The annual general meeting of the Football Writers’ Association will be held at the Swan, Bayswater Road, on May 15 (noon).
Football Writers’ Association AGM 2012
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Author Archives: FWA News Editor
The FWA Interview: Ian Ridley
YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR NERVE WHEN FANS TELL YOU TO SACK THE MANAGER says Ian Ridley
By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES
IT IS tempting to say that the chairman stormed in the newspaper office, sought out the person responsible for the outrage against his club and gave the poor hack the hairdryer treatment, albeit the non-league variety.
But it would be top-spin of a kind not even England’s cricketers have experienced in recent months. And Ian Ridley doesn’t do storms.
The award-winning football writer and author is chairman of St Albans City who play in the Southern League Premier Division, his two jobs giving him an insight into the sport from both sides of the divide few have experienced. A long-serving member of the Football Writers’ Association, Ridley knows the value of local newspaper coverage to a non-league club.
The Herts Advertiser is where Keith Perry, the former Daily Telegraph sports editor, and Niall Sloane who took over as ITV head of sport three years ago, cut their journalistic teeth. “It used to be a big paper,” said Ridley. “But it’s now a freesheet and two weeks ago they made their St Albans reporter redundant.
“I had to have some stern words with the group’s sports editor because they weren’t covering us properly. No other organisation in St Albans attracts crowds of nearly 500 and they weren’t bothering to send a reporter along.”
It was another victory for St Albans as Ridley’s persuasive tones saw coverage totalling a page and a half the following week.
Wearing his FWA hat, Ridley, who celebrates one year with the Saints in June, writes press releases for the club’s web site – “quite often they appear word-for-word in the local paper.” The secret, Ridley revealed, is not to write them as club statements “but as a news story…then you are more likely to get them in.”
Ridley receives no payment for his role at St Albans while he took no salary for being chairman of his beloved Weymouth until his departure in 2004.
His involvement comes from his deep-lying affection for football which stretches beyond the usual fan’s love affair with the beautiful game.
Ridley said: “I was chairman for 18 months in 2003 and 2004. The club were in a mess and I wanted to do something about it. Steve Claridge came in as manager but then a guy [Martyn Harrison] with a lot of money took over and it was downhill for the club. In 18 months the debts were £3 million which for a non-league club is amazing. He pulled the plug and since then Weymouth have been on a downward spiral.
“I returned in 2009 to help but illness prevented me from staying more than six months.”
Restored to full health, Ridley was asked to perform a Red Adair role with the Saints, the club having suffered relegation from the Conference South last season. To add to their troubles, they were also handed a £10,000 penalty for financial indiscretions. Having lived in the area for over 30 years Ridley had a natural affinity with St Albans – “a lovely little club with a good history.”
“Lawrence Levy and John McGowan who bought the club last May, came to me and said that people around the town had told them I knew about football and had experience of being a chairman…could I help them?”
It was an offer Ridley could not refuse. “I’m more a director of football. I work closely with the manager, David Howell, who was Barry Fry’s assistant at Birmingham City. What he can do is to bring us players at the right price.
“It’s taking up a lot of my time at the moment as the season reaches a a climax. My job has been to try to send out a competitive team on the pitch, to raise gates which have increased by 25 per cent and to bring in more commercial deals.
“Since Christmas we have the best record in the division and we are seven points shy of the play-offs at the moment but we can get back in there if we beat Weymouth at home.
“There’s a real buzz about the job. When the team wins it is a terrific feeling and the supporters are very appreciative. Someone said to me when you are in football you want to be out of it and when you are out of it you wish you were involved. It gets under your skin, especially at non-league level where you tend to know everyone.”
Ridley believes the problems involved in running a club are, in principle, the same at this level as the Barclays Premier League, only the scale of things differs.
He said: “There are politics at every football club. The same things go on at all levels. People within clubs have their own agendas and the job of chairman is to hold all these factions together.”
Ridley is not quite in the Roman Abramovich class when it comes to dressing-room visits but admits to twice going to see the team in what is traditionally a no-go area for chairmen.
He said: “Before the first match of the season I went to welcome the new players to the club. I also went in the dressing-room the game after we’d lost an FA Cup tie – with the manager’s blessing I hasten to add. I didn‘t scream or shout, they thought they were going to be given a bollocking but they didn’t get one, I just asked them what we could do to get them to perform better and how they could play to their potential which they have in the second-half of the season.”
Being a chairman has helped Ridley the writer while his journalistic career been enhanced by his experience on the other side of the fence. “There is a crossover,” he said. “Herbert Chapman was a journalist, you know.
“I find what helps me as chairman is that I have a feel for what fans want. Having covered the game it gives me a way of handling situations that are not going to damage the club having seen what other clubs do wrong because their PR is poor.
“I try to organise at least three fans’ forums each season where supporters can air any grievances. You can head off a lot of criticism if you front up. As much as anything it has changed the way I look at the game. It’s helped me as a columnist because I now know what goes on inside football clubs and in many respects the only difference between pro clubs and non-league clubs is the number of zeros on the cheque.”
Having written about clubs under pressure to change manager, Ridley also knows what it is like to be given such advice by supporters earlier this season when Saints were struggling for consistency.
He said: “When we lost three or four games in a row it was a bit grim to hear fans tell you to sack the manager. It was a question of holding our nerve at that point because there was no point in ditching him [Howell] after half a season. It can be depressing when you aren’t being paid for it…I’ve become worse as I’ve got older. I used to think ‘I’ll just sit there in the directors box and be calm.’ It’s like Wenger, the older he’s got the more intense and frustrated he’s become. So am I.”
Ian Ridley’s latest book, ‘There’s A Golden Sky – How 20 years of the Premier League has changed football forever’ – is published by Bloomsbury.
My Week: Dan Johnson
Dan Johnson, Premier League Director of Communications on a ‘spy’ at a Premier League meeting…banning journalists…and an Arsenal/Spurs groundshare
Part of the continued appeal of working in football and the media is the varied nature of the issues and never quite knowing what each day is going to bring. It keeps life interesting, challenging and makes sure you’re always on your toes. I have been at the Premier League for 11 years now and plenty of things have changed, but that buzz you get from wondering quite what the day will bring has remained constant.
Tuesday 27th March
First thing a meeting with premierleague.com in-house editorial team to discuss some up-coming activities and campaigns – principally our 20 Seasons Awards launch and our involvement in the government’s ‘Great’ campaign and our ‘takeover’ of their Facebook site in mid-April. These are two exciting, and very different initiatives that require a lot of planning and demonstrate the differing elements that the Premier League encompasses.
The 20 Seasons Awards are a celebration of the football – players, managers, goals, matches – that is fundamentally what the Premier League has to be all about. The challenge is how to best time and communicate all of this at a pretty hectic point in the season. Digital channels like Twitter and Facebook can both help and hinder – once something is communicated it’s everywhere – and we have to be mindful of the needs of our rightsholders and the print media if we want to engage as many fans as possible across all platforms.
The ‘Great’ campaign is both a communications and public affairs activity – No. 10 are keen to showcase the best of Britain in the year of the Diamond Jubilee and the Olympics, so it’s a good thing to be asked to get involved in.
Next to Manchester for the General Assembly of the European Professional Football Leagues (EPFL) – a chance on the train to catch-up with cuts, Twitter and papers for the upcoming Premier League Shareholders’ meeting on Friday.
The EPFL General Assembly itself is an interesting mix – updates on its activity including a controversial MoU with UEFA meaning that the European leagues accept they can’t schedule matches when Champions League or Europa League games are scheduled. The Premier League has refused to sign – we would never seek to go head-to-head with European games, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.
UEFA and FIFA representatives present on Financial Fair Play and the Transfer Monitoring System respectively. There is some good work coming out of both organisations at operational level – we don’t always disagree..!
The evening is spent watching Chelsea’s impressive victory over Benfica in the equally impressive Manchester Town Hall – it’s an official EPFL dinner, but the match is on in the background. At half-time the EPFL’s CSR programme, in partnership with the UN’s Food and Agriculture Organisation, Football v Hunger receives backing from a European Commissioner, Kristalina Georgieva, and the former Spurs and German international, Stefan Freund. He speaks well – though can’t resist a few mild Euro 96 references. Reminds me that we need to do more to engage with our former stars and get them involved.
Wednesday 28th March
An early start with the 6.35am train back to London with a full deck of newspapers and Twitter on my iPad. Still prefer the real thing – gives you a greater sense of the context and importance of the story seeing how it’s been set out in the paper, though Twitter opens your eyes to how journalists interact with each other and links to some pretty insightful and thoughtful blogs.
Plenty of stories of interest – particularly the FA’s search for a Technical Director, something the Premier League welcomes – though a message goes through to the website to do the story straight and ignore the speculation that the papers can indulge in. Good steers though I’m sure they are…
Jon Woodgate gives legs to the theme that the Premier League has dropped in quality. Always hard to counter these types of story especially when our clubs haven’t performed to their recent high-standard in Europe. The Premier League model has delivered European success and I’m sure it will again – football comes in cycles – and I know our top clubs will be working all the harder to produce teams capable of challenging in Europe in the coming seasons. Oh – and Chelsea might still go on and do something special.
The afternoon is given over to interviewing for premierleague.com editorial positions. The current state and morale of the newspaper industry has produced some quality, and surprising, candidates.
Milan v Barca provides the evening’s entertainment – an enthralling encounter marked out by top defending by Milan and a dodgy pitch.
Thursday 29th March
A big news day, and a sure sign the title-race is hotting up, with a BBC Patrick Vieira interview sparking off headlines and recriminations in equal measure. Most of the media has taken the BBC lead that Vieira’s comments are critical of Manchester United and the favourable penalty decision they received against Fulham. City and Vieira are of the view that they have been heavily spun and the context of the interview was Patrick’s role as a Football v Hunger ambassador – as such they take decision to ban the BBC’s Dan Roan.
I exchange messages with Vicky Kloss, Manchester City’s Chief Communications Officer, who explains the decision and stresses that it wasn’t taken lightly and in no way impacts on the club’s overall relationship with the BBC. I am generally not in favour of banning journalists, like most clubs, including City. I would always rather have the debate, but I can empathise with clubs who sometimes feel it is the only sanction that gets a reaction.
A bit of fire-fighting of our own is required after Nick Hawkins, the Crown Prosecution Service’s lead on football and sports prosecutions, suggests that racist and abusive chanting should be met by clubs having to play behind closed doors or getting docked points. Our view is that criminal behaviour should be prosecuted by the statutory authorities and that football clubs are doing a huge amount to educate and deal with any instances of abuse with high standards of stewarding, CCTV and excellent operational relationships with the police. It would be interesting to see how many reported instances of abuse were taken forward by the CPS I muse to several journalists..
Friday 30th March
Unusual for the Premier League to hold a Shareholders’ Meeting – the 20 member clubs – on a Friday – they are normally on Thursdays – but the fixture schedule doesn’t just affect the matches..!
I know many journalists who would love to get inside one of these meetings and some who manage to get things out of them without even being there. Coincidently, a certain well known sports news diarist was spotted in the hotel foyer…
As you might expect there is little detail I can go into. The time was primarily devoted to broadcast and commercial updates as we reach that point in our three-year commercial term where we start to think about heading out to market with our domestic and international TV rights-packages as well as sponsorship and licensing deals. Fortunately we are going to be doing this off the back of another compelling season of football.
One topic I can report on is around youth development and the adoption of a mandatory games programme for Academy and Reserve football as part of the adoption of the Elite Player Performance Plan. After an informed and intelligent discussion the clubs accept the Executive’s position which will see the Reserve League replaced with a Professinal Development League – primarily under 21s. The rationale behind this is to create a bridge from the Academy to the First Team which will see more and better home-grown players making it. The clubs have been particulary engaged on the development of the EPPP – I think this is because they realise the importance of making sure that a successful Academy structure is at the heart of sustaining the game going forward.
Saturday 31st March
I am on duty, so grab the papers early and type up a full review (around domestic responsibilities) for the Chief Executive, the rest of the Senior Management Team and Press Office.
Match previews and the football generally dominates, as it should do, particularly at this point in the season, with the exception of the sad news about Stylian Petrov’s diagnosis with acute leukaemia. It is always shocking to see these fit, young men affected this way, particularly off the back of Fabrice Muamba’s cardiac arrest. It is heartening to see the picture he Tweeted of himself sitting up in bed and smiling, which also gets good coverage. These types of incidents do show the positive side of the game with acts of kindness and solidarity for both Fabrice and Stan across the league and through-out the football world.
There is no live televised Premier League football for a change, so Sky’s ever excellent Soccer Saturday augmented by Twitter gets me through the afternoon’s matches. Some cracking games and plenty of the drama and upsets that seem to have set the tone for the season. Plaudits for the action on Twitter and some breathless descriptions from Merson, Le Tissier and Thompson means I am particularly looking forward to Match of the Day.
Shortly after full-time I start to get some calls about a coin throwing incident at the QPR v Arsenal match. After checking with the Professional Game Match Officials General Manager – refs chief in English – Mike Riley, I guide that the assistant is uninjured and that the incident will be going in the referee’s report to the FA. It is the governing body that deals with on and off field discipline.
Sunday 1st April
Same drill on the papers, with Manchester City v Sunderland taking the lead in most – the comeback, the nature of the match and what it says about their title hopes seem to be the main themes. But there is plenty of space for the rest of the League too. We are fortunate to have the plurality of media that produces some excellent sports journalism – be it match reports, story-getting or comment.
One April Fool’s story nearly gets past me and makes it the press review. A fine effort by the Star on Sunday about an Arsenal-Spurs ground-share while White Hart Lane is redeveloped – it was the insistence on a giant cockerel outside the Emirates entrance that gave it away…
The phone is pretty quiet, as it tends to be when there is plenty of football on. I settle down to two very decent Premier League matches – top quality football in front of full-houses. Just how it should be.
Next week will be different if nothing else…
FWA Q&A: Guillem Balague
Sky Sports’ Spanish football expert and Espanyol fan Guillem Balague on drinking 120-year-old brandy, a frozen Scottish breakfast and an on-air attempted mugging.
Your first ever newspaper?
It was Diari de Barcelona, a Catalan newspaper. I think it’s the oldest newspaper in Spain.
Have you ever worked in a profession other than journalism?
I used to deliver bread at 4am. I also worked as a barman in a pub in Liverpool.
What was your finest achievement playing football?
I was chosen as the second best goalkeeper in the league I played in as a kid. I was 12 at the time. Perhaps the achievement was slightly tainted as the best goalkeeper was also from our team. Sadly he wasn’t Iker Casillas!
Most memorable match covered?
It has to be the Champions League final in Istanbul when Liverpool beat AC Milan. I wrote a book about it. It was an incredible game to cover as a journalist. For me it was also emotional as I had a lot of friends involved… Rafa Benitez, Luis Garcia, Xabi Alonso and Josemi.
The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
When Iker Casillas lifted the World Cup in 2010. I never thought it would happen after so many years of promising so much but underachieving. I spoke to Peter Shilton recently and he said that in his day Spain were a mentally weak team. Now we are talking about a side on a different level to the rest.
Best stadium?
For noise and atmosphere when I’ve been there, Anfield. The new stadium of Espanyol, my Spanish club – Estadi Cornellà-Prat – is lovely.
…and the worst?
Real Mallorca’s Iberostar has hardly any atmosphere, neither does Real Sociedad’s Anoeta. Both have athletic tracks which kills the atmosphere. No matter how many people are there the noise disappears.
Your best ever scoop?
I broke the story of Cristiano Ronaldo going to Real Madrid. Not sure if this is a scoop but I am proud that Sir Alex Ferguson has agreed to write a foreword for the book on Pep Guardiola I am writing.
Your personal new-tech disaster?
This is loosely connected to new technology… I was in a Soho street doing a live interview for Spanish radio, a show called El Larguero which has 1.3 million listeners. I was chatting to the presenter and the chairman of Real Madrid. I was on the phone referring to notes that were in my computer when two guys tried to snatch my laptop. I ran away from them and was almost out of breath still on air. I didn’t want to explain what was going on.
Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
Gabriele Marcotti. He’s been confused many times with me. It’s being foreigners I guess.
Most media friendly manager?
Many… Sir Alex Ferguson, David Moyes, Rafa Benitez – people don’t know what he is really like – Jose Mourinho… quite a few.
Best ever player?
It has to be Iván de la Peña who played for Espanyol from 2002 to 2011. He was also with Barcelona but played with much more heart for Espanyol.
Best ever teams (club and international)?
At international level what Spain are doing is unbelievable. I’ve seen performances from them which are out of this world. At club level this Barcelona team is different class as much for how they do it as what they are doing… they will be talked about for many years to come.
Best pre-match grub?
Has to be Arsenal, for sure.
Best meal had on your travels?
After Barcelona’s 6-2 victory in El Clásico at the Santiago Bernabeu in May 2009 I went to Asavores in Madrid with an agent friend of mine. We were treated to fantastic meats and fish, ending up with a 120-year-old brandy.
…and the worst?
A frozen breakfast in Glasgow. Yes, frozen. And no, it wasn’t defrosted. It was, I think, a fish with breadcrumbs and it was rock hard. I wondered if it was some kind of Scottish speciality but no, it was frozen.
Favourite football writer?
Gabriele Marcotti, no doubt.
Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Because I work with them most days on Sky Sports’ Spanish football coverage I know how good Rob Palmer, Gerry Armstrong, Kevin Keating and Terry Gibson are. They are so committed and love the job they do. I would also mention Adrian Durham who presents talkSPORT’s Drivetime show. He is very intelligent and I like what he’s doing.
If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
Open training sessions once a week with a mixed zone for the media. The more friendly you become with players the more difficult it can be to criticise them. It would help the press to get to know and understand players more. I did a Soccerex panel with Gary Neville last month and he was speaking along those lines.
One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
The NBA finals.
Last book read?
I read the Spanish version. I think the English title is What The Internet Does To Our Minds by Nicholas Carr. It outlines how the internet is making us more superficial as a race.
Favourite current TV programme?
I am revisiting the Wire closely followed by the Walking Dead.
Your most prized football memorabilia?
I have a seat from the old Wembley which is on a wall in my home. Also a thermos flask which Espanyol gave me.
Twitter username: @guillembalague
My Week: Dan Tolhurst
PICTURE: Dan Tolhurst and Arsène Wenger at a pre-match media conference.
Dan Tolhurst. Communications Manager, Arsenal, on a major decision about CBeebies…problems with a chunky monkey…and a happy boss
I’m proud to say that I’ve been Communications Manager/Press Officer at Arsenal for nearly 14 years. I joined Arsenal just after the Double’season of 1997/98. Since then, a lot has changed in football and at Arsenal, including a new training ground and a new stadium, but thankfully all the while with just one manager.
Monday 19th March
We were all rocked by the events at White Hart Lane on Saturday evening. Fabrice Muamba joined us at Arsenal as a schoolboy and came through the youth ranks under Liam Brady at Hale End and London Colney, before becoming a professional in 2005. A lovely lad and as a press officer, an absolute pleasure to work with. Full respect and credit to everyone at Bolton Wanderers and Tottenham Hotspur – they have been impeccable in their handling of the situation. On Sunday morning, we gave our fans the opportunity to send in their messages of support to Fabrice. We received over 20,000 messages in the first 24 hours. Says a lot to how much the boy means to everyone at Arsenal.
Monday morning started with the usual commute from Kent to Emirates Stadium. The journey in always gives me the chance to take a view of the morning’s newspapers and track that Twitter time line. Got into the office and put a call in to the training ground to arrange messages of support for Fabrice from Arsène Wenger and Liam Brady. Both called back within minutes and quotes posted on our website.
Early flurry of calls from the journalists on the Arsenal beat regarding the media reports in Germany about Lukas Podolski. Cologne media reporting the deal will be announced today, so UK journalists needed to check the facts. No signing, but most of the day spent relaying our position and giving the information out
Tuesday 20th March
Newspapers, online Blogs and Twitter safely navigated with no major Arsenal issues, so I get down to some planning. Pre-season tour plans are already moving. We’ve already confirmed matches in Beijing (against Manchester City on 27th July) and in Hong Kong (against local side Kitchee FC on 29th July), so we spent some time discussing tour events, media access and engaging supporters when we’re out there in the summer.
Following the Fabrice Muamba incident, media debate is focussing on the heart screening of players. We liaised with our medical team, in order to determine our position on heart screening – which is that we give all our players a cardiac screening once a season and our facilities and staff at London Colney and at Emirates Stadium are more than adequate.
OK, so this bit isn’t going to please the FWA members. We’ve got a match tomorrow at Everton, but we haven’t had a press conference. This doesn’t happen often, and is purely down to schedules. However, Arsène gave a brief interview to Arsenal.com, which we distributed to UK newspapers and held back on a 10.30pm embargo.
Also, finalised our stat pack and club information ahead of the match at Everton on Wednesday night. Our stat pack (for those anoraks amongst you) will always consist of Arsenal’s all-time stats and breakdown of player information. We know you guys have Soccerbase and Wikipedia these days, but you can’t always rely on them. For me, it’s such an important part of a press officer’s role – know your facts, make yourself available and be ready at any point to help and assist journalists and broadcasters.
Wednesday 21st March
It’s matchday. After all these years, I still find myself ‘in the zone’ on matchdays, which I know is not a bad thing at all. Today, it’s Goodison Park.
Quick stop at the office before heading up to Liverpool on the train. Usually travel to away matches on the train. With the journey from Euston to Lime Street being direct and just over two hours, it’s fairly straightforward. Together with the Arsenal media team, we jump on the 3.07pm and we’re at Goodison Park in good time before kick-off. On arrival, meet up with my counterparts at Everton to gauge the media presence at the match. It’s fairly quiet from a TV perspective, as they are all in Manchester to cover Man City v Chelsea. However, it will still be busy after the match, with BBC, Sky Sports, radio and written media present in numbers.
Behind the scenes, Everton are a great club to work with. Very friendly and cooperative and the stadium always reminds me a little bit of Highbury. Narrow players’ tunnel and terraces close to the pitch.
The match goes well from an Arsenal point of view, an early goal from Thomas Vermaelen securing a valuable three points. Post-match, Arsène and the players were understandably in good spirits. Vermaelen, Aaron Ramsey and Laurent Koscielny stopped for media interviews, together with AW, who was delighted with his team’s performance.
Thursday 22nd March
The school run and not much sleep was made better after last night’s result. Drop the children at school and nursery. Sounds like I’ve got a coach-load of children, but just the three. For the majority of time, football has no part to play in my home life, which is a good thing. This morning, my major diplomatic decision was to decide which TV channel would be accompanying breakfast – CBeebies or the Disney Channel.
After the school run, get home and digest the morning’s media, which makes good reading the morning after a victory. Get to the office and finalise our activities of support for Fabrice Muamba at Saturday’s home match against Aston Villa. We’ve produced a giant banner for the supporters to show as the teams come out. We’ve also prepared a PA announcement from both clubs to be read before kick-off. A section of Saturday’s Matchday Programme will also be devoted to Fabrice.
Have a good update and review with our Head of Education and Welfare regarding our media training programme for our younger players – now known as Scholars (YTS players to the older readers). We set up a number of sessions each season with our first and second year scholars, using journalists and broadcasters, in order to educate and train the young players, focussing on the role of the media in football and also to engage them in some practical sessions in mock interviews.
Friday 23rd March
Press conference day. Preview for our home match against Aston Villa is 12.30pm today at our training ground. As well as player media interviews, Arsène has his press conference and the usual session with UK newspapers – Friday for Saturday. A relaxed Arsène gives an update on Jack Wilshere’s recovery, telling journalists for Saturday that he’s hopeful Jack will be back playing in around five weeks.
Get back to the stadium and finish off preparing for tomorrow’s match. Press Box is nearly full for the match.
Saturday 24th March
Home matchday. Get to the stadium at about 10am. Check that the media areas are ready for action.
There are about seven of us from the club who work in the media areas on a matchday. We have a team meeting about three hours before kick-off, then we are open for business.
Quite a few journalists arrive early to watch the Chelsea v Spurs match, so our catering staff are ready to roll. However, there is a problem. We are very proud of our ice cream selection available in the media lounge on a matchday, but we have a serious problem. I’m approached by a journalist (who will remain nameless) who asks whether we have any chunky monkey ice creams left. Unfortunately we don’t and my day will now remain unfulfilled. It is a known fact to our regulars that Arsenal’s media facilities go hand-in-hand with the availability of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. The chunky monkey news is a severe blow.
Anyway, back to the serious stuff. The Arsenal and Aston Villa fans join together and show magnificent support for Fabrice Muamba before the match. Also before kick off, we announce that a 29-year-old man has been arrested by the Met Police on suspicion of a Racially Aggravated Public Order offence, following the recent match against Newcastle United. Great that Arsenal and Met Police have acted quickly and strongly on this matter.
On the pitch, we continue our good run of form with a 3-0 win. Goals from Gibbs, Walcott and Arteta. Post-match is enjoyable, with the boss and a number of players talking to the media.
Winning makes the job of a press officer so much easier.
Hope you’ve enjoyed.
The FWA Interview: Oliver Holt
SPORTS WRITING HAS NEVER BEEN SO GOOD says Oliver Holt
By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES
OLIVER HOLT believes the standard of British sports writing is higher than it has ever been.
The Daily Mirror writer recently won the Sports Journalists’ Association Sports Columnist of the Year award which, for once, left Holt almost speechless.
He said: “It really took me by surprise. I looked at the list of candidates – Martin Samuel (Daily Mail), Jim Lawton (Independent), Patrick Collins (Mail on Sunday), Simon Barnes and Mike Atherton (the Times). Every single one was a writer I looked up to. I was genuinely pleased to just be on the list. It was a wonderful feeling to win the award even though you must be aware that they are subjective things.
“I believe British sports journalism is of an incredibly high standard, better than it’s ever been. There are some outstanding writers who don’t even make the shortlist. I think Sam Wallace (Independent) is a brilliant journalist, one of my favourites. The fact that Sam wasn’t among the finalists shows how deep the writing talent runs.
“There are a number of excellent young journalists coming through…Laura Williamson, Sami Mokbel and Alex Kay (all Daily Mail), Ann Gripper at our paper, Rory Smith (the Times) plus Jonathan Liew (Daily Telegraph) who won the Ian Wooldridge trophy for Young Sports Writer.
“It’s a very competitive business and being given the opportunity to be a columnist is not easy, more so now with the industry under pressure. I think those people I’ve mentioned can do it because they are good enough.”
Holt grew up reading the fine prose of the late Donald Saunders who covered football and boxing for the Daily Telegraph for more than three decades.
He said: “When I lived at home my parents bought the Telegraph so I always read Donald Saunders. When I was older I liked Hugh McIlvanney and Jim Lawton. In many ways Jim is still my writing hero.’
Holt cut his journalistic teeth on the Liverpool Echo and Daily Post as a news reporter before joining the Times in 1993 as motor racing correspondent. “Instead of going to Birkenhead to an old people’s home, my first trip for the Times was to South Africa for the South African Grand Prix. Then to Surfers Paradise for Nigel Mansell’s first Indy race. I felt I’d arrived at that point.”
Apart from the more exotic locations and weather the contrast in covering F1 in the 1990’s and English football in 2012 is worlds apart.
Holt said: “In those days F1 was almost like a small family. There were five British drivers when I started – Martin Brundle, Mark Blundell, Johnny Herbert, Damon Hill and Derek Warwick. They were all easy to get on with while journalists such as Stan Piecha (Sun), Bob McKenzie (Daily Express) and Ray Matts (Daily Mail) became mentors of mine. I learned an awful lot from them.”
After a spell as the Times’ chief football writer, in 2000 Holt began covering more sports, attending the Sydney Olympics and was given his first chance as a columnist when he joined the Daily Mirror in 2002.
While a huge fan of football, inevitably his main port of call now, motor racing and tennis (the latter watching and playing), Holt’s favourite sport to cover is boxing. He said: “The intensity of the fight and the bravery of the people who get in the ring make boxing a wonderful sport to report. Also, many boxers tend to be very articulate and courteous. They are fantastic people to talk to.”
The change of style from writing for the Times to the Daily Mirror was helped by Holt’s time in journalism school and his early career on Merseyside where he paid tribute to Bob Burns – “the news editor at the Echo and a first-class journalist.”
Holt said: “I grew up writing tabloid style and though I was a little apprehensive about the switch, the Mirror have always been brilliant with me. I can pretty well write my column how I want to.”
He starts planning his Wednesday page as soon as soon as the previous one has been finalised. He said: “The column is always in my mind so if I see or hear something that could be used I make a note immediately. Ninety per cent of the time I go to the sports desk with ideas of what I’m going to do but I always talk things through with them.”
Holt has never stepped away from controversy which in many ways is the lifeblood of a columnist and has often written positively about sportsmen whose public image is less than popular – “I’m not unique in this respect by any stretch of the imagination.”
Like all top columnists Holt has the ability to make readers reconsider their own views on certain subjects. However, the person who probably had the biggest effect on Holt the journalist remains an icon in his sport.
“I’ve only interviewed Jonny Wilkinson once. I was incredibly impressed by him, I admire everything about him as a player in terms of his dedication and his approach to his sport. His openness was refreshing and he is someone I admire a huge amount.
“I also loved listening to Bernard Hopkins [the American boxer who defended his world middleweight title a record 20 times]. He was a fantastic talker.
“Every sports writer has people they like and I’m no different. In football it’s quite a long list…Steven Gerrard, Jamie Carragher, Gary and Phil Neville, Craig Bellamy, Kieron Dyer, John Terry, Frank Lampard…”
Football writers are inevitably accused of bias – in fact they tend to be more critical of any team they support – but Holt has no particular allegiance to any of the Barclays Premier League big guns.
“I grew up supporting Stockport County. My dad’s from Stockport and we lived five miles away. We used to watch Stockport on a Friday night while on Saturday I went to Manchester United or City. When I was a little older I used to follow Stockport at some away games, plus United and City, too. It was a mix of the three but Stockport were my team.”
It was a good weekend for Stockport who beat Bath City 4-0 on Saturday.
JOY OF PAIN TO LIFT VAUXHALL PHOTOGRAPHY CROWN
The Mail on Sunday’s Mark Pain has been crowned the inaugural Vauxhall Home Nations Football Photographer of the Year for 2011.
His England portfolio enabled him to beat the cream of English, Scottish, Northern Irish and Welsh sports photographers in an eagerly-contested competition.
Pain’s reward is to win the use of a Vauxhall Astra Sports Tourer, SRI Ecoflex, 1.7 CDTI (125ps) car for one year.
He also collects a £500 cheque for winning the English heat. In the final, Pain beat off the challenge of other national winners William Cherry (Northern Ireland), Craig Williamson (Scotland) and Andrew Orchard (Wales).
In the individual best photo category, the winners were:
England (Tom Jenkins, The Guardian/Observer)
Northern Ireland (Darren Kidd, Press Eye)
Scotland (Laurence Griffiths, Getty Images)
Wales (Andy Couldridge, Action Images)
Chris Hornbuckle, Vauxhall Head of Sponsorship, said; “Our intention with these awards is to celebrate and reward the art of football photography.
“We have been truly overwhelmed and stunned by the quality of the entrants and the substantial interest our awards have created within the photography profession.
“Mark Pain was the unanimous choice of our panel to win the top award. His portfolio captured the very essence of international football.
“He delivered an extremely impressive selection and combination of action and portrait imagery which conveyed the excitement, drama and passion of this sport at international level.
“The competition for these awards was extremely fierce and our judging panel felt the overall standard was incredibly high.”
Mark Pain said: “It’s a great honour to be crowned the first Vauxhall Home Nations Football Photographer of the Year.
“I speak on behalf of all sports photographers when I say a big thank you to Vauxhall for introducing this competition and I know that it has stimulated a great deal of interest.”
Vauxhall introduced the new Home Nations Football Photography Awards to celebrate the skill of international football photography.
Vauxhall, proud sponsors of the England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland national football associations, will be unveiling details of the 2012 Awards later this year.
FWA Q&A: Charlie Wyett
The Sun’s Charlie Wyett on making sausages…being Pretty…and appearing in EastEnders (sort of)
Your first ever newspaper?
Wisbech Standard in Cambridgeshire.
Have you ever worked in a profession other than journalism?
No. Joined the profession after completing A levels in 1989. Used to work in my family’s butchers shop as a teenager, spending Saturday mornings making sausages but only ever wanted to be a sports writer.
What was your finest achievement playing football?
Scoring with an excellent 25-yard lob for the Norfolk College of Arts and Technology. Unfortunately, the goalkeeper was my team-mate.
Most memorable match covered?
Have been extremely lucky to cover some cracking games and a recent one which stands out was Arsenal beating Barcelona 2-1 at home last season.
The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
Michael Thomas scoring at Liverpool in the final minute to clinch the title for Arsenal in 1989. Despite being a neutral, remember jumping off my sofa in delight.
Best stadium?
I have a soft spot for Villa Park but my favourite ground is San Siro in Milan.
…and the worst?
A few dodgy ones in the Eastern Counties League and also Southern League. Also, the Dell at Southampton and Colchester’s Layer Road were not great. As a supporter, the away end at Millmoor (Rotherham) was particularly unpleasant. A total dump, in fact.
Your best ever scoop?
Still looking for that one.
Your personal new-tech disaster?
Accidentally spell-checking my surname on a match report. Just as my report was heading towards the News International system, I noticed that it read: From Charlie Pretty at Carrow Road. Bit of a contradiction! Thankfully, I stopped it from reaching our sport queue by pulling out all the wires from my laptop.
Biggest mistake?
Have made one or two. . .
Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
For some bizarre reason, it does sometimes happen. Am getting John Bishop at the moment. Also Howard Donald from Take That and the actor Willem Dafoe (drunk blokes have pointed at me and shouted Green Goblin). Also Frank Spencer. My Sun colleague Andy Dillon says I look like Dean Gaffney from EastEnders – and he is certainly not being complimentary.
Most media friendly manager?
Harry Redknapp, David Moyes and Alan Pardew are all good. Arsene Wenger used to be. . .
Best ever player?
Thierry Henry in the Barclays Premier League – Lionel Messi is now up there with Maradona on the world stage.
Best ever teams (club and international)?
Brazil team in 1982 World Cup were amazing. Barcelona side of the last few seasons is the best club team.
Best pre-match grub?
Chelsea is excellent. As for a restaurant for fans, Delia’s at Norwich is not bad – as you would expect.
Best meal had on your travels?
Ristorante Europa 92 in Modena. Near Ferrari’s Maranello base, it is northern Italian food at its very best. And not that expensive.
…and the worst?
‘Beef bowl’ at Tokyo airport. Truly shocking. And I am not sure it was beef I was actually eating.
Best hotel stayed in?
Always loved staying at the Hotel Elysee when covering the U.S Open in New York. Would recommend it to anyone looking for a hotel in Manhattan.
…and the worst?
A disgusting one-star guest house in Hong Kong. The nearest restaurant was a McDonald’s but the menu was obviously not in English. I pointed at the board and after getting a funny look from the server, I was handed my food. A Happy Meal with a soft toy.
Favourite football writer?
I know it’s a cop-out but have a few.
Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Clive Tyldesley.
If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
A closer working relationship between journalists and players.
One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
Olympics men’s 1500m final
Last book read?
The Rum Diary
Favourite current TV programme?
Homeland on Channel 4
Your most prized football memorabilia?
Always give stuff away.
Advice to any would-be football writer?
Work hard and don’t expect to be covering Barclays Premier League games within two years.
My Week: John Ley
THE DAILY TELEGRAPH’S JOHN LEY on stats…Stinking Bishop…and speaking at the House of Commons
Monday, March 12
Wake up with a start. It’s going to be a busy old week and I don’t feel if I’m as prepared as I should be. The last 10 months have been strange; since switching from my role as a football writer on The Daily Telegraph after 24 years, I am still adapting to life as ‘Production Editor’ – that’s a sub in real money – and it still feels strange, knowing that I don’t start work until 4pm.
It would be nice to think I could have a lie-in, but my daughter leaves for college at 9am and if I don’t get up, even for just 20 minutes for a cup of tea and a chat, I won’t see her again that day. Katie, my daughter, is 18 and has Down’s syndrome and diabetes. She is also very special and is doing well at Harlow College, where she attends a special needs class. Her taxi arrives and, within a nano-second the dog has one of my walking boots in her mouth, throwing it into the air with like a canine juggler. Set off with the dog, Bella, and my wife (she’s called Linda to avoid confusion) along the River Lee, throw a ball for the dog a few times then return via the paper shop. Need the papers to update my stats books. Buy my paper and the Sun – they are good on stats which I like to nick – then return for coffee at home.
Normally my Monday routine is simple; spend a couple of hours getting my stats books up to date and start preparing the weekend’s previews for the paper and Telegraph Sport’s website. But I have other pressing matters to attend to.
A month ago I received a call out of the blue from the Royal Statistical Society, asking if I would give a short talk at – wait for it – the House of Commons. I know, I know. I thought she’d got the wrong number as well. But as the lady, Debra Hurcomb, explained, the RSS is a charity leading a campaign called getstats. It’s focused on building confidence with numbers, data and statistics and is currently attempting to focus on “strengthening the understanding, know-how and confidence of groups of people who influence the public such as parliamentarians and their staff.”
They want me to speak at Portcullis House, where MPs have their offices. I’m on tomorrow and haven’t prepared a word. Panic time. I devote my morning to thinking about what I am going to say. The stats can wait.
After a bit of work on some ideas, I change and leave for the office. We’re in Victoria, very handy as my main-line train goes to Tottenham Hale on the Victoria Line. I walk across the concourse and realise it’s happened; a train has just arrived from the south coast and around 200 people, all heading for the underground, are sprinting towards me. This is like swimming against a human, maniacal tide. I’ve worked out a tactic, of sorts; head for the wall, past the Wasabi noodle bar and Mexican food outlet. Then creep past the 24 hour drop-in medical centre – I may need you soon – and, with a bit of luck I’ll make it to the Telegraph without having my knee-caps taken out.
Resist temptation to pop in to the International Cheese Centre and buy my favourite Stinking Bishop. I love it, but the underground doesn’t and last time I bought some the entire carriage was looking accusingly at probable farters with halitosis and BO.
My first job is to sub a lovely piece by Jeff Randall, well known on Sky but also a Telegraph man who has written about what the Cheltenham Festival means to him. This time he has a part-share in a horse – “my share is half a nostril” – and I enjoy subbing it. Sub Henry Winter on David Moyes, and Alan Smith’s predications on the title race. He reckons United will beat City to the title by one point.
All stories also have to go online, but you have to be careful to adhere to embargoes. When journalists get stories they often agree that they must go only in the paper, or at least appear online no earlier than 11pm.
News that one of our bright young things, Jonathan Liew, has won Young Sports Writer of the Year filters through while sports news man Paul Kelso has scooped the Sports News Reporter of the Year. Great for the paper, but when these awards come around I always think there should be a category for Stats Man of the Year….
Delight in seeing Arsenal come from behind for the fourth time in succession. Note that former Telegraph colleague and fellow FWA Committee Member Chris Davies has tweeted that it’s a Barclays Premier League record. Tell the desk, take a short break then return to sub the quotes piece from the Emirates. Get away about 20 minutes after midnight, get home an hour later and make my bed around 2.45am, worrying about tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 13
I’m off today, so I can concentrate on the talk. It’s only for 10-15 minutes but it’s surprising how much one can say in such a short space of time. Let Linda walk the dog while I concentrate on putting some thoughts down. Spend a couple more hours on it, then try it out on myself. It lasts about 12 minutes, which is spot on. I decide to walk away from it for an hour.
Also waiting for a man to repair our oven. Got the old ‘between 12 and four’ promise, so any hopes of leaving the house wrecked. I told them it was the fan; he turns up, says it’s the fan – and he doesn’t have the part. Reckons he did have one – but used it on an earlier repair. So we’ll be a third week without the main oven. Ring insurers and make official complaint.
Get dressed and head off to Westminster. I had been warned to expect a wait, but I am amazed to see the queues of people trying to get in to Portcullis House. So while I’m waiting I consider the size of the place. Did you know it cost £235 million, the world’s most expensive office block?
After 20 minutes, I have a face scan, go through an X-Ray machine and have my bag searched. I put on a security tag and find the Macmillan room, home to the seminar. As I walk around the first floor veranda, I look down on MPs talking in plush coffee shops. On the walls are some terrific paintings of great figures. The one that draws me is a marvellous image of Tony Benn. Not my politics, but I’m a great admirer of him as a man, and the painting does him proud.
On arrival, I’m offered a quick tour and shown the room, next door where the Murdoch Enquiry took place last year. I’m also told there’s a row going on about the £150,000 paid for some decorative fig trees which dominate the inside of the building. Good to see my taxes being used wisely.
Back to the room and I meet Rob Mastrodomenico who, despite the name, is a lad from Swindon with a wonderful Wiltshire burr. “I’m part of Paolo’s red and white army.” Rob’s more than that; after studying at Reading Uni, where he received a BSc in Maths and Statistics, followed by an MSc and PhD in Statistics, he joined a company that produces sports stats and data. Then he set up his own company, Global Sports Statistics, and is doing well.
I meet a few people from RSS and then I am introduced to a charming man, Lord David Lipsey, a former chairman of the Fabian Society and journalist. He is also the chairman of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on Statistics and announces me as ‘StatManJon’, my Twitter name.
It’s the first day of Cheltenham so he warns that he intends to invoke a little-known Commons by-law that anybody mentioning any results will be marched to the Tower and hanged.
Start the talk my saying how brave they are to invite a Daily Telegraph journalist to Westminster and proceed to explain why I think stats are important, how they once won me four flights to Australia and how I was responsible for earning charity £10,000 by telling the Barclays Premier League they were close to the 10,000th goal. Their sponsors, Barclays, responded by giving ten grand to the scorer’s chosen charity; Les Ferdinand scored the goal, for Spurs, and two cancer charities benefitted.
I finish by telling them I will be putting in expenses. Seems to go OK. Rob is next, and far more detailed with a slide show to put over his points about betting. Lord Lipsey had to leave half way through my talk, to vote on the health and social care bill, but did return – and offered an interesting tip on how to win at greyhound racing. I’m keeping that one to myself. Around 40-50 were there and, afterwards engaged myself, Rob and David Walker, a director of the getstats campaign, in a Q&A. Enjoyed that bit.
Afterwards we mingle and enjoy very nice hospitality courtesy the House of Commons with their own wine and marvellous canapés, interrupted only by the occasional sounding of the Division bell.
Rob and I find a pub showing the second half of Liverpool v Everton.
Wednesday, March 14
Receive a nice email from Debra, describing my talk as ‘excellent’….and a form for expenses! Do a few stats, send some emails to prospective FWA members as part of my role as FWA Membership Secretary, then start looking into some stats on behalf of the League Managers Association, who I also help out.
I also do a little bit of research ahead of another talk; tomorrow I am going to Harlow College to give a speech to some wannabe journalists.
Set off for work and at Victoria I’m confronted by dozens of policeman, awaiting the arrival of the Gatwick Express and Napoli fans ahead of the Chelsea game. One copper is bigger than a house, at least 7ft, with size 20 feet and carrying a machine gun. I bet he’s good at his job. Decide buying Stinking Bishop to avoid antagonising PC Goliath.
Note that Randall’s horse, Vendor, comes in third at Cheltenham.
Sub several bits, including an Olympics story, another on boxing and a delightful piece by Oliver Brown, on Rory McIlroy. Later, Chelsea stage a remarkable fight back against Napoli and I am given a piece about the five things we learned at Stamford Bridge.
Thursday, March 15
Although I didn’t get to bed until 2.30am, I am up at eight. In the shower I listen to 5 live and hear an old buddy Ian McGarry talk about Chelsea. Makes me realise I still miss the old gang, that body of reprobates known as football writers.
I have to be at Harlow College by 10am to address 12 youngsters, between the ages of 19 and 23, on journalism generally and subbing in particular. An old mate, Neil Silver, runs the course and it’s the second time I’ve been there. People like Piers Morgan, who attended the NCTJ (National Council for the Training of Journalists) course with Neil, Richard Madeley and Jeremy Clarkson took the diploma.
Neil is vastly experienced from his days at PA, The People, Express and Sunday Mirror amongst others, and has successfully reinvented himself as a lecturer. I speak about the importance of embracing digital media, and the response is good, as it was before. Myself and Neil share stories of having to use typewriters, of having to put ‘blacks’ – carbon paper – between sheets so we had multiple copies of our copy. We trigger the type of look directed at Klaatu in The Day The Earth Stood Still as he emerged from his space ship.
After that shock, a couple of lads ask for a contact number so they can speak to me in the future.
The College, part of Anglia Ruskin University, has a nice feel to it. The facilities are outstanding, and you have the impression these youngsters are receiving the best training possible. After all, the NCTJ course at Harlow is the oldest of its kind in the country. Will happily return to speak to the next batch.
Go home via a florists to order Mother’s Day flowers for my mum, now 80 and going strong, then grab half an hour’s kip before going back to work. The smell of the cheese is almost luring me, but I resist again.
Lots to sub, but do get half an hour to continue preparing my stats for the Saturday paper and online. Sub the Man City report, from the ultimately failed attempt to move on in the Europa League, among other stories.
Go back, sub some more then leave. Arrive home at 1.15am and to bed at 2am (impossible to go straight to sleep, mind won’t switch off).
Friday, March 16
I am up at 8am because I have to go in early to write the team-news and stats page. Do a few Tweets on some stats about the weekend’s games. I’m chasing 12,000 followers.
On the way, I wonder what the average time is between stations. I know it’s 22 minutes between Tottenham Hale and Victoria, and count nine stops so – and this is why my life can be so, so sad – I work out that, on average, it’s two minutes, 27 seconds a stop.
The cheese can wait; stats to do. But horrified that the canteen has run out of sausages, my traditional Friday morning breakfast. Go for Plan B – bacon – and set to work on the stats.
I have to work out probable line-ups with shirt numbers, list injuries and players awaiting tests, the refs and their season’s figures, kick-off times, betting odds, TV times and a stat for each game. I also arrange for the guys covering the games to write 75 words with a prediction.
All this is set up for the paper and is also posted online and I get the chance to add a photo as well. I also have to plan ahead to next midweek; the website wants previews of the Tuesday and Wednesday games.
My favourite stat of the weekend is the one about Man Utd, who need four wins from their last five away games for 14 away victories, an all-time club record.
With subbing numbers down, I agree to do a bit of subbing too, and get away about seven and to a roast dinner – a rarity when you work lates.
Saturday, March 17
Take daughter to buy a Mother’s Day present, start writing this diary, then leave for work. On Saturdays I tend to start at 2.30pm as The Sunday Telegraph deadline is earlier.
Give in to temptation and visit Cheese centre. No Stinking Bishop in sight. One could suggest it’s divine intervention.
Sub the match report from Wigan, along with other pieces including 1,000 words from Henry W. He really is prolific. All is going well on the desk until news comes in that Bolton’s Fabrice Muamba has collapsed at WHL. My brother calls me to check I’ve heard, and it’s a horrible feeling.
The pages are redrawn to accommodate the shock news. I was down to do the match report, but instead it’s changed into a news story. Jon Liew has written it and reacted quickly to events. He comes in on his way home and looks visibly shaken by what he has witnessed. The press box at Spurs is just behind the visitor’s dug out and adjacent to the tunnel, so as the drama unfolded, the journo’s would have been on top of it.
Big stories like this, however sad they maybe, produce a buzz in newspaper offices. You have to react, and be considerate as well. Important no stories have defeats described as disasters. This is real life, not a game.
As I leave, I walk past England and Irish rugby fans at Victoria, and arrive home about 10.45, with traditional Saturday night doner kebab in hand. Watch the news for updates on Muamba and notice he’s in the same hospital that saved my dad’s life around 17 years ago.
I Tweet that fact – and the fact that, at 87, he’s still going strong – and it is retweeted quite a lot.
Try to write a bit more of this diary but it’s 1.25am, I’m too tired to write any more. Go to bed.
Sunday, March 18
Wake up around eight. Muamba is still fighting.
Ask my daughter to make breakfast for mum as it is Mother’s Day and then we all go for a lovely walk with the dog, along the old Ermine Street Roman road, and into Hoddesdon Park Wood.
Back home we have lunch then leave for work. I should have been off this weekend, but a colleague has been invited to a two-day ‘stag’ weekend, so I’m covering.
Decide to drive half way. Big mistake. There’s been an accident in Cheshunt and a drive that should take me 25 minutes, takes nearly an hour. At Tottenham Hale I find the car park full. Going from bad to worse. Drive to Blackhorse Road, take tube in and arrive 10 minutes late.
Lots to sub, including match reports from Fulham, where Swansea were rampant, Newcastle, who weren’t but still beat Norwich to stay sixth, and Chelsea, with Torres realising that he can score. In addition, there’s a rugby piece on Ben Youngs, but, later on I have two pieces on Muamba, including an emotional plea from his fiancée to keep praying for Fabrice.
I am given four pages to proof read, and leave about 10.45. It’s been a long week. As I leave I’m passed by Liverpool fans on their way back from beating Stoke at Anfield. Get off the train at Tottenham Hale….and as it leaves, remember I’m parked at Blackhorse Road. D’oh.
Driving home and it’s 11.40pm and, outside the Roman Urn pub in Cheshunt, my eyes are drawn to a dwarf wearing an Iron Maiden T shirt and a hat in the shape of a pint of the Black Stuff. He is swaggering ever so slightly, but with a smile the width of the Liffey. A bizarre end to a bizarre week.
Phil Shaw Chooses His Top 20 Quotes From the 20 Years of the Barclays Premier League.
“If Bergkamp thinks he’s gonna set the world alight he can forget it.” (Sorry Lord Sugar – you’re fired)
1. Interviewer: What would you be if you weren’t a footballer? Crouch: A virgin.
England striker PETER CROUCH reveals what Ruud Gullit meant by ‘sexy football’.
2. For Tony Adams to admit he’s an alcoholic took an awful lot of bottle.
Arsenal colleague IAN WRIGHT passes the audition for the BBC pundits’ panel.
3. I write like a two-year-old and I can’t spell. I can’t work a computer. I don’t even know what an email is. I’ve never sent a fax or a text message. I’m the most disorganised person in the world. I can’t even fill in the team-sheet.
In the High Court HARRY REDKNAPP rehearses his application for the England job.
4. I just yelled: ‘Off you go Cantona, it’s an early shower for you’.
Crystal Palace fan MATTHEW SIMMONS on the innocent exhortation that provoked Eric Cantona’s ‘kung-fu’ attack on him.
5. If a footballer presents himself as a family man then goes and has sex with a prostitute, should he gag her?
5Live’s NICKY CAMPBELL brings a whole new meaning to gagging order.
6. It’s a huge honour to wear No 7 at Liverpool. I think about the legends: Dalglish, Keegan and that Australian guy.
Uruguay striker LUIS SUAREZ, upholder of Anfield’s great traditions.
7. Vinnie [Jones] admits he threw a piece of toast at Gary Lineker. What he didn’t say was that it was still in the toaster.
The late TONY BANKS MP, Chelsea born, bread and buttered.
8. I was with David the fateful night he first saw the Spice Girls on telly and said: ‘See that girl who can’t dance or sing? I’m going to marry her’.
Beckham’s best man GARY NEVILLE on how two became one.
9. Carra doesn’t like me to fist him before games, so I give him a high-five instead.
Liverpool’s Spanish keeper PEPE REINA fumbles his idioms on Soccer AM.
10. I am not out of a bottle. I am a special one.
New Chelsea manager JOSE MOURINHO launches a thousand headlines.
11. We threw everything at them — the kitchen sink, golf clubs, emptied the garage. It wasn’t enough but at least my garage is tidy now.
The Bristolian burr of IAN HOLLOWAY, where logic and loopiness collide.
12. I think the fact that Alex Ferguson rested Howard Webb had a lot to do with the result.
After ‘the 6-1’, NOEL GALLAGHER savours definitely maybe the modern-day Man City’s greatest day.
13. If Bergkamp thinks he’s gonna set the world alight he can forget it. When the fog, ice and cold arrive, he won’t want to know.
Double Dutch by Spurs chairman ALAN SUGAR on Arsenal’s new foreign wastrel.
14. I’d only look as fast as Ryan Giggs if you stuck me in the 1958 FA Cup final.
Manchester City winger RICK HOLDEN hoping 1993’s new kid on the block will soon burn out.
15. If people come to your window and talk to your wife every night, you can’t accept it without asking what’s happening.
Arsenal manager ARSENE WENGER waxes philosophical on Chelsea’s courting of Ashley Cole, 2005.
16. I left out a couple of my foreigners the other week and they started talking foreign. I knew they were saying: ‘Blah, blah, blah, le bastard manager, f****** useless bastard’.
He can’t write, text or email but HARRY REDKNAPP understands ‘foreign’ at Portsmouth.
17. I call it squeaky-bum time.
The title race tightens and SIR ALEX FERGUSON books his place for posterity in the Oxford English Dictionary.
18. Alan Shearer is boring. We call him Mary Poppins.
Secretly taped Newcastle director FREDDY SHEPHERD anticipates public opinion by a decade.
19. A lovely chip by Van Nistelrooy. That was what I would call a dinky-do.
Venerable summariser JIMMY ARMFIELD shows the technical expertise that comes from having played the game.
20. What I said to them at half-time would be unprintable on radio.
Mullet loyalist GERRY FRANCIS redefines the term ‘mixed media’.
Two collections of football wit and wisdom compiled by Phil Shaw are currently available: The Book of Football Quotations and Tell Him He’s Pele…And Get Him Back On: The Funniest Football Quotes Ever (both published by Ebury Press).
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