Author Archives: FWA News Editor

FWA Q&A: Colin Malam

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COLIN MALAM on earphones and lap-tops…missing the kick-off at Wembley…and a brilliant Killing

Your first ever job in journalism?
I was a graduate trainee on the Liverpool Daily Post and Echo for three years. Then they declined to renew my contract and advised me to look for another occupation. So not the most auspicious of starts, as you might say.

Have you worked in a profession other than journalism?
Sort of. I was PRO for Westward Television in Plymouth for a short time; then, for an even shorter time, GEC in Coventry.

Most memorable match?
It has to be Liverpool’s extraordinary victory over AC Milan in the 2005 final of the Champions League.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
It’s already there, I think. It was when Pele mesmerised an advancing goalkeeper in the finals of the 1970 World Cup by going one side of him and allowing a pass to go the other.

Best stadium?
Tempted to say the Azteca in Mexico City or the River Plate in Buenos Aires, but nothing beats Anfield on a European night.

… and the worst?
Derby’s Baseball Ground used to be pretty bad, but it has to be Wimbledon’s old weatherbeaten home, Plough Lane.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
Where to start? I’ll bet the younger members of the profession cannot believe that, when abroad, we used to have to connect our laptops to a telephone receiver with a set of earphones to send copy. Needless to say, it didn’t always work.

Biggest mistake?
Travelling to London from Birmingham with Peter Batt and Bob Driscoll on the day I had finally persuaded the Birmingham Post to let me, then their new football correspondent, cover an England match at Wembley. Unfortunately, Peter and Bob were not working that day for their respective papers, the People and the old Sun. So we all repaired to their London local, the Cross Keys, and proceeded to have a high old time. Well they did, while I fretted about getting to Wembley. To cut a very long story short, I missed the kick-off and ended up running the last mile to the twin towers. Fortunately, Dennis Shaw, my oppo on the Birmingham Evening Mail, brought me up to speed once I collapsed into the press box, which was built into the roof at that time.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
No, can’t say I have. But I do recall failing to persuade a foreign football writer during the 1978 World Cup finals in Argentina that my companion, Denis Law, really was the great Denis Law.

Most media-friendly manager?
Terry Venables. Could be because I also collaborated with him on a book, of course. But Alan Ashman (who won the FA Cup with West Brom in 1968), Noel Cantwell, Ron Atkinson, Ron Greenwood and Arsene Wenger deserve an honourable mention.

Best ever player?
Lionel Messi takes some beating. Pele and Maradona were the greatest I saw before little Leo came along to challenge them.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
My favourite club side remains Bill Shankly’s first at Liverpool. It read: Lawrence; Lawler, Yeats, Smith, Byrne; Callaghan, Milne, Stevenson, Thompson; St John, Hunt … and performed miracles in the 60s and beyond. Internationally, it’s no contest. Brazil in 1970.

Best pre-match grub?
Again, no contest. Arsenal at the Emirates.

Best meal had on your travels?
A mountainous steak at a Buenos Aires steak house in 1978.

… and the worst?
A totally disastrous repast in Beijing during England’s short Asian tour before the finals of Euro 96. The restaurant was called the Peking Duck and served nothing edible. Four of us made our excuses and got some fast food across the road.

Best hotel stayed in?
The Broadmoor in Colorado Springs, where England stayed for altitude training before the finals of the 1986 World Cup in Mexico, was truly breathtaking.

Favourite football writer?
Hugh McIlvanney. His penetrating writing inspired me to become a journalist.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Two talented men from yesteryear. Peter Jones on radio, and Brian Moore on TV.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers, what would it be?
Make players and managers more easily available for interview. There is nothing worse for a Sunday football writer than waiting all week to hear whether his or her request has been granted.

One sporting event outside football you would like to experience?
An England v Australia test match in an Ashes series.

Last book read?
Charles Dickens, A Life by Claire Tomalin

Favourite current TV programme?
The Killing (Scandinavian version), if that counts as current.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
The England shirt signed by Sven-Goran Eriksson that was presented to me by the FA on my retirement in 2003.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Stay away from newspapers. Go into radio or TV: they have a much better future.

Colin Malam covers football for the Sunday Mirror

My Week: Ian Dennis

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IAN DENNIS, senior football reporter for BBC Radio 5 Live, on purple paisley pyjamas…a race against time in Oxford…and snoring football writers

Monday May 21
A feeling of relief that the England media trip to Spain was cancelled. The prospect of another flight 24 hours after getting back from Munich was not one to relish. So it was off to Salford for a meeting with the head of radio sport and get my equipment repaired ready for the Euros.

Tuesday May 22
A day of housekeeping but not the household duties, of the work variety. Last week had been so frenzied i hadnt updated my stats for the final set of Barclays Premier League matches. On transfer deadline day Dan Walker affectionately mocked my shabby A4 notebook by calling it ” the book of destiny”, well this is the book of data! It lists every Premier League player with appearances and goals and I carry the current campaign and the book from the previous season too. Don’t worry, I wasn’t wearing purple paisley pyjamas but it’s good to carry round in case I need to check anything quickly.

I start my prep for the England squad for Euro 2012 before I get the call telling me I have ten minutes to react to Didier Drogba leaving Chelsea on Radio 5.
Finish off with match notes ahead of the trip to Norway.

Wednesday May 23
Day off and watch my son in a school cricket tournament. Literally feel the heat from the sunshine but it’s the next 24 hours where I’m nearly stumped.

Thursday May 24
If you are still awake at this point and thinking “what a life” then today is where the fun and games start. The day should have been to leave home at 8, watch England training at 10.30, interview players, react on radio then drive to Heathrow for early flight the next day. What actually happened was a scene with a combination of the wacky races and Challenge Anneka. I would be the swarthy one from the Ant Hill Mob but I don’t do pink jumpsuits.

After filing our interviews back, the request came in that I was required “live” at the start of 5 live sport at 7pm. The problem being that I was leaving Manchester at half past three and the sat-nav said our ETA was 1845. Our destination was BBC Oxford because a studio had been booked to do the “live hit” and then proceed to London.

The back-up plan was my producer, Alastair Yeomans, had a piece of equipment to broadcast remotely if we failed to make it. So off we set in different cars but we became detached and took different routes to avoid two sets of traffic congestion. As the clock ticked down there were frantic telephone conversations between the studio, Alastair and myself – yes, we pulled over to talk – as I drove the backwaters of Warwickshire.The ETA now said 18.54 but the studio insisted we should still aim for Oxford. It was a hot sticky afternoon and the pressure was on. Had there been a race then the honours would have gone to Alastair because he was holding the door open as I pulled into the car park at 18.56. Dash to the studio and on air within minutes but it was very tight.

Friday May 25
I have often been told I have a face for radio and today i could not argue. Frazzled from the night before, a 5am start was hardly conducive for looking bright eyed and bushy tailed. Mind you I wasn’t alone judging by the faces of some of the press pack who were also travelling to Oslo for the Norway friendly.

There is a good camaraderie among the media and 75 of us were scattered throughout the scheduled flight to Norway. Some snoozed, others snored … a taster for life on the road and in the air for the forthcoming trip to Poland and Ukraine.

I did both and in a semi conscious state was aware of the plane suddenly aborting its landing. The pilot calmly described the situation as as “go around” because there was a plane on the runway and he also had spotted a light aircraft. My eyes remained closed and it was off to the hotel before Roy Hodgson’s press conference.

I have been impressed with the new England manager and the way Roy Hodgson has conducted himself has been quite refreshing at the end of an exhausting two days.

Collina warns of zero tolerance at Euro 2012

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By CHRISTOPHER DAVIES

Pierluigi Collina has warned that referees have been instructed to adopt a zero tolerance attitude at Euro 2012.

Internationals of England, the Republic of Ireland and other finalists who play in the Barclays Premier League are used to a more lenient style of refereeing where too often bad tackles go unpunished but in Poland and Ukraine they can expect domestic-type challenges which endanger the safety of an opponent to be punished by a red card.

Collina, a member of the UEFA Referees Committee and, since 2010, the head of refereeing for the Football Federation of Ukraine, also warned that there can be no surrounding of a match official at the forthcoming European Championship.

He said: “One of our main objectives is to protect players and we have reminded them [referees] to resolve actions that may jeopardise the safety of an opponent. UEFA also does not want to see a referee surrounded by players who are protesting.

“This does not give a good image and [protesting players can] expect yellow cards. We do not want to see 20 players in a massive confrontation and the initiators will be shown yellow cards.”

The 31 games at the finals will each be handled by a referee (Howard Webb is England’s representative among the 12 specialist referees), two assistants (Michael Mullarky and Peter Kirkup) plus two additional assistant referees (Martin Atkinson and Mark Clattenburg) who will focus on penalty area incidents.

A representative of the UEFA Referees Committee will visit each of the 16 finalists before the tournament starts to ensure national coaches know what to expect and can pass the guidelines on to players. Collina said: “The instructions given to match officials will be exactly the same to make it easier for players and coaches. We would like the referees, coaches and players to speak the same language in terms of football and interpretation of law.”

He said the referees, selected in December, were chosen for their performances in major UEFA competitions over the past two years plus their experience.

The Italian, who refereed the 2002 World Cup final, said: “Euro 2012 is the most important competition for UEFA. We have to have all our officials prepared to have the best possible performance during competition. Athletes need not only top referees. Being fit is important and we are watching this very closely.”

A seminar in Warsaw comprised 16 hours of lectures on different subjects for the match officials who have what Collina called “a crucial role because their decisions can affect the outcome of the match.”

He added: “Referees are accustomed to handling big games in their countries. They are also prepared to face any pressure in the Champions League, the Europa League and World Cup. They are here because they deserve to be here and UEFA is sure that they will do a great job.”

My Week: Scott Field

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Scott Field, head of media relations at the Football Association, on Hodgson’s choice…a new whistle…and why we should hear more of Lineker…

Monday May 14
The beauty of working in The FA’s media team is always the sheer variety of subjects we have to cover, and my start to the week is no different. Whilst everyone else begins the week still savouring the greatest end to a Barclays Premier League season there has ever been, my start is dominated by the other side of the game – mainly dealing with the disciplinary fall-out from the weekend that was. After scouring the 125 pages of newspaper cuttings – all featuring The FA or the England team – on the train, it’s an 8am start at my desk and a brief flurry of calls. Following up the nationals’ lead stories on Joey Barton’s potential suspension, the broadcasters are first to call to clarify the situation. Disciplinary matters are always very tricky for us as we have to make sure we are not prejudging any outcome, but at the same time we have to help guide the correspondents through the various hypothetical scenarios that they put to us.

Tuesday May 15
Preparations for the European Championship are in full flow in the office, but with the Olympics getting ever closer there are also plans to be put in place for our participation in the football event. Two of us from the FA media team will be seconded onto Team GB media duty, which means the morning is spent ensuring my laptop gets an IT health check, to enable me to work remotely during the Games. That’s followed by a suit fitting for the European Championship and a brand-new whistle from M&S, which can’t be bad, can it? Another major event on the horizon is the opening of the national football centre, or St. George’s Park as it is known. I usually spend at least one day a week on site at Burton, but not this week. Instead it’s a series of meetings at Wembley ensuring we’re keeping a good communications flow locally and nationally.

Finally, a quick dash into central London to meet our colleagues at the Football Foundation. The Foundation does some sterling work, renovating and upgrading some of the country’s most dilapidated grassroots facilities, so it’s always a pleasure to meet up with my counterparts to talk about their good news stories. Oh, and we all pick our England squads over a pint, which causes some lively debate.

Wednesday May 16
Roy Hodgson has chosen to name his England squad today, which means it’s one of the busiest days of the year in our office. My colleague Mark Whittle is handling Roy’s press conference, as Head of Media Relations for England, so it’s a watching brief for the rest of us as we huddle around the bank of four TVs we have in the centre of the office. Roy comes across well and handles the line of questioning with great skill. It always amazes me how little actually gets asked about football, just the news of football instead. After some three hours of media and supporter activity Mark and the excellent FA media operations team troop back up to the office, a little weary, to news of Kenny Dalglish’s departure from Anfield. As often happens, an already busy news day turns into an incredibly busy one. We finish the day with some of the writers who will shape the England stories of tomorrow, as we join Shaun Custis, Henry Winter, Andy Dunn, Paul McCarthy and Matt Lawton amongst others at the FWA Live event in town. Our Managing Director of Club England, Adrian Bevington, puts up a good argument on the panel in an animated session, which also features some fascinating insights from Gary Lineker – which makes me think Match of the Day would be well served by letting Lineker have more of an opinion on a Saturday night.

Thursday May 17
The newspapers are, on the whole, very supportive of Roy’s squad picks, which makes for good reading on the way into Wembley. I’m very privileged to have worked at some fine clubs like Watford and my first love West Bromwich Albion, but to be greeted by the imposing Wembley arch every morning is something quite special. I always enjoy spending time with some of our finest sports writers and so it’s with some enthusiasm that I go to my first meeting of the morning, with the excellent Patrick Barclay. There are a small number of topics on the agenda, not least Paddy’s enthusiasm for Roy Hodgson’s appointment. As a Throstles season ticket holder it doesn’t take long for me and Paddy to find common ground on the benefits of Roy’s teams. The rest of the day is spent preparing announcements around the England Under-21s, St. George’s Park and our upcoming CSR work in Poland.

Friday May 18
With everyone in the football world turning their attentions to the Champions League Final in Munich, it’s a chance to take stock and press on with a few day-to-day tasks. You can tell all of the writers are in Munich as the phones are quiet – a rare respite. This gives me chance to put into place a few plans for what will be one of the most important votes in grassroots football for a generation. On May 28, the FA shareholders (counties, leagues etc) will vote to introduce small-sided football for age groups up to Under-12s, meaning also that 11 year old goalkeepers will no longer have to defend the same size goal as Joe Hart. We need to secure 75% of the vote, so some positive coverage will go a long way for us. Thankfully we’ve had some great support from proponents of the common sense move, like Martin Samuel, Henry Winter and Pete Lansley. Wembley Stadium is hosting the play-offs this weekend, and at least one member of the FA press office will be on duty at each event. I’ve got this weekend off, but I’m down for the League One play-off final between Sheffield United and Huddersfield, but that though, is one for next week…

FWA Q&A: David Walker

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David Walker (Sports Editor, Sunday Mirror) on Blackburn’s freezing punch-up…fun with low-litre on a flight…and Brian Moore v Charlie Sale

Your first ever job in journalism?
Working in Manchester for D.C. Thomson, the publishers of the Weekly News, Sunday Post – as well as Beano and Dandy.

Have you ever worked in a profession other than journalism?
Yes. I spent five years in football as a director at Leeds United and Barnsley.

Most memorable match?
Liverpool beating St Etienne in the European Cup quater-final in 1977 at Anfield. Dominique Bathenay scored a left-footed screamer into the top corner at the Kemlyn Road end. You can find it on Youtube. It’s worth a visit.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
Can I have two? Mark Viduka scoring all four goals for Leeds in a fight-back and 4-3 win over Liverpool at Elland Road in 2000. When Vidukes put his mind to it he could be an unstoppable opponent. Elland Road was rocking. It was a great game. Secondly, the Sing for your Supper nights staged by sponsors Opel for the media covering the Republic of Ireland away games. On the eve of a major international manager Jack Charlton would be there singing Blaydon Races. I particularly remember a special version of There Ain’t Nothing like a Dame, rewritten by the FWA’s Chris Davies. The new lyrics referred to a minor house fire suffered by a well-known TV pundit who was also in attendance. The lyrics scanned perfectly, Rodgers and Hammerstein would have been proud to hear the English press corps sing: “Beglin’s house went up in flames.”

Best stadium?
San Siro.

…and the worst?
Ali Sami Yen, home of Galatasaray until 2010 was the worst.  The coldest was the Lenin Stadium in Moscow for what we thought was a meaningless Champions League game between Spartak Moscow and Blackburn Rovers. The English champions had already gone out and were fulfilling the fixture. Some of the English press corps indulged in snow ball fights around the media cabins. After all, this was the game that wasn’t worth more than ten pars in our northern editions. Then David Batty and Graeme le Saux had their on-field fight and back page splashes and double page spreads were called for.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
I’m sure we’ve all endured that horrible moment when your computer screen slowly dies in front of you. It happened to me in Dublin in 1995 when the Republic of Ireland’s friendly with England had to be abandoned because of rioting England fans.  Thanks goodness the Daily Mail still had copy takers.

Biggest mistake?
There are probably too many but one was sitting between Tony Stenson and Peter Fitton on a late night trip from Izmir to Dublin. A litre of vodka had been purchased at duty free. That nice, friendly stewardess from Aer Lingus supplied the orange juice and all fluids were consumed by the correspondents on the flight. I was taking antibiotics and couldn’t touch alcohol. Let’s just say it made for an interesting three hours in the observer corps.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
Yep, former Wales midfielder Peter Nicholas. I had more hair then. During the five-year ban on English clubs post-Heysel I covered a few Scottish teams and was in Aberdeen for a UEFA Cup tie. My old mate Ian Porterfield was their manager and we met up for a couple of beers on the eve of the game. The next day the Ian received complaints that Peter Nicholas had been spotted boozing in a local hotel and should be dropped. But the super grass hadn’t spotted the person “Nicko” was drinking with was the Dons manager. Ian put the complainant right.

Most media friendly manager?
Jack Charlton during his days as Ireland boss and here’s a surprise nomination: Alex Ferguson. In the days when we could get to him and Fergie gave us his home and mobile numbers,  we knew if we kept him talking long enough he always delivered a back page splash.

Best ever player?
Denis Law and Billy Bremner.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Johan Cruyff’s Holland, 1974-78. Didn’t win much but great to watch.

Best pre-match grub?
Steeles Restaurant (fish and chips), Cleethorpes.

Best meal had on your travels?
Botafumeiro, Barcelona. Recommended by Terry Venables. It was superb.

…and the worst?
The eve of match directors’ dinner in Ukraine when Leeds played Metallurg Zaporishny.

Best hotel stayed in?
Kempinski Palace, Istanbul.

…and the worst?
The brand new hotel in Tirana where the Republic of Ireland were billeted back in 1993. My room had cardboard window frames and cling film for glass.

Favourite football writer?
Ron Crowther (Daily Mail) for breaking stories. David Lacey (Guardian) for his analysis and match reports.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Clive Tyldesley (Radio City, Liverpool) Whatever happened to him?

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
Make it mandatory that every club has media areas with working wi-fi and signals for mobile phone. The fact that journalists can’t do their jobs in media areas at several Barclays Premier League stadia is astonishing and unacceptable for “the best league in the world”. One sporting event outside football you would love to experience? Given Frank Warren is now promoting unlicensed fighters I’d like to see the Brian Moore – Charlie Sale showdown on the undercard to Haye v Chisora.

Last book read?
Life and Fate by Vasily Grossman

Favourite current TV programme?
Not a programme, a sports website called Firstrowsports – great for 24 hour coverage of live sports events from around the globe. Warning – it could end in divorce and is probably illegal!

Your most prized football memorabilia?
Leeds v Barcelona programme from 1975 European Cup semi-final, signed by Johan Cruyff.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Be honest and open in your work. And when you get a major rollicking from a famous manager make sure you keep pursuing stories with him. Never skulk away and let him think he’s beaten you. Funnily enough, there are plenty of old pros who’ll confirm some of their best, lifelong contacts and relationships started out as rows over copy or headlines.

New Chairman and Executive Secretary

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The FWA is pleased to announce that Andy Dunn is the new Chairman of the Association and Paul McCarthy has become Executive Secretary.
Andy takes over from Steve Bates, who served four years as Chairman with distinction. Paul Hetherington stands down as executive secretary after two years’ sterling service following the passing of Ken Montgomery.

My Week: Gerry Cox

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Gerry Cox of Hayters on being mocked in public by Alec Stewart…a strangely attractive slag heap…and a truly Super Sunday

Monday May 7
Bank Holiday Monday so two things are guaranteed – it will rain and I will end up working on my day off. I have promised the kids we will have a family day out after spending the weekend working – Aston Villa v Spurs on Sunday and Arsenal v Norwich before that. My report in the Telegraph started as a thinkpiece on Van Persie’s future, after I interviewed him on the night he won his Footballer of the Year award, but ends up as a few pars of wire copy about Bacary Sagna’s broken leg.

Rain puts paid to the great active outdoors so look for alternatives. Younger son is fascinated by warfare and the history of human conflict, but decide against West Ham v Cardiff and take them to the Imperial War Museum instead. Two very moving exhibitions there – War Story is told by those brave boys serving in Afghanistan, and the Holocaust says it all. See the uniform worn by a friend’s mother when she was taken to Auschwitz at 15. She donated it last year shortly before she died. Both exhibitions bring home how lucky we are – and it is good that the kids appreciate this. Get updates from Upton Park among the calls and emails with work-related queries. Good to hear the Hammers have won, though feel for Malky Mackay, who was excellent when I interviewed him last month.

Stroll along the embankment before driving back through the city voted last week “the world’s best place to visit”. For all the cost and hassle of living in London, we are fortunate to have so much on our doorstep. Catch the last stages of Blackburn v Wigan, answer the last calls and emails of the day and start planning the week ahead.

Tuesday May 8
Up early to walk my boys to the tube and get the papers on the way back. Mirror leads on Abramovich offering Guardiola silly money to be manager, but my source close to the Russian has told me to ‘put my house’ on Mourinho going back there. I ignore him of course. Not a big fan of gambling since Hayters almost went under last year when a rogue employee stole over £100k to pay William Hill rather than pay VAT to HMRC. He’s on the run from the police now.

Walk my daughter to school and answer emails and texts on the way home. Japanese TV want us to interview Pat Rice about Financial Fair Play. I suggest this may not be his strong suit, and a look back over 44 years at Arsenal might be better. They agree. Quick trip to the gym to a) keep my knackered knee in some sort of shape, and b) work off two roast dinners from Sunday, one at Villa and one when I got home.

Then off to QPR’s training ground for an interview with Nedum Onuoha ahead of his first return to Manchester City. He talks intelligently and candidly about everything, including the Garry Cook affair. Desperately hope QPR can stay up – not only a local club, but their press office is friendly and helpful – a rare combination these days.

Quick dash to the office, to find a Chinook hovering over Tottenham, which feels more like a war zone every day. Then on to the Aviva Rugby awards in Park Lane to shoot a video for the sponsors. Players happy to stop and talk including Chris Robshaw, the new England captain and deserved Player of the Year. I haven’t covered rugby for 20-odd years, but Julian Bennetts, one of our bright young things, knows what he’s talking about and the sponsors are very happy. So am I. The fee for this job is the equivalent of covering 60 lower division matches for one of our leading national newspapers! Back around midnight to catch the highlights of Chelsea’s humiliation at Anfield and wonder if John Terry has played himself out of contention for England while Andy Carroll plays himself into the squad for Euro 2012.

Wednesday May 9
Just been told that our request for a second press pass at the Olympics has been approved so get my details into the accreditation office on deadline day. No idea what work we might do at the Games, as most desks have not even done their Euro 2012 planning. We have a meeting at Hayters to discuss how we will cover the tournament. There are likely to be four of us out there, and I will be in Donetsk for most of it. The official UEFA guide talks about the city’s ‘striking socialist statues’ and ‘strangely attractive slag heaps’ – and that is about it as far as sightseeing goes. I can’t wait.

Thursday May 10
The SJA have organised a lunch in the Old Cock in Fleet Street with Alec Stewart and the former England captain is forthright in his views on cricket – and Chelsea. Takes the chance to mock me publicly over Tottenham’s lack of Champions League participation and says beating Bayern and knocking out the 4th team would be a double whammy for Chelsea fans if it is Spurs. Take the chance to stroll down Fleet Street for old times’ sake and wander past the old Hayters office in Gough Square where it all started for me under the late, great Reg Hayter. Visit Dr Johnson’s office for first time, having missed out during all the years I worked next door. Starts pouring down with rain so I pull up a chair in his garrett and tap out a piece from the Alec Stewart lunch. Somehow fitting, though I doubt Samuel Johnson had the benefits a MacBook and wi-fi.

Then off to an evening with Gareth Southgate and Alan Smith in Victoria. I’ve known them for the best part of 20 years, since they were at Crystal Palace and they are both top blokes – even used to be shareholders in Hayters. Interesting to hear Gareth’s views about the choice of England manager and whether Terry and Ferdinand can both go to Euro 2012. Not sure I agree with him.

Friday May 11
A few calls and emails, as well as a preview of Chelsea v Blackburn for the Telegraph, then off to QPR’s training ground for Mark Hughes’ press conference. He is in remarkably relaxed mood considering the doomsday scenario QPR face if they go down. The club’s media team bring round tea and coffee before and after the press conference, and I wish them all the best on Sunday. Dash off to a meeting next to Queen’s Club in Baron’s Court with an Australian TV company who want to buy video content, and quickly agree a deal that should hopefully work out well for them and us.
Then back home in time for tea, while writing up my Sunday pieces from QPR.

Saturday May 12
One of those rare events – a Saturday with no work. Am at a loss what to do. At least I can spend a bit more time with the under-14 side I coach at the Brentham Club, where Peter Crouch played football, Mike Brearley learned his cricket and Fred Perry started on the road to tennis greatness. Trying to encourage kids to pass and move – and talk to each other – is not easy. Simple things take an age to sink in, but when it comes together – even for fleeting moments in games – it is enormously rewarding.

As 3pm approaches, I start to feel restless, knowing I should really be somewhere else. Decide to attack the garden, where the once lush lawn has been reduced to something resembling Derby’s Baseball Ground circa 1974 by my kids trying to perfect their slide tackle technique. Make a mental note to ask Wembley’s groundsman what is the secret to perfect turf.

Sunday May 13
Judgement Day, Super Sunday, the Day of Reckoning – call it what you may, this is clearly going to be a huge day in the Barclays Premier League. Pick up the Sunday Mirror to find my QPR preview has not made it in, but plenty of stuff from the other Hayters lads. First sunny Sunday for weeks so I am all for taking the kids out on the golf course that backs on to our garden, but persuaded to take them swimming. Feel like a fish out of water – and swim like one too. Realise I am distinctly under-tatooed, with some striking – and horrendous – body ‘art’ on show. And that’s just the women.

Then off to Stamford Bridge for a dead rubber,with Chelsea and Blackburn’s positions fixed already. Chelsea put out a second string except for those suspeneded from the Champions League final so the only way we will get a story is if someone gets injured, and you wouldn’t wish that on anyone. The pre-match food, however, is superb, easily the best in the country, with an exotic array of cold meats, fish and salads, followed by steak and kidney pie and a ridiculously rich choice of desserts.

Struggle to concentrate on the Chelsea game, especially as goals start to go in at White Hart Lane, West Bromwich and Stoke. By half-time, Man City are top, Spurs are third and Bolton are safe, but by the final whistle at Chelsea, everything has changed. Arsenal have nicked third spot, Bolton are relegated and City on their way to an unlikely defeat. But of course there are five minutes of ‘Fergie Time’ at Eastlands and the rest, as we know is utter Madchester madness. Chelsea follow their win with a lap of honour, and the press room looks like a bling-laden creche with all the wags and their kids waiting to join the players on the pitch. Roberto Di Matteo is hard work as we try to glean what the coming weeks might bring, Steve Kean is cocksure that his future is assured, and I more or less turn off the lights as the last one out of Stamford Bridge once again – with another season almost over. Just a week to go to discover the fate of Chelsea, Spurs, Drogba, Bale, Di Matteo and the rest – and then we head for another summer of probable discontent with England.

FWA Q&A: Nigel Clarke

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NIGEL CLARKE on walking into the ladies locker room at Wimbledon…eating horse flesh…and sleeping by an open sewer

Your first ever job in journalism?
First job was for Dixon’s Agency the forerunner of Hayters. Messenger boy, tea maker, errand boy. Kept mouth shut and ears open

Have you ever worked in a profession other than journalism?
Never done a day’s work in any other profession or ever wanted to.
Most memorable match?
England 4, West Germany 2 1966 World Cup Final.

The one moment in football you would put on a DVD?
The above for sheer unmitigated tension, anxiety, emotion and, in the end, pride.

Best stadium?
The Olympic stadium in Rome.

…and the worst?
Crystal Palace.

Your personal new-tech disaster?
Snitching a 1,000-word interview with Franz Beckenabauer, who I knew, before the England v. West Germany semi-final in the 1990 World Cup. Then pressing the wrong button, losing the lot, and then, missing the coach back to hotel where I could have phoned it through on copy. Missed edition, office not happy.

Biggest mistake?
Walking into the ladies locker room at Wimbledon assisting an injured player who had turned her ankle, to be confronted with about ten naked tennis players, who stood their ground. Averted eyes and exited left very quickly.

Have you ever been mistaken for anyone else?
Geoff Hurst. But then I write like him too.

Most media friendly manager?
Malcolm Allison. Different class.

Best ever player?
George Best.

Best ever teams (club and international)?
Chelsea side that did so well under Mourinho. Brazil 1970.

Best pre-match grub?
Arsenal in the old days.

Best meal had on your travels?
A pint of whisky sour and a burger in Palm Springs.

…and the worst?
Horse flesh and stale cabbage in Moldova.

Best hotel stayed in?
Plaza New York.

…and the worst?
A dump in Albania with an open sewer running through the back of the bathroom. Toilet was brown and blocked.

Favourite football writer?
Ian Ladyman.

Favourite radio/TV commentator?
Brian Moore.

If you could introduce one change to improve PR between football clubs and football writers what would it be?
More contact between players and press. Like it used to be without any media officers snooping around.

One sporting event outside football you would love to experience?
A re-visit to that ladies locker room at Wimbledon…knowing what I know now.

Last book read?
A history of the Cuckmere Valley, the East Sussex beauty spot in the Seven Sisters Park.

Favourite current TV programme?
Countryfile.

Your most prized football memorabilia?
The badge of Bobby Moore’s spare England shirt. He gave to me when my daughter was born.

Advice to anyone coming into the football media world?
Eyes open, ears open, mouth shut. Look learn, and listen, and, never, even give up. The job is the most joyous thing in life.

Nigel Clarke has covered football and tennis for the Daily Mirror and the Daily Express.