield, Barnsley and possibly Blackpool who might struggle this season.

“But predicting anything in such an open, competitive league is so difficult. I absolutely love the division, bring it on.“

FWA SPOTLIGHT: QATAR 2022

Who do you think you are kidding Mr Blatter,

If you think your plan will work?

There are too many matches that will stop your little game,

Which eventually will make you think again,

‘Cause who do you think you are kidding Mr Blatter,

If you think your plan is dusted and done?

(with apologies to Bud Flanagan and Dad’s Army)

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

Has anyone at FIFA seriously thought it through? A 2022 World Cup in the winter? Really, have any of world football’s powerbrokers even had an informal chat about the prospect of moving Qatar 2022 from summer to winter? Jotted down a few ideas how it could possibly be done?

For a start, there will be inevitable legal challenges to any change of dates, with national associations and European television broadcasters at the front of the queue. M’luds will be licking their lips in anticipation.

There will be continuing heated (no pun intended) debates because of the 22-man FIFA executive committee who, in December 2010, voted for a summer World Cup in the sauna of Qatar – two members from Tahiti and Nigeria were already suspended – nine more have been replaced or stepped down, some amid allegations of financial impropriety (which is putting it mildly).

Sepp Blatter will hold talks with the executive committee in October and what the FIFA president wants, the FIFA president usually gets. So a 2013 FIFA executive committee significantly different from the 2010 panel that gave Qatar the right to host the 2022 World Cup in the summer will, if Blatter gets his way, change the timing to winter. And then leave UEFA and the 54 national associations with the impossible job of finding a way round a winter World Cup.

It was all so avoidable had there been an outbreak of common sense before the Qatar vote was cast.

Putting the legalities of it all to one side, let’s concentrate on the practicalities of disrupting the hugely lucrative European season for what would be the best part of two months.

For damage limitation purposes it would probably be better if the 2022 World Cup ended in December, when the Bundesliga and other leagues traditionally start a winter break because that way some players would not be thrown straight back into league action, though whenever the tournament is rescheduled would cause widespread fixture chaos. There is no “good” time to stage a winter finals.

Let’s say the 2022 World Cup started on November 10 and finished on December 11. There would be a minimum of two weeks between the last league games and the opening World Cup tie which means the domestic season would break on the weekend of October 22/23.

In between last season’s corresponding October dates and mid-December, there were 10 Barclays Premier League games, two Capital One Cup rounds and matchdays 3, 4, 5 and 6 of the Champions League [there were also four Europa League dates] – a total of 16 matches; in La Liga there were eight league matches, three ties of the Copa del Rey plus the Champions League – 15 matches; in the Bundesliga there were nine games, one DFB Cup round plus the Champions League – 14 matches; in Serie A there were eight league games, one Coppa Italia plus the Champions League – 13 matches.

The good news is the qualifying programme for Euro 2024 will not be affected and, almost certainly, neither would the Football League because so few players would be selected.

The problem, and this is hardly a closely guarded secret, is that domestic calendars are already full to bursting point with fixtures, not least for those clubs who advance in the two European cup competitions. The August and February international friendly dates could be scrapped while in the Barclays Premier League there is usually a spare midweek towards the end of August. Apart from that it is a solid diet of weekend/midweek fixtures with virtually no respite.

By starting the domestic seasons a week earlier in 2022/23 plus some shoe-horning in of league games in August, three extra games could be accommodated. Only seven Barclays Premier League matches, one Capital One round and four rounds of the Champions League to slot in somewhere, then.

The Barclays Premier League would resume, presumably, the weekend after the 2022 World Cup final – December 17/18. But for many of those involved in Qatar it would be straight back to international club football with the FIFA Club World Cup in Japan. Winning the Champions League in 2021/22 will be a double-edged sword.

And so to the second half of the domestic season. Winter breaks would be shortened while from an English perspective there may be two spare midweeks if the February 2023 international friendly date is also scrapped and you are not still involved in the League Cup. There are also potential FA Cup replays while in March there will be two Euro 2024 qualifiers.

In an unprecedented act of squeezing a quart of football fixtures into a pint calendar this is how the 2022/23 season for one of the Premier League’s leading clubs may have to look in order to accommodate a winter World Cup in Qatar. And if it looks a ridiculous schedule, it is nowhere near as ridiculous as initially giving Qatar the 2022 World Cup in the summer and then, two and a half years later, Blatter proposing a change to a winter tournament. News of 50 degree summers in the Middle East obviously takes time to reach presidential ears in Switzerland.

2022/23

July 31…………..Community Shield

August 7………..Barclays Premier League

August 10………BPL

August 14………BPL

August 17………BPL/Champions League qualifying tie

August 21………BPL

August 24………BPL/CL qualifying tie

August 28………BPL

August 31………League Cup

September 4…..BPL

September 9…..Euro 2024 qualifying tie

September 13…Euro 2024 qualifying tie

September 18…BPL

September 21…Champions League group stage (matchday 1)

September 25…BPL

September 28…League Cup

October 2………BPL

October 5……..Champions League group stage (matchday 2)

October 9……..BPL

October 14……Euro 2024 qualifying tie

October 18……Euro 2024 qualifying tie

October 22……BPL

BREAK FOR QATAR 2022

December 18…BPL

December 21…Champions League group stage (matchday 3)

December 26…BPL

December 28…League Cup

2013

January 1………BPL

January 4……..Champions League group stage (matchday 4)

January 8……..FA Cup 3rd round

January 11……League Cup

January 14……BPL

January 18……Champions League group stage (matchday 5)/League Cup

January 22……BPL

January 25……Champions League group stage (matchday 6)

January 28……FA Cup 4th round

February 1……BPL

February 4……BPL

February 8……BPL

February 12…BPL

February 15…Champions League Round of 16 (1)

February 19…BPL/FA Cup 5th round

February 22…BPL/League Cup final

March 1……..BPL

March 5……..BPL

March 8…….Champions League Round of 16 (2)

March 12…..BPL/FA Cup quarter-finals

March 17…..Euro 2024 qualifying tie

March 21…..Euro 2024 qualifying tie

March 26…..BPL

April 2………BPL

April 5………Champions League Quarter-Finals (1)

April 9………BPL

April 12…….Champions League Quarter-Finals (2)

April 15/16..FA Cup Semi-Finals/BPL

April 19…….BPL

April 23…….BPL

April 26…….Champions League Semi-Finals (1)

April 30…….BPL

May 3………Champions League Semi-Finals (2)

May 7………BPL

May 10…….Europa League final

May 14…….BPL

May 17…….BPL

May 21…….Final BPL fixtures

May 27…….FA Cup final

June 3……..Champions League final

June 7……..Euro 2024 qualifying tie

Of course, this does not take into account any postponements or FA Cup replays and is looked at from an English perspective. Countries who have winter breaks will have additional problems while UEFA have always ensured teams from league where winter starts early, such as Russia, play away in the December Champions League ties. And to anyone who says this schedule is farcical, I would agree but it is impossible to take seven weeks out of the European season and play those games before and after a winter World Cup. Whatever madcap rescheduling anyone comes up with, to paraphrase Rafa Benitez – you cannot play a World Cup in the winter without absolute mayhem – fact.

Of course, there is the possibility that Team Blatter will come to their senses – not that playing a World Cup in the summer in Qatar is at all sensible – and realise you cannot move the finals without completely disrupting European domestic football which, incidentally, FIFA have no jurisdiction over.

Qatar should never have been given the World Cup in the first place. If it is played as originally scheduled the heat will make it a severe health risk for players, match officials, spectators and everyone involved. If – and despite Blatter’s change of heart it must still remain an ‘if’ – it is moved to the winter then the European season will be in turmoil.

FIFA, the guardians of the game, put world football into a 50 degree mess when they awarded the 2022 finals to Qatar. Whichever solution they come up with to play the World Cup in the winter will create a mayhem never previously experienced in European football.

Heads you lose, tails you lose.

THE NO BAN LEAGUE WHERE COACHES AND PLAYERS MUST SPEAK TO THE MEDIA

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

OLD TRAFFORD, AUGUST 26TH, 2013…MANCHESTER UNITED V CHELSEA

At 5pm a Manchester United media relations official opens the home dressing room and invites the accredited media to enter. They are able to select the players they wish to interview about the game. Robin van Persie talks about his goal…Wayne Rooney is happy to chat about his United ambitions.

Meanwhile, in the Chelsea dressing room it is a similar story. Players happily talk to the media as they get dressed after a shower.

Neil Custis, Danny Taylor, Ian Ladyman, Richard Tanner, Mark Ogden and the rest of the Manchester-based reporters leave Old Trafford with note-pads full, happy in the knowledge that whatever they write – or indeed, whatever headlines their sports desk may put on their reports – they will not…in fact CANNOT be banned.

All of which is as likely to happen as being struck by lightning a minute after winning a lottery rollover.

Yet if members of the Football Writers’ Association covered American football such facilities would be reality – and much more. While English football too often erects a barrier between managers and players and the media, the National Football League’s press policy ensures those involved in the sport must speak to the press on a regular basis. Yes, must. And yes, regularly.

NFL clubs, and by extension their head coach and players, have no option but to adhere to the media regulations laid down by the League. Anyone who misses a mandatory interview session can be fined, even banned – a role reversal from England. The FWA have worked closely with the domestic authorities to improve press facilities with success, yet members of the Pro Football Writers of America enjoy a freedom we can only dream about.

Read on and weep…

By the time they reach the NFL, players have had several years of media experience at high school and college level. Despite this, all NFL franchises are still required to conduct a media training session each year prior to the start of the regular season for players and coaches. In addition, the club’s PR director must arrange for a separate media training meeting for the rookies. The NFL assists in identifying professional media trainers.

Before the regular season begins all 32 teams produce, for their players and coaches, a brochure listing individual local media (with photos) and reviewing club policies on media and public/community relations. Imagine Ashley Cole being handed a booklet with details and photographs of the press he has not spoken to for six years…

In England, apart from some local newspapers, there is little or no daily contact with managers and particularly players. Generally speaking, the day before a Barclays Premier League game the manager and perhaps one player will attend a press conference. In the NFL, each club must open their locker room during the week on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday – Tuesday is treated as a players’ day off – to all accredited media for player interviews for a minimum – yes minimum – of 45 minutes. This is required under League rules and is in their contracts. It is not permissible for any group of players to boycott the media. Star players must be available at least once during the week.

All NFL players are also required to participate in weekly conference calls with the media from the opposing team’s city, though no player is required to do more than five such sessions in the regular season.

In addition to holding a news conference after every game, the head coach must be available on a regular basis to the media that regularly cover the team – at a minimum on four days.

Players who feel uneasy about female reporters in the locker room receive no sympathy from the League, whose policy is: “By law, women must be granted the same rights to perform their jobs as men. Please remember that women reporters are professionals and should be treated as such.”

In the locker rooms, the home club must make arrangements for both teams to screen the shower areas from view without blocking access to player lockers. Also, each team must supply its players with wrap-around towels or robes in addition to the normal supply of bath towels for post-game showers.

The NFL see the media as a valuable outlet to sell their product. Their policy states: “Cooperation with the news media is essential to the continuing popularity and financial prosperity of our game and its players. This is an important part of your job, especially in these challenging times when everyone in the NFL must do more to promote our game.”

Anyone who reads the way the US media covers the sport will realise that such an open policy does not result in lovey-dovey reporting. Hacks on the other side of the pond have a deep well of vitriol, but they are not punished for any critical views.

As footballwriters.co.uk has highlighted many times, English clubs ban reporters for the most ridiculous of reasons, not least for printing an injury story that is 100 per cent accurate, but which the manager would rather have been kept quiet. This cannot happen in the NFL as the League insist that clubs must ensure that all medical information issued to the media is credible, responsible, and specific in terms that are meaningful to teams, media, and fans. The NFL believe that their injury reporting policy relates directly to the integrity of the game, and club management, in consultation with its medical staff, is responsible for the accuracy and appropriateness of medical information that is distributed in response to public interest.

In other words, teams cannot be economical with the truth and no injuries can be kept secret from the press, the public and, most of all, spectators.

Franchises are also forbidden to ban individual members of the regularly accredited media for what is perceived as “unfair coverage” or any similar reason. In the USA, journalists can write what they want without fear of reprisal. It is a no-ban culture in the land of the free, yet in a country that has fought for the right to free speech an opinion that does not go down well with a club can see a football writer banned.

Oh, and all salaries of coaches and players are made public.

Sigh.

THE FWA INTERVIEW: TONY HUDD

BEING A LEYTON ORIENT FAN ALMOST A CRIME IN NORTH KOREA

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

THE broken biro was the clue. It would take a mind of Derren Brown proportions to guess someone who wanted to buy a new biro was a journalist, but for the, ahem, North Korean travel representative the two and two became a very uncomfortable four for Tony Hudd.

According to a recent survey a newspaper reporter was chosen as the worst job. In North Korea, a journalist – well, a foreign journalist – does not simply have a bad job, he is the enemy of the state. Hudd had been granted a visa to visit the world’s most secretive country on the premise that he was a retired insurance broker. His pen proved to be a mighty sword for the North Korean government officials, sorry, travel representatives who immediately suspected the long-standing member of the Football Writers’ Association’s national committee was a journalist.

Hudd realised his ambition to visit Pyongyang after his curiosity was heightened by M*A*S*H, the TV series based around the staff of an army hospital in the Korean war. Maybe he should have preferred Neighbours because unsurprisingly there were precious few laughs in North Korea, starting with his arrival at Pyongyang airport which makes up for its basic facilities with a new line of customs questioning.

“What’s this?”

“Shaving foam.”

“What?”

“Shaving foam.”

“What’s that?”

“For shaving.”

“How you mean?”

Hudd had to spread some foam over his cheeks and fake a mock shave for the benefit of the now satisfied customs official. One wonders how North Korean men shave though it is probably best if this remains one of the mysteries in the land that time seems to have forgotten.

“M*A*S*H was written by Larry Gelbart who was responsible for some of the best one-liners ever,” said Hudd. “Watching the series I became interested in the whole Korean peninsular. I never thought I’d go there, but when I saw details of a tour in a Sunday newspaper I put the wheels in motion. It was a party of 18, all Brits, we flew from Heathrow to Beijing and then Air Koryo to Pyongyang. I was granted my Korean visa by the travel company via an office in Germany. I hope I’ll still be able to enter the United States. It was an adventure, an ambition fulfilled. I wanted to see first-hand a country so diverse from where I live.

“We couldn’t take mobile phones or lap-tops. I did take a pen but when it broke they gave me the third degree. Why did I want a pen? Because I was writing a diary to show my wife when I return. They had their suspicions and immediately asked me whether i was a journalist, but I got away with it. My questioners were allegedly guides but were really government officers assigned to the party. There was another guy who filmed everything, claiming he was taking a holiday dvd of people on holiday. It was surreal, someone filming me while I was taking photographs  where I was allowed to take photographs.”

Talking to the minders about world affairs was futile. “They spoke good English, but would go off at tangents. It was obvious they had never forgiven George W. Bush for calling their country ‘an axis of evil.’ We were told that North Korea would crush the imperialists – ‘make no mistake.’”

The tour party’s day started with a slap-up breakfast of egg on toast and a cup of coffee (one cup was the permitted maximum).

“There was no free access,” said Hudd. “I couldn’t even walk a few hundred yards down the road unaccompanied. I was told that a Danish tourist last year feigned illness and stayed in his room when the party left for the scheduled trip and decided to go walkabout. He was immediately picked up by a soldier and there were all sorts of problems. The Dane had to write a formal letter of apology to the government for his actions before they would set him free. You have to realise when you go there, you do so on their terms.”

When in, do as and the party had to bow when they passed a statue of Kim Il-Sung (the great leader) and Kim Jong-Il (the supreme leader) and lay flowers in respect of the founding fathers of North Korea.

While Pak Du Ik, who scored the winning goal in the 1966 World Cup tie against Italy, is a rare idol in a society that is based on equality, being a Leyton Orient supporter is considered almost a crime.

“One of the party was an Orient fan and walked into a store wearing their shirt. He was immediately thrown out. Orient are sponsored by Samsung who are a South Korean company.”

A visit to the Demilitarized Zone showed that a little capitalism is alive and well in North Korea. “They had a thriving merchandise shop with T-shirts and all sorts of souvenirs.”

For Hudd, the most revealing – as much as was allowed – part of the day was when he sat outside his hotel and people-watched. “It struck me how well dressed people were, the men had fine suits and the girls wore modern dresses. Many of the children had never seen a Westerner before and looked at me as if I was from the Planet Zog.” Pyongyang was free of litter and less surprisingly, graffiti.

A pleasant surprise was the beer in Pyongyang. “Apparently, the old Ushers brewery in Trowbridge was bought by the North Korean government, dismantled it and reassembled it in North Korea. The beer was not bad at all.”

During his 10 days in North Korea there was no contact with the outside world. “In certain suites in the hotel you can tune into Al Jazeera and possibly the BBC World Service, but North Koreans have no idea what goes on anywhere else. They are told what happens which is rather different.”

Some cynics may say that certain areas of English football also follows this principle.

Tony Hudd spent  36 years working as the Kent Messenger Group’s chief football writer, covering Gillingham and then Charlton plus England internationals and now co-presents BBC Radio Kent’s Saturday afternoon sports show.

A GAME OF TWO HALVES (of 37 minutes each)

By TONY INCENZO

Phoenix 2 Hanworth Villa Veterans 1

at HM Prison & Young Offender Institution Feltham, Bedfont Road, Feltham, Middlesex TW13 4ND

Wednesday, December 21 2011

Kick-off 2.48pm

London Airport Midweek League Premier Division

Admission: Free

Attendance: 1

Overview: The Holy Grail in my hobby of groundhopping is to visit somewhere that no other football fan has been to. This was the first (and hopefully the last) time I have ever been inside a prison. I received special permission by email to attend this fixture, but I was told not to bring a phone or a camera with me.

History: Phoenix FC are a team for members of the Young Offender Institution at Feltham. They play all their fixtures at home for obvious reasons. The original Feltham complex was built in 1854 as an industrial school. It was taken over in 1910 by the Prison Commissioners to become a borstal institution. The existing building opened as a remand centre in March 1988. The current HM Prison & Young Offender Institution Feltham was formed by the amalgamation of Ashford Remand Centre and Feltham Borstal in 1990/91.

Entry: I was asked to arrive in the main car park at 1.50pm along with the match referee and visiting players from Hanworth Villa Vets. The kick-off was originally scheduled for 2.30pm. We were met by members of the prison staff who brought us all in together…via an airport-style metal detector, a body search, numerous locked gates and along a path to the changing rooms. This process took 45 minutes. After the players and ref got changed, we were then escorted through more locked gates out to the playing area.

Ground description: Situated behind the imposing prison building, a high mesh fence with barbed wire on top surrounds the two football pitches and a rugby pitch. There were dug-outs along one touchline and I watched the match from there as the only spectator.

Programme details: No programme was issued, but I was handed an information leaflet about the prison on entering the visitors’ centre.

The match: It didn’t kick-off until 2.48pm due to the delays in getting into the prison. As the young offenders had to be back in their block by 4.30pm, the ref opted for two halves of 37 minutes with a five minute half-time. Phoenix played some good stuff with young, enthusiastic players bolstered by two muscular prison officers who filled the centre-back positions. There was a good spirit throughout with no dissent or swearing and very few fouls. Hanworth took the lead but Phoenix fought back to win 2-1.

Exit: After the match, the ref and Hanworth players showered and got changed. We were then escorted out of the prison together with the heavy gates slamming behind us.

Tony Incenzo is a regular contributor to the Queens Park Rangers programme and talkSPORT.

NEXT WEEK: Tony Hudd explains how a pen in Pyongyang [almost] blew his cover.

Junior FWA Q&A

Conor Schmidt (son of The Times sports writer Alyson Rudd) on a rare Brede at Fulham and pouring brandy down a diner’s cleavage

Tell us a little about yourself…age, school, favourite and least favourite subjects?
I am 14 and I go to Hampton school. My favourite subject is Spanish and my least favourite is geography.

Which club do you support?
Fulham FC.

Who does your mum support?
Liverpool FC.

Is she grumpy when they lose?
Yes.

Were you under pressure to support the same club?
No.

What is your finest achievement as a footballer?
Winning best player at my football club.

What is the memorable match you have ever seen (either live or on TV)?
Chelsea v Barcelona in 2012. It was the most dramatic game I have seen.

Who is your favourite footballer?
Brede Hangeland.

Is there one aspect of football that particularly annoys you?
Referees never get the wall back ten yards.

What is your favourite pre-match meal?
A Pukka pie.

What is your most treasured football memorabilia?
My best player trophy.

Do you read everything your mum writes?
No but sometimes she makes me.

Tell us one funny story about your mum?
She was an accident prone waitress. She set her hair on fire leaning over a table candle and she poured hot brandy sauce down a diner’s cleavage.

IN FOOTBALL, WINNING SILVERWARE CAN STILL BE “NOT DOING THE JOB TO THE REQUIRED STANDARD”

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

SO HOW DOES a football club sack a manager? Any way they wish – if an employer wants to dismiss someone, there is no specific process they must go through by law, though there are restrictions covering the reasons, even if the public do not always hear them.

The tin-tack is rarely a surprise in football and at some clubs even success is no guarantee of job continuity. It would be hard for a multi-national company to sack a chief executive if record profits or sales had been posted and no explanation given for his departure, yet in the beautiful game silverware does not mean safety. Winning the Barclays Premier League, a domestic cup or even the Champions League can still be deemed “not doing their job to the required standard.” The manager leaves with the usual platitudes and thanks “for all he’s done and we wish him well for the future.”

The reasons for replacing a manager are not always explained to supporters, despite fans being cited as “so important” by clubs. Transparency is something football preaches, but too often does not practise. Fans can be kept in the dark over a sacking with the press left to speak to the people who know the people involved in an attempt to put together a jig-saw of events. The departing manager is usually tied by a confidentiality agreement which means any loose talk could see his compensation significantly reduced. Explain why you were sacked and it’ll cost you.

Spurs fans still don’t really know why Harry Redknapp was shown the door at White Hart Lane last June, while Danny Wilson (Sheffield United) and Micky Mellon (Fleetwood Town) are more recent examples of managers being sacked without explanation by clubs doing well at the time.

Some managers leave by mutual consent, though it is difficult to imagine a scenario whereby both parties sit down at a meeting and, would you believe, at the same time come up with the idea that it is best for everyone to move on. This is apparently what happened with Stoke City and Tony Pulis, Kilmarnock and Kenny Shiels, Alex McLeish after 41 days at Nottingham Forest, Ipswich Town and Paul Jewell and Real Madrid and Jose Mourinho.

We await any insight to Gustavo Poyet’s initial suspension and subsequent sacking by Brighton & Hove Albion. There have been no details made public why a manager who has done a first-class job at the club has been dismissed and replaced by Oscar Garcia, though legal issues are clouding the Uruguayan’s situation.

There are different types of dismissal: fair dismissal, unfair dismissal, constructive dismissal and wrongful dismissal. A dismissal is fair or unfair depending on the employer’s reason for it. Constructive dismissal can be when an employee resigns because his company have breached their employment contract.

Newcastle United’s appointment of Joe Kinnear as director of football had many football writers believing it could spell the end of Alan Pardew’s reign as manager because of similar problems during Kevin Keegan’s second spell in charge. When Dennis Wise was brought in as director of football it was the springboard for Keegan to quit St James’ Park. A Premier League Managers’ Arbitration Tribunal ruled that Keegan was entitled to resign and claim constructive dismissal, awarding him £2 million plus indemnity costs in his claim against NUFC after a row over the purchase of players by the club.

Keegan contended that when he was appointed manager it was a term of his contract that he would have “the final say” on transfers of players into the club. He claimed that the club breached that term by signing Ignacio Gonzalez,  a Uruguayan, against his wishes and this was a repudiation of his contract, entitling him to resign. Wise had telephoned Keegan to say he had found a good young player who the club should consider signing. He invited Keegan to view the player on YouTube. Keegan was not impressed and said Gonzalez was not good enough and he was not interested in signing him. Nevertheless, the club went ahead with the deal.

An employee can be dismissed if they are incapable of doing their job to the required standard or they have committed some form of misconduct. The former is subjective and while Poyet said he plans to appeal his sacking as he is entitled to, this is believed to be more of a legal process than believing he has a realistic chance of managing the Seagulls again, though Garcia’s position is chief coach rather than manager. On Planet Football, where compensation packages cushion the disappointment of the boot, the sack is invariably final though in law managers do have the right to appeal.

The Employment Act 2002 carries three obligations for employers when dismissing staff:

  1. If someone is disciplined or dismissed, they must be given a statement of the reasons; this statement must contain an invitation to a meeting with senior staff
  2. There must be a meeting between the employee and senior staff about the action taken
  3. The worker must be given the chance to appeal.

The League Managers Association have developed a model contract of employment for managers which includes a clause about a director of football. Important issues which frequently form the basis of disputes between managers and clubs and which should be addressed in the manager’s contract include:

o    the terms upon which a contract may be terminated early

o    the level of control which a manager will be able to exert over team matters such as team selection, player acquisition and player disposal – or whether the manager is operating under and answerable to a European-style director of football

o    the performance targets of the manager – such as promotion, European qualification or avoiding relegation

o    regular appraisals at which performance targets may be re-visited in light of changing circumstances both on and off the field

o    contingency plans in the event that the club is relegated

o    the circumstances in which the club must inform the manager of an approach by another club for the manager’s services

o    whether the manager can carry out any additional media roles to fit around his managerial duties.

Yet whatever is written in the contract, the reasons for a manager’s sacking will often remain secret because the owners of English football clubs do not feel they have to give explanations for their actions.

YOHAN KEBAB? THERE ARE PLENTY OF TASTY NAMES THAT ARE FAR FROM LAMB-EASY TO PRONOUNCE

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

WE HAVE all been there and done it, suffered a bout of foot in the mouth disease and mispronounced someone’s name incorrectly. Joe Kinnear does not have the monopoly on malapropisms, but he raised the bar to an ignominious art form during his talkSPORT interview with Andy Goldstein and Bobby Gould on Monday evening’s Sportsbar.

The Newcastle United director of football unwittingly renamed Yohan Cabaye “Yohan Kebab” while managing director Derek Llambias became former director of football Derek “Lambeezee.” There were many other name-changes and errors of facts in Kinnear’s astonishing 15-minute rant which included numerous barbs about the “snidey press.” One wonders what owner Mike Ashtray [sic] will make of it all.

Yet the fact is Brits and Irish always have difficulty with foreign names. True, there can be a fine dividing line between accuracy and being pretentious while a lot depends how a player is introduced when he comes to our shores. David Ginola’s first name has always been pronounced the French way – Jack Charlton excepted – and Sami Hyypia was always Hoopia.

Dimitar Berbatov should be BerBARtov – no more difficult that the incorrect BERbatov. The Arsenal midfielder is “Tomash Rositski” and Chelsea’s Eden Hazard is “Azar.” If Gonzalo Higuain signs for Arsenal, as has been reported, start practising “IG-WAY-EEN.” As in Cockney, the “h” is silent in Spanish.

Not a lot of people know Pat van den Hauwe should have been pronounced “Horver” (the mind boggles how he would have reacted) and though Schteve McClaren has had so much stick over the way he spoke he almost caught Dutch Elm Disease, he was coach of FC “Tventuh.” Sho there.

Germany coach Joachim Löw is known as Jogi and if your keyboard does not have umlauts it’s Loew. But his surname is not pronounced Low – it brings back memories of Ray Stubbs’ Barry White-esque tribute to Peter N’lerve on Fantasy Football – because the Germany coach is Lerve. Yogi Lerve.

There are some names that would give even the most eloquent director of football, broadcaster or commentator problems. Clive Tyldesley and company will be relieved they did not work in the United States a generation ago otherwise they may have been talking about Fair Hooker (Cleveland Browns), Johnny Dickshott (Pittsburgh Pirates), Randy Raper (Alabama coach), Bear Trapp (Idaho Steelheads) and the best/worst (delete as applicable) of all: Lucious Pusey. Lucious was an Easttern Illonois linebacker, by the way, who legally changed his name to Lucious Seymour for some reason.

There are a long list of Dicks, always good for a playground laugh, but perhaps the top two are Dick Felt (Boston Patriots) and Dick Paradise – not a TV documentary on a Greek island but a Minnesota NHL star.

I am sure the names of former Czech footballer Milan Fukal and Dutch player Brian Pinas are not pronounced literally. Which is just as well.

According to “Busty, Slag and Nob End” by Russell Ash (Headline £9.99) history has given us some names that make Yohan Kebab quite acceptable. Are you sitting comfortably? Here we go…in sport there’s Ars Bandeet (Algerian footballer), Dick Paswater (NASCAR driver), Jimmy Gobble (baseball) and Chief Bender (baseball). Oh, and Luke Myring (rugby). From the world of showbiz we have Doris Condom (Any Given Sunday), Pamela Hardon (Haloween), Jennifer Shag (Automatons) and Thomas Wanker (The Day After Tomorrow).

And as for the Lord’s head groundsman…let’s not even go there.

Brian Mawhinney: Why England’s World Cup bid failed

Former Football League chairman BRIAN MAWHINNEY, who was deputy chairman of the bid to stage the 2018 finals, reveals…

WHY ENGLAND’S WORLD CUP BID FAILED

By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

MORE than most people involved in football, Brian Mawhinney has been there, seen it and done it.

In 2003 he was appointed chairman of the Football League in succession to Keith Harris, spending seven years in the position. After one year in office, he oversaw a re-organisation of the League’s structure, including renaming the former Division One as the Football League Championship. A former Northern Ireland Sports Minister, he was deputy chairman of England’s bid to host the 2018 World Cup.

Now Baron Mawhinney of Peterborough, he has also served as chairman of the Conservative party during his 26 years as an MP.

In his autobiography, Just A Simple Belfast Boy, he takes us behind the world of politics, football politics, giving a damning verdict on England’s failed World Cup bid and FIFA’s “unimpressive” behaviour as Qatar won the right to host the 2022 finals.

WORLD CUP BID

The choreography of our bid presentation in Zurich was rightly hailed as another success, but the voters were not impressed. They wanted more substance from the contenders. The Russian Deputy Prime Minister’s speech was dismissed by our team as too long, complicated and boring. But he addressed the members’ real concerns about Russia – infrastructure, stadia, travel distances and so on – in an impressive and reassuring way. Mr Putin understood what he was doing and what was being done in his name.

When it came to Qatar’s turn to present its case, the wife of the Emir cut through the tendency towards Hollywood hype. She asked a pointed, searing question. When did FIFA members think would be the ‘right time’ to hold the World Cup finals in an Arab country? Despite Qatar’s burning heat, the voters got the political message.

For our part we made legacy claims which simply were not believable and talked about how we would use football to change lives in a way that must have seemed like scratching the surface to those whose lives and countries literally had been transformed by the beautiful game. Our bid was polished, professional and very well received. Sadly its substance was not thought to match its presentation.

No country received better accolades from FIFA for its bid book and inspection visit. So why only one vote apart from [England’s FIFA ex-co representative] Geoff Thompson’s? In no particular order: we were seriously underfinanced; we got our strategy wrong; we created management and governance structures which were dogged by conflicting egos and football politics, too much of which stemmed from the senior ranks of the FA; we had little, if any, influence in FIFA; the British media had become the bête noire and the Premier League and its clubs did not flex their considerable financial and sporting muscle sufficiently on our behalf.

Geoff Thompson is an honourable man of genuine integrity. I count him a Christian friend; but not even his best friends would claim he commands situations, compels support or shapes outcomes. His judgment is usually sound but too low key for the brash world of FIFA football. And he was our one and only national representative among the FIFA elite. He told me he thought he had persuaded some of his friends on the executive committee to vote for us, presumably believing their word. In the event they let him down. Or, to be blunt, they lied to him. Maybe they thought, knowing Geoff’s sense of Christian forgiveness, that their lack of morality was relatively risk free.

FIFA’s behaviour throughout the process was unimpressive, to put it delicately. It had created a strong sense that its judgments would be objectively based on demonstrably fair criteria. This turned out to be nonsense. Qatar’s risk factor assessment was high, though not, of course, when it came to finance. The country was deemed to have insufficient infrastructure, no stadia (except on planning paper) and a temperature which would be around 45 degrees Celsius at game time.

And what notice did ExCo members, including Sepp Blatter, take of this risk assessment? None.

THE PRESS

My first press conference was a revelation. Two questions predominated. The first was, chairman – a politician? A Conservative politician? (in tones which parodied John McEnroe’s famous ‘you cannot be serious’). This was an early warning of football’s disdain for government and politicians. On that first day, the cream of English football reporting had great difficulty in progressing beyond the box labelled ‘politics.’ There was no recognition that I may have any skills – inherited or learned – relevant experience or personal commitment.

Indeed the continued use of the word ‘politician’ too often sounded as if it was accompanied by a curl of the lip. English football fans deserved something a little more analytical and, dare I add, more objective.

The second question was how many clubs I thought the Football League would lose by the end of the season. The reporters’ downbeat assessment was that six to eight clubs could go out of business. I told them I did not have a crystal ball and would not guess (‘speculate’ is the polite word).

Many football journalists are transfixed by speculation; perhaps because so much about football revolves around prediction, passion, prejudice, hope and injury rather than hard fact. To be fair, they have to explain a game where the past is never a reliable indicator of the future. Some journalists thrive on substituting ‘what-if or maybe’ in place of informed judgment. They talk and write as if feelings are a solid base for factual analysis – or indeed even for guesswork. ‘How do/did you feel’ has become the lazy substitute for proper questioning in football, as it has throughout the media. ‘What do you think?’ seldom gets examined.

Fortunately there are outstanding exceptions to this slightly unflattering generalisation. Each of us will have his favourites. Mine include, but are not restricted to, Patrick Barclay, David Conn, Charlie Sale, Martin Samuel, Henry Winter and Jimmy Armfield.

CHEATING

So what is cheating? Other than physically endangering an opposing player, the cheating I find most unacceptable is the deliberate blocking of the taking of free-kicks by the refusal of one or more players to retreat 10 yards immediately a free-kick has been given against their side. The rule book says that is a yellow card offence. Instead what we see far too often is a deliberate and often apparently practised effort to prevent the taking of the free-kick by the team that offended. Shame on the guilty managers.

When you add to this the pervasive stealing of yards at throw-ins and free-kicks, players claiming advantage they know they do not deserve, or illegally trying to intimidate the referee, the deliberate illegal holding, often wrestling, of opponents in the penalty area, shirt-pulling of epidemic proportions, iniquitous diving, bad-mouthing referees, the feigning of injury (in an attempt to falsely damage the prospects of an opposing player) you are left wondering why managers do not, and do not even want to, exercise more control over their players and why club directors do not insist they do.

A flurry of yellow cards, as the laws require, would lead to player expulsions, is an argument against such punishment. There would be short-term mayhem. So what? Once managers understand that the change in attitude was permanent they would very quickly force a change of behaviour from their players. And the game – faster, cleaner, fairer – would be transformed for the benefit of the fans. But everyone opts for being loved rather than respected.

*Just A Simple Belfast Boy by Brian Mawhinney (Biteback Publishing, £25 hardback).